


These days

by Realismreading



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:14:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 61,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24560638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Realismreading/pseuds/Realismreading
Summary: School can be a tough time, regardless of whether you're a Muggle or not, but it's even harder battling your feelings for one of your best friends.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 27
Kudos: 103





	1. These Days

Remus walked down the platform, looking over all the heads to find his friends. His sudden growth spurt over the summer meant that he was now standing at just over six feet, easily taller that about eighty per cent of people gathered on the platform.  
  
“Who are you looking for, Remus?” His mother, Hope Lupin, asked from beside him, looking around the platform in wonder. As the mother of a wizard, she could pass onto the platform, even though she was a Muggle. Remus’ father, Lyall, was standing on the other side of Remus, shaking hands and greeting people he recognized from work as he passed by them.  
  
“Probably these best friends he tells us so much about,” Lyall responded, clapping Remus’ shoulder and beaming with pride.   
  
Remus had been very lonely as a child and the fact that he was well-liked at school, had solid friends, got along well with teachers, and just had an all-round pleasant time with life at Hogwarts was all incredibly relieving news for his parents.   
  
They’d been scared that Remus’ shy exterior and the scars on his face would make him stand out, make him a target.   
  
Remus grinned at his father. His parents had decided to join him on the platform this year, something that hadn’t happened since he was eleven.  
  
Now in sixth year, Remus had done the platform routine enough times before to be ready and waiting before the train even arrived.   
  
This year, however, the traffic had been terrible, there had been a huge game of Muggle football that had been kicking off at the same time that the train was due to leave, so they’d had to rush and take detours, which now meant that they’d made it to the platform with only ten minutes to spare as opposed to their usual half an hour.   
  
Remus’ gaze drifted back towards the crowd.   
  
“Moony!” a familiar voice called from behind them. All three Lupins turned around and Remus brightened, recognizing Peter’s blonde hair immediately.  
  
“Hiya, Wormtail!” Remus replied, leaving his luggage trolley at the front of the train, along with other student’s luggage, and embraced his friend.   
  
“Merlin’s beard, I barely recognised you! You’ve grown!” Peter’s eyes were bulging as he took Remus in. Remus chuckled.  
  
“Have you seen the others?” Remus asked.   
  
“Yeah! I’ve seen Prongs, he’s just a bit further ahead. I haven’t said hi yet, my parents always get emotional when the new year rolls around. But he’s alone, I haven’t seen Padfoot yet.” Peter said. He looked at Remus’ parents. “You must be Remus’ parents. I'm Peter,”

Remus’ parents nodded, introducing themselves, and Peter went to the front of the group and showed them over to where he had seen James, who was leaning against one of the brick columns.  
  
He was looking around absentmindedly, but when his eyes landed on Remus and Peter, who were just over ten feet away, his eyes lit up and he grinned, standing up properly.  
  
“Now then, lads! How are we doing?” he hollered over the hundreds of voices standing around them. Remus and Peter arrived in front of him, and the two of them embraced James. “Bloody hell, Moony! I thought _I’d_ had a growth spurt.” James said. Remus smiled.   
  
“Was it a growth spurt or have you just started putting lifts in your shoes to impress Evans?” Remus asked cheekily. James let loose a laugh, cheeks reddening as he gently punched Remus’ shoulder.  
  
Once again, introductions were then made amongst James and Remus’ parents.  
  
“Where’s Padfoot?” Remus asked, trying to sound casual, noting the only Marauder not here yet. James gave him a strange look, amusement combined with knowledge.  
  
James had guessed that Remus had a crush on Sirius at the end of the previous year, after seeing how terrible Remus had felt in the aftermath of the prank-that-shall-not-be-named, how much he had wanted things to be okay with him and Sirius.   
  
Even though they’d worked through it and were still friends, by the time they parted for the summer, Sirius had still been carrying around a lot of guilt and hadn’t been ready to forgive himself yet.  
  
“He went to the loo. He’s been there for a while. I think he secretly just wanted to make a dramatic entrance once everyone was here.” James replied. Remus rolled his eyes. Of course that’s what Sirius was doing. “I should probably let you guys know that he’s been staying with me all summer.”  
  
“Why?” Peter asked.  
  
“Why do you think? His parents kicked him out. He still hasn't told me why and I haven’t pushed. You know how he gets if we try to get more out of him than he’s ready to share. He flew to my place to me in the rain, soaked to the skin, had no other clothes than the ones on his back. He said that his parents had burned all his other ones before shoving him out of the front door with nothing but his broom.” James said. “So probably not a good idea to ask how crap his parents have been like we usually do.”   
  
Remus’ heart ached for Sirius. He had a very close relationship with his parents, couldn’t imagine it being any other way. Sirius had never had that closeness with his own parents.   
  
“Well, well, well … if it isn’t the three most eligible bachelors in the sixth year. Careful now, boys, don’t look, but I can see at least _six_ girls drooling over our dear Moony alone, and that’s not even counting the hundreds chasing after me.” Sirius said, emerging through the crowd with a lopsided smile on his face, hands in the pockets of his tight jeans, and half of his hair pulled back into a short ponytail, the other half lying against the nape of his neck.   
  
Remus was breathless. _Merlin_ , he’d missed Sirius. He always missed all the Marauders, no matter how long they were apart, but Sirius was a different kind of missing, a different kind of longing. And those _jeans_. Had he painted them on? How on earth had he managed to get into them? James and Peter greeted Sirius first, while Remus was still reeling.   
  
Sirius’ eyes flicked to Remus and he softened slightly, the swagger was gone and a more genuine smile gracing his face, without the mischievous glint in his eyes to accompany it.   
  
“Hello, Rem,” Sirius said softly. 

Remus smiled back widely, barely able to contain his joy at seeing Sirius more like himself than he had been at the end of the last year. James and Peter were looking between them anxiously, clearly waiting for things to either be icy and awkward, or warm and calm like the two had always been.   
  
“Hello, Sirius,” Remus replied. 

He held out his arms and moving closer and saw as James and Peter visibly relax. Sirius looked relieved and stepped forward to meet Remus halfway, hugging him tightly as if he was trying to remember the feeling of Remus in his arms, scared that he would forget that feeling when they parted. Remus could hear the sigh of relief from Sirius as they collided and Remus closed his eyes, glad that the summer was finally over.   
  
When they did part, he noticed the small trace of black stuff in Sirius’ waterline and grinned.   
  
“Are you wearing _eyeliner_?” Remus asked.  
  
“Only a tad. I went shopping for some new clothes in Muggle London over the summer. This girl who worked in one of the shops suggested it and showed me how to put it on. I thought it made me look a little more rugged. Girls love a guy who’s in touch with his feminine side, so I’ve heard.” Sirius said, his trademark swagger back in full force. He winked at Remus as if letting him in on a secret. 

“You need all the help you can get, Black. When was the last time you dated a girl? Third-year?” James teased. Remus and Peter snorted.  
  
“They only lasted two weeks before they got tired of each other. More like she got tired of Sirius and he's too proud to admit it." Peter added through his giggles.

James laughed loudly and clapped Peter on the shoulder, looking at him with pride as Remus congratulated him. He was impressed, Peter was approaching being confident at teasing Sirius as James and Remus were.

“Hey! What’s going on?! Is this lets-gang-up-on-Sirius hour? Even Pete’s put on his big boy trousers today!” Sirius exclaimed, pretending to be hurt. 

“We should make an event out of that,” Remus said.

“What? Watching Pete put on his big boy trousers? I think I’ve seen enough of that just being in the same dorm for him for the last five years. But whatever floats your boat, Remus.” Sirius quipped.   
  
Remus sighed, “No, not that. We should get everyone to put all their taunts for Sirius in a box and we go through them in front of everyone once a term. You know, as a stress relief so there are no riots when Gryffindor wins the Quidditch Cup for the third year running. _And_ it might deflate Sirius’ ego a little, make him less insufferable to live with.” 

“Bold of you assume Minnie would _ever_ let such a thing happen,” Sirius huffed, “She’d be heartbroken at the level of bullying that would take place for her favourite student. Besides, it would be a waste of time. Our time at Hogwarts should be purely dedicated to all the new pranks James and I have been planning. The Halloween prank is going to be immense!” 

Remus rolled his eyes, sharing matching looks with James and Peter at the drama. There was the familiar sharp cry of a whistle, signifying that the Express would be leaving shortly. Remus hugged his parents quickly. 

“Have a good year, sweetheart. We’ll see you for Christmas.” Hope said, squeezing Remus so hard in a hug that Remus wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d choked. “I’d be very happy if you brought that Sirius boy home on your arm, you know. The way he looked at you shows how much he cares about you. I love you no matter what.” She whispered.  
  
Remus’ heart stopped. 

He had never told his parents that he was attracted to men. He knew his parents loved him to the ends of the earth and didn’t want that to change, which is why he had never said anything. Telling them would mean that something _would_ change and Remus was terrified to see whether or not their love was as unconditional as they claimed. 

“Thanks, Mum. I’ll see you at Christmas. Send Queenie if you’re missing me too much.” Remus said, pulling away and hugging his dad. “See you soon, Dad. Take care of Mum for me, she's already worried sick.” Lyall smiled as Remus backed away, ruffling his hair fondly. 

“Love you!” Hope called as Remus stepped onto the train. 

“Love you too, Mum!” he replied, waving. 

“It was nice to meet you, Mr and Mrs Lupin! Now we know that Remus is the byproduct of very attractive parents and not just lucky like me!” Sirius yelled, sticking his head out under the arm that Remus had raised to wave with a devilishly cheeky smile. 

“Sirius, you little shit!” Remus laughed, pushing Sirius back onto the train by the collar of his jacket and sending one last smile over his shoulder at his parents before joining the rest of the Marauders. 


	2. Welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new year has begun at Hogwarts and the Marauders have already begun to think of the opportunities the year will bring.

“So, what do you think, Moony?” James asked. Remus snapped back to reality.

He’d been staring out of the window for the last few minutes, unable to keep his mind of what his mother had said to him before he’d gotten on the train.   
  
_She knows. Of course she does. Does Dad know as well, or is he oblivious? How do I even go about addressing it? Should I just deny it?_

“About what?” Remus asked. Sirius gaped at him.

“How were you not listening? Moony, this could be the most incredible prank that we ever do, one that will be told for years to come, and you weren’t listening?” Sirius asked incredulously.   
  
“Come on, Sirius, we’re at Hogwarts for another two years. Don’t tell me you haven’t already been planning a spectacular prank for the last day of seventh year.”

Sirius crossed his arms and tried to look neutral, but the grin started spreading and ruined the illusion.

“I might be. And it might just involve setting off stink bombs in all four common rooms and enchanting some of the suits of armor to burst into the Great Hall and fight each other.” Sirius replied. “But it doesn’t matter right now! Right now, we have a legacy to live up to! And that legacy is to outdo the infestation of rats and snakes in the Slytherin common room that we set up last Halloween.” 

“So what are we thinking?” Remus asked. 

“Either releasing a bunch of toads into the Great Hall during dinner or rigging the deserts to explode during Dumbledore’s post-dinner speech,” James explained. Remus pondered it for a second.

“Why not both?” he suggested. James and Sirius stared.   
  
“Remus has a point,” Peter said quietly. “I was just thinking something similar. We could sneak into the kitchens before the feast. The house-elves are always cleaning the common rooms after cooking because most of the students have gone to Hogsmeade for all the Halloween activities. And no one ever touches treacle tarts on Halloween. They prefer pumpkin pies or pastries, the cauldron cakes, and the black cat candy apples because they’re seasonal.”   
  
“Exactly, Pete, it's the perfect opportunity for a bit of Halloween fun,” Remus said.

As much as Remus claimed to disapprove of the constant rule-breaking, mischief, and mayhem his friends caused, if Remus didn't love every second of the thrill, of the camaraderie that he shared with the boys around him, he would never have stayed alongside them. 

He had an immense feeling of love for all of them, cared for them all deeply, loved, and cherished every second that he had with them. He was terrified to think of what he would do if he ever lost them

He relished in the look of realization spreading across James and Sirius’ faces and knew that they were both kicking themselves for not having thought of this particular idea sooner.

“We rig the tarts to go off at a specific time, five minutes before the feast ends to cause maximum chaos during Dumbledore’s cliché scary speech about haunted happenings in years past. The feast finishes at half seven every year before the teachers get rid of the tables and welcome a band in for a party until half twelve. Then, at midnight, we release the toads into the Great Hall. Everyone will have thought we finished the prank at dinner, so it’ll catch them off guard.” Remus finished.  
  
“Moony, you’re brilliant!” Sirius exclaimed. Remus flushed as Sirius stood and began to pace up and down the carriage a few times before facing Peter, James, and Sirius again. 

“Okay, so we’re going to need to do a Forbidden Forest journey to find some frogs. The treacle tart business should be a doddle, I’ve still got a copy of the schedule all the house-elves are on. We’ll grab some frogs and put them in boxes disguised as Halloween decorations in the Hall. I propose two of us volunteer for kitchen duty, while the other two ask Hagrid to accompany us to the Forest. We can tell him we’re interested in the wildlife and want to rescue some toads to repopulate the area.” Sirius said.   
  
“Hagrid would believe that Peter would want to rescue frogs, so Peter should go to the Forest. Either James or Sirius should go with him.” Remus added. 

“Why me or Sirius and not you?” James asked, frowning.

“The teachers will be on edge if they see you two together on Halloween. If they know one of you is with Hagrid and Peter and the other is in the kitchen with the house elves and me, they’re going to think we’re all doing separate things and under the watchful eyes of the groundskeeper and kitchen staff. If they know you’re both in the kitchen, they’re going to figure out you two will try to do something to the food. They trust me and Peter to balance you two out. Let’s use it to our advantage.” Remus said.

“You’re a genius, Moony!” James said, grinning. “This year is going to be immense!”   
  
~  
  
“Silence, please!” Dumbledore called.

The sound of hundreds of student voices quietening spread through the Hall.

“This year we welcome new Prefects from each House. Originally, these students would be chosen in their fifth year, but this year, the staff and I have concluded that there are superior candidates in sixth year that we feel would be able to live up to our standards the best. Their job is to provide support to our students before matters reach the Heads of Houses, and to especially help our younger students in their first and second years, who may be struggling to find their places at Hogwarts. To show these younger students who their Prefects are, I encourage them to stand on the benches as I call their names.”   
  
“Ten Galleons says he’ll say how the Prefects are a staple of the school community,” James muttered.

The Marauders had managed to find spaces beside each other on one bench Gryffindor table as opposed to being opposite one another, making talking amongst themselves less noticeable.  
  
“Twenty says he’ll warn us all to listen to the Prefects as if they’re teachers,” Sirius responded under his breath. James snickered.  
  
“You’re on, Black.” He said, shaking Sirius’ hand underneath the table.   
  
“From Slytherin, we have Miss Miranda Snipe and Mr Jonathan Snipe. From Hufflepuff, Miss Amelia Collins, and Mr Daniel Murphy. From Ravenclaw, Miss Sophia Campbell, and Mr Connor Rawlings. And finally, from Gryffindor-” a low rumble of anticipation began to rise from the Gryffindor table, people banging their cups or their hands on the table. 

Many of them already knew that Remus was the most likely to become a Prefect.

Most Gryffindors knew who he was and respected Remus for balancing out his friends and being the brains behind a lot of the Marauder’s most successful pranks. 

James and Sirius were the ones who came up with the ideas, Remus did the research, and Peter did a lot of the work when it came to distracting Prefects and teachers, and they all worked to put it together and make it successful. 

Each of them was confident in different areas of magic that made them the bane of the staff’s lives. Together, they were practically unstoppable.

They’d served their fair share of detentions and, even though they’d hate to admit it, most, if not all of the teachers, had a soft spot for them. 

A few smirks and smiles emerged from the other tables. Those who had been at Hogwarts for enough time knew Remus by face and name, considering him a friend. 

Sirius, James, and Peter nudged and poked at Remus, knowing what was about to come.

He swatted at them all as best he could, trying not to smile as he kept his eyes on Dumbledore.

“Quiet please!” Dumbledore called. “From Gryffindor, we have Miss Annalise Michaels and, as I’m sure you’ve all worked out by now … Mr. Remus Lupin!” Chaos erupted from Gryffindor and Remus laughed as he stood on the bench.   
  
His friends began grabbing at his legs and robes, trying to make him fall, crowing and cheering his name and trying to create more chaos. Remus laughed, managing to reach and high five some of the other sixth years sitting close by.

Remus swiped at his friend's hands to get them to stop and gave a small wave to the first years at the front of the table. 

“You can sit down now, Prefects. First years, your Prefects will show you to your common room and will help you get settled for the night. Do not be afraid to ask for help. They are a staple of this school’s community and we are very proud of the job that they will do in helping you have the best time at Hogwarts. I would like to remind all returning students that Prefects are to be respected as if they're members of staff, and they will not tolerate any misbehaviour. Let this be the start of a wonderful new year at Hogwarts!” Dumbledore dismissed.

James cursed as he handed over twenty Galleons to Sirius and the Hall became almost deafening with the sound of students standing and beginning to make their ways back to their respective common rooms. 

Remus made his way to the front of the Hall, introduced himself properly to the first years. He and Annalise smiled at each other, and once the Hall had cleared a bit more, they began leading to the first years up to the Gryffindor Tower. 

Annalise had been in Remus' study group for the last two years. They had never been massively close, but they’d gotten along well enough and considered each other friends. She was sweet, with dark brown hair, brown eyes, freckles, and dimples. 

_She'd be a nice girl to get Mum off the scent._

And then Remus' heart stopped. He couldn't do that, could he? It wasn't fair to Annalise, and Remus was terrible at lying to people outside of necessity. 

_Doesn't this count as a necessity? Mum is okay with it, but would Dad be?_

"Are you okay, Remus?" Annalise asked. "You're quiet tonight. Where are those ridiculous friends of yours? You four are normally always attached at the hip." Remus smiled.

"They've gone up to the dorm. They find the whole Prefect thing boring." Remus replied. 

"Let me guess, they'll only care about it when they've got a prank to play and they can use it as a force for evil? The chaos you four cause always seems to escalate with each year that passes. I imagine you’ve already got your annual Halloween prank in place." 

"Your guess is as good as mine, Annalise. James and Sirius always come up with the ideas, I’m just the researcher. If there _is_ a prank for this Halloween, I don’t know anything about it. We haven't even started planning yet." Remus lied.

It was partially true, so he didn't feel particularly bad about it. They only had an vague idea and hadn't started any hardcore planning yet. That would start when October rolled around. 

As they approached the portrait of the Fat Lady, James, Peter, and Sirius came into view, frowning and muttering amongst themselves.

“It seems I was right. You can never have one Marauder without the other three far behind,” Annalise called.

James, Sirius, and Peter looked up and wore matching grins when they saw Remus. 

“What are you three doing waiting outside? Why aren’t you in the dorm?” Remus asked.

“We forgot the password,” Peter said bashfully.

“Already?!” Remus raised an eyebrow, and when Sirius and James didn’t deny it, he sighed stepping forward to speak to the Fat Lady. 

“Hello, Remus! How was your summer?” The Fat Lady’s voice was as shrill as ever but Remus smiled kindly regardless. 

“It was lovely, thank you. How was yours?” Remus asked. 

“I spent a lot of time practising my technique. Would you like to hear?” The Fat Lady responded. 

“If you wouldn’t mind, ma’am, I have to get the first years settled in right now. But I'll hear your new and improved technique as soon as possible, I promise.” Remus told her. 

“I look forward to showing you, Remus! The password, if you wouldn’t mind? Usually, I would let you in, but for formalities’ sake-”

“Of course! ‘Devil’s Snare.’” Remus said. The portrait swung open and Remus led the first years inside. The look of wonder that spread across their faces was the best part of his duties so far. 

Remus remembered that feeling that he'd had, stepping into the common room for the first time. It had been the start of the best part of his life so far.  
  
“Welcome to the Gryffindor common room,” Annalise said. “Dormitories are up here. Boys on the left and girls are on the right. Your trunks are all at the bottom of your beds. The rest of the evening is yours to do with as you please, but you’ve had a long day, so I suggest getting a relatively early night. You’ll thank yourself when classes start tomorrow.” 

The first years separated into boys and girls and started climbing up the stairs towards their dormitories.  
  
“So, you enjoying being a Prefect, then, Moony?” Sirius asked, smirking as the four started the ascent up the stairwell to their dorm.   
  
“I’ll like it a lot better when I start docking House points off you three because you’re annoying me. Maybe then you’ll finally start to listen to me.”   
  
“Ha ha, very funny. Like you would ever do such a thing. You want to win the House Cup more than we do.” James said sarcastically as the four entered their dorm and settled on their beds, continuing with their prank planning.

It felt great to finally be back where Remus belonged, in a dormitory, surrounded by his three best friends, with the only thing he needed to worry about was making sure they didn't get caught during a prank. Remus dreaded the day they left Hogwarts, but for now, he would make the most of every precious second he had.


	3. Halloween Pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plans for the Halloween prank begin to take form, as well as Remus' struggles to adapt to being a Prefect and noticing strange behavior from Sirius

The first few weeks back were hectic. Remus had honestly been expecting more work than what they'd been set so far, but the teachers had decided to give them time to get back into the swing of being back at school after their O.W.Ls. The real work would likely begin as they got into October and November.   
  
Remus had been finding life hectic due to the new Prefect duties. The first years were settling nicely, but there were still a few that were causing trouble, getting docked House points, getting lost in the corridors, or getting trapped on the moving staircases.   
  
He and Annalise had their work cut out for them with Matthew Bailey, one of the first years who reminded Remus of James and Sirius put together. The unkempt look, with a cheeky smile and a penchant for raising Cain.  
  
“Matthew, come here!” Remus called. He had just spotted the first-year sprinting past him, down the Charms corridor while coming out of the classroom. James, Sirius, and Peter frowned as Matthew stopped and slowly walked back towards Remus. This was the first time they’d come face to face with the new bane of Remus’ life.  
  
“Everything alright?” Matthew asked as he approached, trying to remain visually neutral. But Remus hadn't spent so long being friends with James and Sirius without being able to see through the facades they tried to fool him with.   
  
“What have you done?”   
  
“What do you mean? I haven’t done anything! You’re always having a go at me for being late, so I’m rushing to my next class.” Matthew said indignantly. Remus raised an eyebrow.   
  
“Where did you get the stink bomb, Matthew? Hand it over.” Remus said, holding out a hand. He could feel the grins and the faces that his friends were making behind him. “I know what you three are doing, stop encouraging him.” Remus snapped at them over his shoulder.   
  
Matthew was scowling and he handed over the stink bombs in his pockets. Remus raised his eyebrow again as he stuffed the bombs into his own pockets and Matthew scowled harder, digging out another three and depositing them in Remus’ hand.   
  
“Now go on, what class are you supposed to be in now?” Remus asked. Matthew muttered something. “I’m sorry, what was that?”   
  
“Potions,” Matthew said.   
  
“Then I suggest you continue running down to Slughorn. If he has a problem with your lateness, tell him to take it up with me. Do _not_ let me catch you with these again, do you understand?” Matthew nodded, jaw clenched and eyes averted. “If you want to set them off, find smarter ways of concealing both the items themselves and your intentions. Sirius, don’t you dare suggest what I know you’re thinking of. Off you go, Matthew.”   
  
Remus sighed as Matthew skulked off. Matthew was becoming more and more of a pain with each passing day.  
  
“We should be encouraging young talent, Remus,” James said, slinging an arm around Remus’ shoulders as the four of them headed towards the library.   
  
“Not when one of us is a Prefect. The teachers will never believe my cover-ups again if I let things like that slide. Besides, Anna would have caught him if I hadn’t, she had a class just down the corridor that finished at the same time as ours.” Remus replied.   
  
“Anna? Since when have you been shortening her name?” Sirius asked curiously.  
  
“Next thing you know, she’ll be calling you Rem.” James joked.   
  
“Not if Padfoot has anything to do with it,” Peter said. “He’d hex her into next week if she did. Only he calls you Rem, everyone knows that. She’d be stupid to try.”   
  
“I would not hex her, Pete! I’m a gentleman!” Sirius exclaimed, a blossom of red spreading across his cheeks. His pale complexion made it that more obvious that he was embarrassed.   
  
Remus frowned. _I’ve never seen him so defensive. He’s usually so proud of his hexing abilities. Why would he get so agitated this time?  
  
_“More like a wild dog.” Remus teased, making a casual reference to Sirius’ Animagus form. “Remember Marie Cavanaugh? You didn’t half hex her for calling me Moony once. She still doesn’t look at me in the corridors and it happened three years ago.”   
  
“Two and a half!” Sirius protested. Remus rolled his eyes. “Excuse me for defending your honor.” Remus laughed at that.   
  
“How is it defending my honor? Please, enlighten me.” He asked.   
  
“It’s a nickname given to you by your dearest friends in the world-”  
  
"That’s a stretch. You’re more like my most painful headache.” Remus interrupted. James and Peter had stopped now, were leaning on each other, and laughing at the bickering.  
  
Remus slowed to a stop as well, a few steps in front of James and Peter. Sirius took a few more steps and then faced him. A strange look crossed his face that Remus had never seen before.

What _had_ gotten Sirius so worked up? Remus was usually a little possessive sometimes as it got closer to the full moon, but Sirius was always so calm, so laid back.  
  
“It’s our nickname for you. No one else’s. It has meaning from us. It isn’t the same. Maybe I went a bit overboard. Maybe she went crying to Sprout and I got fifty points taken off, but we weren’t going to win that year anyway! That DADA teacher was impartial to the Hufflepuffs, they were over two hundred points ahead, we couldn’t have hoped to catch up in one week.” Sirius said.  
  
Remus just smiled and walked closer to Sirius, playfully pushing Sirius’ head and carrying on the walk to the library, the other three not far behind.  
  
“Who’s the possessive one now?” Remus asked.   
  
“Still you. You’re the one that steals clothes in the lead up to the moon.” James said.   
  
“Hey! Those shirts were old ones that you all gave to me because you’d read somewhere about familiar scents being comforting.” Remus laughed, feeling himself heat up. James rolled his eyes, nudged Remus, and then grinning slowly before taking off down the corridor at full speed.   
  
“Last one to the library has to buy the drinks on the Hogsmeade trip!” James yelled.   
  
~  
  
“Let’s go through the plan again. We have to make sure that we know every single detail off by heart.” James said.  
  
“Okay, so we have Peter and me with Hagrid, James and Remus in the kitchen,” Sirius started, pacing around the room, deep in thought.   
  
His dark hair was wild, the curls and kinks frizzy. Remus’ heart was beating hard at the sight. Even dishevelled, Sirius was frustratingly attractive. 

“Remus is going to meet James down at the kitchens after his Prefect duties at half-past two to make it more believable that they want to help with making all the food, not just the desserts. Peter and I will leave for Hagrid’s half an hour later so as not to raise suspicion that we’re all parting ways at the same time. We’ll bring some boxes with us from the storage cupboard in Filch’s office. We still have a duplicated key from last year, so getting a few boxes should be easy.” Sirius said.   
  
“You two collect some frogs from the Forest, keep Hagrid distracted for at least an hour, then come back to the castle, spend some time working on believable decorations, take them down to the Great Hall, and ask Slughorn if he’d like some help with the decorations,” James added.   
  
“Meanwhile, by the time you two get back, the house-elves will leave the kitchen to clean the common rooms and the dormitories. From then, we’ll have forty-five minutes, _maybe_ an hour if we’re lucky, to enchant every single treacle tart to explode at exactly twenty-five minutes past seven.” Remus said.   
  
“And, at midnight, while everyone is dancing in the Great Hall, we release the toads from their spots by the door.” Peter finished.   
  
“This plan is going to be immense!” Sirius crowed. “And it all begins tomorrow, lads!”   
  
~  
  
Remus tapped his foot impatiently. James was supposed to have been here by now.  
  
_Goddamn it, James, where are you?  
_  
Footsteps echoed on the floor and Remus turned to see Sirius racing around the corner.   
  
“Sorry! James got pulled up by McGonnagall about something in the common room. We had to swap places. Pete’s gone to the Forest by himself, James is going to join him in about half an hour. Pete and Hagrid are going to think of some markers so James doesn’t get lost on his own.” Remus grimaced.   
  
“Is Pete gonna be able to do it on his own until James gets there? It's supposed to be a two-man job." Remus asked, anxious that this one minor detail could spoil the entire plan.

"He'll have to manage. Besides, he's got Hagrid with him, there are already two men there. It's just not the two we'd planned on. It's okay though, we just need to worry about these tarts." Sirius replied.  
  
He was still wheezing, trying to catch his breath. He was windswept, having clearly run through the castle at full speed without stopping. His cheeks were tinged with pink from exertion, and there was a twinkle of excitement in his eyes.

Remus signed and mentally shook himself. He _had_ to stop this. James had to be wrong. There was no way he was actually attracted to Sirius. He was just being observant, a quality that he had always prided himself on. It was fine. James and his mother were wrong. He was completely unattracted to Sirius, he wasn't attracted to guys at all. _It was fine_. 

"Okay, come on, let’s just go inside. We've got work to do.” Remus hurried, stepping inside the humid kitchen. It was huge down here and was one of the biggest areas of Hogwarts. House-elves stared as they walked in.   
  
“Hi! Uhhhh … we were wondering if you’d like some help for the feast tonight. We’ve decided to take up cooking as a hobby and thought we’d lend a hand.” Sirius said.   
  
~  
  
The Marauders were out of breath as they raced towards the Great Hall, forcing themselves into the throng of students and finding some empty spaces at the Gryffindor bench and the four of them shared identical smirks as they waited for the fun to commence. 

"Halloween is a wonderful time at Hogwarts, and I hope that all of you have joined the activities down at Hogsmeade," Dumbledore began. "I have to say that I'm incredibly proud of all of our students, especially four sixth years that will go unnamed, for their maturity throughout the day and refraining from causing mischief and mayhem."

There were some laughs at that as people looked at the Marauders, many of them disappointed that there had been no excitement this year. 

"We've turned over a new leaf, sir!" Sirius called.

"Yeah, we're productive members of society now!" James added. 

"Remus' holy duties as a Prefect have made us change our ways!" Pete joked. Remus shoved him playfully.

"We've seen the light, Professor! We've recognized our full potential." Remus finished.

A few more laughs erupted throughout the Hall. 

"And for that, Hogwarts can sleep easier at night." Dumbledore chuckled. The Marauders smirked at each other. They'd worked incredibly hard to make sure that no one would suspect anything.

And now, they had only an hour until they proved everyone wrong. 


	4. Halloween Pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Halloween fun commences but some negative reactions cause a rift between Sirius and Remus

Remus checked his watch subtly. Two minutes to go until his and Sirius’ magic was put to the test. He felt a hand on his wrist and his heart jumped into his throat.

“Relax, Moony, I just want to see the time,” Sirius muttered.

He gently adjusted Remus’ wrist as Remus returned his gaze up to Dumbledore, who was talking about how rowdy the ghosts could get on Halloween night as they fought to keep a wilder side of them in check.

It was nonsense, of course, most of the older students knew that the ghosts were completely harmless. They’d act a little differently around the younger students just to spook them and make their time at Hogwarts memorable, but them having a ‘wilder side’ was a complete exaggeration of the truth.

The only wild spirit in the whole castle was Peeves, and even then, he was relatively fond of the Marauders and they all regularly gave each other inspiration for mischief. Remus’ heart didn’t return to his ribcage until Sirius let go of his wrist and he let out a quiet, shaky breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“It’s okay, Moony, don’t be nervous. It’s all going to go to plan.” Sirius whispered.

“I know. Now hush, before someone hears.” Remus replied quietly. He could feel Sirius’ eyes on him. Two minutes passed more slowly than it took to chew through the thick treacle on the tarts they’d enchanted, so when the first of the tarts went off over at the Slytherin table, everyone jumped.

Sirius and Remus had made sure that the tarts were loaded on platters specific to each table and would act as a domino effect. The Slytherin tarts obviously would go off first, leaving everyone with ample time to register what had happened and laugh before the Hufflepuff ones went off, then the Ravenclaw ones, and finally the Gryffindor ones.

The laughs begun as the Slytherins were left staring at each other in a mixture of rage and confusion. And then the Hufflepuffs yelped in surprise as their tarts exploded. At that point, people had begun to realize there was a chain reaction.

The Ravenclaws and Gryffindors began to struggle out of their seats, but in the rush, most of the people on both tables were still trapped on the benches when treacle flew everywhere as the final tarts erupted and landed on pretty much every single student.

Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus were not exempt from the explosions, believing it to be important to get as messy as everyone else so as not to give the teachers any evidence that they were involved.

They had managed to climb out from the benches before the tarts had gone off, but were covered in the syrup nonetheless.

“Nice work, you two!” James yelled over the noise, clapping Sirius and Remus on the back. The four of them were grinning madly and congratulating each other.

Dumbledore was yelling for silence at the front of the room, but it wasn’t until he’d cast _sonorus_ , the charm to make his voice louder, that people listened.

“Return to your seats, please!” His voice boomed. The students slowly calmed and returned to their seats as Dumbledore had asked. “Every student is to return to their dormitories to get changed or if you are capable enough to use a cleaning charm, please do so. The Great Hall needs to be vacated to make final preparations for our annual party. The party starts in an hour. Hopefully, we’ll see the majority of you then.”

Students gain began to rise and leave the Great Hall, some of them cursing under the breaths, others laughing heartily, trying to work on cleaning their clothes as they walked.

“Honestly, will you four ever grow up?” Lily asked from behind the Marauders as they left the Hall.

“Why, whatever are you talking about, Miss Evans?” Sirius asked sweetly, turning around to face her in the foyer. Lily was frowning at them and Remus was shocked to see Annalise with her. He could sense Sirius stiffening beside him as he saw Annalise as well.

“Don’t play dumb, Black. That had your name written all over it.” Annalise said.

“I think you’ll find it has all of our names on it,” Sirius said.

Annalise’s eyes flicked to Remus and he elbowed Sirius. Sirius' need for glory when it came to pranks had gotten them into trouble before, and yet he had to do it at least once a year.

“I’m a humble man, not one to take all the credit for a spectacular prank.”

“You know, you really shouldn’t enable them, Remus.” Annalise ignored Sirius, instead focusing entirely on Remus. He felt incredibly uncomfortable in his skin all of a sudden, his mind screaming at him to just go back to the dormitory to avoid that stare.

“So what if I enable them? It was harmless. We targeted the tarts because we knew no one would touch them. We don’t ever do anything that would hurt anyone, so why shouldn’t we indulge in some fun? It’s Halloween.” Remus replied. Annalise pulled a face.

“You should all start taking things a bit more seriously. You’re all turning seventeen this year, you’re going to be adults. You should start acting like it.” Lily told them. Her and Annalise moved closer to move around them, heading towards the common room.

“You know where I am if you decide to start acting like a Prefect instead of an eleven-year-old boy.” Annalise addressed Remus as she passed.

“Drama queens,” James sighed. “Why do girls get to a certain age and start acting like they’re more mature than everyone else around them?”

“You don’t have to try and fool us, James, we all know you like being put in your place by Lily,” Peter joked. The four of them began the trek back to the Gryffindor Tower.

“Annalise likes Remus,” Sirius said bluntly.

“We’re friends, Sirius, of course, she likes me. That's a given in friendships.” Remus replied.

“You know what I mean. She wants more.” Sirius told him.

“Well, it doesn’t make a difference to me whether or not she wants more,” Remus said.

“Why not?” Sirius asked. “She’s a Prefect as well. You two would be perfect together, walking around the halls being all grown up and mature, telling everyone what to do. Going to your study groups and being all over each other.” 

Remus could barely breathe. Sirius wanted him to date Annalise? He’d never suggested anyone to Remus before, had never tried to set him up with anyone as he had with James and Peter. To say it hurt would be an understatement.

“W-well – I … I suppose she is nice and I guess we’re quite similar.”

“Well, maybe you should date her, then, since you get along so well with her.”

“Pads, what has gotten into you?!” Remus exclaimed. “If I didn’t know you better, I’d say you were jealous.”

“Why would I be jealous? I can have whoever I like.” Sirius snapped.

“Yeah, but in this case, she doesn’t want you.” Remus retorted. Sirius stopped and frowned.

“ _What?_ " 

“You heard me. She doesn’t want you. I know that’s hard for you to hear, but it isn’t an uncommon occurrence, you know. Why can’t someone like _me_ for a change? Even if it won’t go anywhere, don’t I deserve to have someone be interested in me romantically? Why can't someone see past my scars and like me even though I look like this?”

Remus had stopped and was turned to face Sirius now. James and Peter were anxiously backing away, not wanting to get involved. He didn’t even know where all of this was coming from. Maybe it was the knowledge that the only person in the world that he wanted could never want him back.

It made him angry and upset. Annalise wasn’t right for him, because he wanted Sirius, more than he’d ever wanted anything, but he couldn’t have Sirius and it hurt more than anything he’d ever experienced before. Sirius had so many people he could choose from. Even if Sirius was … that way inclined … he would never have chosen Remus. So many people would catch his eye before Remus could.

“You think I’m jealous of you for getting Annalise’s affections? Do you think I want anything to do with her? You know she’s the daughter of a family friend? My parents tried to set me up with her once. Why would I ever want her when she reminds me of my crappy family?” Sirius asked.

“Well, what other reason is there for acting like this, Sirius?!” Remus asked, throwing his arms up in exasperation. “What do you want me to say?! We just had a successful prank, a prank that you and James have been raving about since term started. We’re halfway through the plan and now you’re getting annoyed. And at what?! A girl?! I don’t understand what’s wrong!”

“You know what, it doesn’t matter, Remus. If you haven’t figured it out by now, then you probably won’t ever. I’ll see you guys at the party.” And with that, Sirius stormed off.

Remus turned to watch him go and stared at James and Peter.

“Any ideas on what that was about?” Remus asked. They both shook their heads. Remus sighed. “I need to cool off before I go back to the dorm. I’ll see you guys later.”

Without waiting for a response, Remus walked off in the direction of the Astronomy Tower, mulling everything over. He summoned the Halloween clothes he’d laid out on his bed before dinner. They were nothing special, just a pair of black jeans and a loose black jumper.

He quickly got changed, and even though he tried to fight it, his thoughts kept drifting to Sirius. He sat down at the ledge of the Tower, where you got a completely clear view of a large portion of the Black Lake. There were no protections here, no bannisters or handrails to hold if he fell, but Remus had always loved this spot. Whenever he needed time to himself, this was his ideal place to sit and think.

_“If you haven’t figured it out by now, you probably won’t ever.”_

What the hell was that supposed to mean?! There was nothing to figure out! Sirius was just overreacting over nothing. And if he wasn’t jealous of Annalise, then what was wrong?

Remus had thought they were done fighting, done hiding how they were feeling to each other. Everything had been resolved last year. Everything had been forgiven. Remus absentmindedly traced the scars on his face, specifically the thickest one that cut across his nose.

He’d gotten the scars that night. And he knew that Sirius couldn’t look at him properly for the last month of school without feeling sick with guilt. Even if he hadn’t had the scars, he knew Sirius would’ve still felt like that. Was that what all of this was about? He was still angry at himself for the prank and he was just finding an excuse to lash out?

“Mr Lupin, I thought I might find you here.” A voice called. Remus jumped and quickly stood. He had never been caught up here by a teacher before. And yet there was McGonnagall, looking at him like she knew exactly what he was thinking.

“Sorry, Professor, I know I shouldn’t be up here. I’ll go.” Remus said quickly, gathering up his things and making towards the stairs. McGonnagall stepped in front of him to block his way and Remus frowned.

“The problem with the corridors in this school is that things tend to echo. The staff heard you and Mr Black’s little dispute outside the Great Hall.” She said.

Remus winced and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry Professor-”

“Don’t apologize, Remus, there’s no need.” McGonnagall interrupted. “Sirius is a very emotional person. You know that better than anyone. But I know you _both_ better than you realize.”

“I-I’m not sure I understand, Professor,” Remus said with a frown.

“I think it’s clear to everyone who looks close enough to know that you care about each other a lot more than you let on. You shouldn’t be so worried about how others will take it. Now, come on, it’s only right that all four of you show your faces together, otherwise people will think you’re up to something.” McGonnagall encouraged.

The two of them walked down the stairs that winded their way up the Tower and walked towards the Great Hall. At the corner before the Hall, Remus’ friends were waiting. His chest constricted as he saw Sirius, desperately hoping that things wouldn’t now be awkward.

Upon seeing him, James, Sirius, and Peter visibly relaxed. Sirius was also wearing all black. A long-sleeved black t-shirt, skinny black jeans, Doc Martens and a leather jacket. James and Peter were both in a mix and match of black and blue. they hadn’t even tried to co-ordinate with each other, but somehow they were just all in tune with what the others were wearing that they subconsciously tried to match each other.

“Moony-” Sirius started. Remus interrupted him by walking closer and hugging him tightly.

He didn’t know what McGonnagall had meant while talking to him in the Astronomy Tower, but he wasn’t frustrated with Sirius anymore. It had been a long day, and he didn’t want to fight anymore.

“It’s fine, let’s just forget about it and enjoy tonight,” Remus said. He felt Sirius breathe out in relief.

“I like the sound of that, Moony. Let’s go show them what we’re made of.” Sirius replied softly. They pulled away and rounded the corner as a group and all wore matching smirks as they entered, knowing that the fun had only just begun.


	5. Do you feel the same?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final part of the prank is underway, and Remus is hit with some startling news from Annalise

The four Marauders were laughing together near the wall of the Great Hall and trying to sneakily pass a bottle of firewhiskey between them. Sirius and Peter were stood against the wall, while Remus and James were stood opposite them to try to hide the bottle.  
  
It was no use, as many of the teachers had already disapprovingly sent them glares from the front of the room, which was why they’d moved to the shadows in the first place.  
  
“Who the hell dances at a Halloween party?! It’s not a soiree!” Sirius complained, watching the large crowd in the center of the room.   
  
“And how would you know, Padfoot? It’s not like you ever paid attention at the soirees you were forced to attend.” Peter said. Sirius shrugged as if to say ‘so what if I didn’t’ and smirked at his friends.   
  
“What’s the time?” he asked Remus, who checked his watch.   
  
“Twenty-five minutes to go,” Remus told them. When his eyes flicked up again, Sirius’ face had turned sour. “What are you looking at me like that for?”   
  
“Not you. We have company.” Peter said, a hint of anxiety in his voice. James and Remus turned, giving Peter a chance to hide the bottle of firewhiskey down the back of his jeans.   
  
“Haven’t you caused enough trouble with your little speech earlier, Michaels?” Sirius spat. He had stepped up beside Remus while Peter had moved to stand with James.   
  
Annalise and Lily had gotten changed into tight knee-length dresses, with Lily in dark green and Annalise in red, their dresses complimenting their complexions as a ginger and a brunette respectively. Both were wearing makeup and Annalise had curled her hair, while Lily had straightened hers.  
  
A lot of the other boys were staring at them, mouths open slightly. Annalise faked a smile in Sirius’ direction.  
  
“The same could be said of all the little pranks you four pull.” She retorted.   
  
“Look, we didn’t come here to argue,” Lily said. “We just wanted to ask Remus and James for a dance. According to some of the other girls, McGonnagall thinks it’s a good idea that we have a little tradition and have a slow dance at least once tonight. And it’d be good if the Prefects are in the crowd and the Marauders are split up. People won’t get so antsy that you’re all over here drinking and plotting away.”   
  
“You could’ve at least brought a few friends over for me and Pete. How _ever_ will we cope without this amazing slow dance.” Sirius said sarcastically.  
  
“I didn’t think your ego needed the boost, Black,” Annalise said. “Besides, since you seem to think you’re some kind of ladies’ man, I don’t think you’ll find it hard.” She extended a hand to Remus, who went red.   
  
“I – uh – I don’t know how to slow dance.” He said sheepishly.   
  
“You’re a fast learner. Just follow my lead, you’ll pick it up in no time.” Annalise said, a flirty smile spreading across her face. Remus hesitated and looked to Sirius, hoping that Sirius could read the question in his eyes. _I don’t know how to say no. If I say yes; will you be angry again?_

  
Sirius gave him a smile that seemed more like a grimace, and then just jerked his head minutely in Annalise’s direction. All was forgiven, and Sirius, with any luck, would not be getting annoyed again tonight. Remus linked arms with Annalise as James linked arms with Lily and the four of them walked to the dance floor.   
  
“Save a dance for me, Moony!” Sirius called and Remus looked over his shoulder to see him pretending to swoon. Remus just laughed and held his middle finger up in Sirius’ direction, hearing matching laughter as Peter and Sirius watched Remus walk away.  
  
Annalise led them right into the center of the crowd, Lily and James not that far away, just as the slow music began to drift through the Hall and people began to partner up. James was winking at him as if trying to encourage him to make a move on Annalise.

 _Don't be ridiculous, he knows about your feelings for Sirius ... he wouldn't suggest you dating Annalise._  
  
There were a few looks from people around them, some of them shocked, some of them disappointed.

Remus knew that a lot of people chased after Annalise, so seeing Remus dance with her was a clear marker to them that maybe the Prefects had more than just friendship between them.  
  
Which wasn’t the case, of course. The thought of dating Annalise gave him an uncomfortable feeling of wanting to run and never look back.   
  
Remus knew that McGonnagall was frowning at him from where she and Dumbledore were dancing, less than fifteen feet away. He did his best not to catch her gaze.  
  
“You have two left feet, you know, Remus.” Annalise chuckled as they started to dance, trying to guide him so he wouldn’t keep stepping on her toes, which were fortunately in closed-toe heels.  
  
She’d initially put his hand at her waist when they’d started dancing but he’d felt so uncomfortable that he’d been careful to gently move it to her back instead.   
  
“Yeah, I know.” Remus chuckled awkwardly. Remus had slow danced before, in primary school. His mother had taught him. But it had been so long ago now, about ten years, that he’d completely forgotten what he was doing.   
  
Annalise was making him nervous. She kept looking up at him through her lashes, smiling flirtatiously, trying to press closer to Remus. He was ashamed to admit that he’d managed to stop her from getting so close by ‘accidentally’ standing on her toes repeatedly.  
  
“Remus … I wanted to speak to you about something.” Annalise said cautiously. Remus tilted his head slightly in confusion. “Well, two things, actually, but they’re related. Firstly, I don’t know if you, James and Peter have heard, but there’s a rumor about Sirius-”  
  
“There’s _always_ a rumor about Sirius.” Remus laughed.   
  
“Yes, but this one is different,” Annalise said. “A few people have been saying that Sirius tries to come off as a ladies’ man is because he’s trying to hide the fact that he’s … you know … _gay_.” Annalise whispered the last part. Remus’ heart stopped and his chest constricted.

 _Sirius couldn't be gay, could he? He – he would’ve said something to someone. One of us. He trusts us._  
  
“What?! We – we _are_ talking about the same Sirius, right? Sirius Black, who I can guarantee without even looking at him is currently trying to encourage Pete to talk to Melanie Williams because he’s had a crush on her since first year.”  
  
Annalise frowned and looked over at Sirius. Remus did the same and saw that he was right. Sirius was poking Peter, nudging him towards a group of girls, one of which was Mel Williams.   
  
“Okay, that’s scary how you know that,” Annalise said absentmindedly. She focused on Remus again. “I just wanted to let you know. People think that it’s because of how close he is with you and the others. He’s always lounging against you three. He’s not had a girlfriend for longer than two weeks, but apparently, he’s constantly getting off with them in secret passageways that he discovered with you three, but he’s never seen with any of them.”   
  
“Is that all you wanted to say? Because you’re sounding awfully accusatory. Sirius is one of my best friends and I don’t appreciate the gossiping. We discourage the younger years from doing it, you should know better than to indulge in it.” Remus said, letting go of Annalise and stepping back.

He needed to get back to Sirius and Pete now. He had to ask Sirius if it was true.   
  
“No. It’s not exactly a secret that I’ve been trying to flirt with you for weeks. I like you, Remus.” Annalise admitted.   
  
_Oh, you are in such shit, Remus. You idiot! You should have just left while you had the chance! Why did you even carry on talking?!_  
  
“And I’ve been hoping that you’d make the first move because you’re usually quite the gentleman, but you haven’t. As far as I know, you’ve never seemed to have a girlfriend, so I thought that maybe that was the reason, that you were just shy or didn’t know how to go about it. So I decided to try and make a move myself, which is why I asked you to dance.” Annalise confessed.   
  
She took a deep breath and seemed to prepare herself up for something and then leaned up, clearly trying to kiss him. Remus’ instincts took over and he leaned away.   
  
“I – I’m sorry, but I … I have to go.” Remus stuttered. He muttered another apology and turned to face the doors to the Great Hall, rounding the corner before stopping and pacing, dragging hands through his hair and leaning his forearms on the wall, nestling his head on top of them and closing his eyes.   
  
His chest was unbelievably tight and he felt like he was slowly suffocating. His foot was tapping rapidly on the ground and his breath was shaky.   
  
He knew he was having a panic attack. It had been a few weeks since he’d last had one, and the longer he went between the attacks meant that they were more likely to hit him harder, more likely to take his breath away even more, his body having almost forgotten the feeling.   
  
It took a few seconds before he realized that someone was grabbing his shoulder and guiding him to the floor. Sirius was knelt by his knees and was cupping his face gently, trying to regain Remus’ focus, trying to ground him by helping him to feel something real.  
  
Remus placed his hands over Sirius’, feeling the roughness of his knuckles, the soft skin of his slender fingers, and they spent a few minutes just breathing in time with each other before Remus leaned away.   
  
He stared straight ahead of him at the opposite wall and told Sirius everything Annalise had said. For once, there were no interruptions on Sirius’ part. When Remus was done, he looked at Sirius for the first time since he began talking. He was trembling slightly, afraid of what he would see on Sirius’ face.   
  
“Is it true, Pads?” he asked.   
  
“What part?”   
  
“Are you gay?” Remus asked quietly. Sirius didn’t answer for a few seconds.   
  
“Yes.” He finally responded.   
  
Remus’ head began to pound with the beginnings of a headache.   
  
_Sirius is gay. You have a chance, Remus. You have to take it. You have to take it_ now. _If you don’t, you’ll have no right to complain when some other bloke takes his fancy. You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t risk it._  
  
“Rem?” Sirius asked softly. Remus focused on Sirius again to see the vulnerability and fear in Sirius’ familiar grey eyes. “What-”  
  
He was cut off by Remus throwing himself forward, only just managing to gather his knees beneath him as he cupped Sirius’ face and kissed him soundly, fingers sinking into Sirius’ silky hair.  
  
Sirius’ lips were soft. And slightly chapped from where he anxiously bit at them sometimes. But Remus didn't mind it, his head was spinning and heart jack-rabbiting in his chest, so hard that he was convinced Sirius would be able to hear it.   
  
He was so focused on the feeling of Sirius’ lips that it took a few moments for him to realize that Sirius was kissing back, holding Remus by the shoulders, gripping his jumper tightly, as if he was the one that now needed grounding.   
  
Remus was the first to pull back, leaning his forehead against Sirius’. They were both breathing heavily, still holding each other.   
  
“You too, huh?” Sirius asked finally, his voice hoarse, letting go of Remus, seemingly reluctant. Remus did the same, leaning against the wall again.  
  
“Huh?” Remus replied, his brain short-circuiting. _Sirius kissed back. He kissed back. He feels the same. He wants me too._

Sirius laughed, “So … you’re gay too?” he specified quietly. Remus nodded. “How long have you known?” 

“Since last year,” Remus said. Sirius gaped. “I was in denial. I didn’t want to think about it. But James-”

“James knew before me?!” Sirius exclaimed. Remus shushed him and they giggled, sending apprehensive glances down the corridor. 

“He figured out that I – I had a crush on you and confronted me about it. I think deep down, I knew I was from as early as third year.” Remus admitted. He was conscious of where they were, knowing that anyone could be round the corner. He did his best to keep his voice quiet. Sirius grinned. “What about you?”  
  
“The same. James noticed the same from me, told me that I should get on with and say something to you, said that I was being a wimp by not telling you.” Remus chuckled at that.   
  
Just then, footsteps sounded on the stone floor and Sirius moved back slightly as Remus adjusted his jumper. The material at his shoulder had bunched up, leaving a strip of his back exposed from where Sirius had gripped it and caused it to ride up.   
  
“ _Merlin_ , there you are! We’ve been searching for you for the last ten minutes!” James panted. Peter was a few feet behind him, wheezing slightly, his hands on his knees. “Are you forgetting that we still have the toads to unleash?”  
  
Sirius and Remus cursed impressively as they climbed to their feet and the four of them ran back to the Great Hall. The spread out through the crowd, with James and Sirius near the front of the crowd, but still hidden from the teachers, and Remus and Peter towards the back.  
  
When the clock tower in the courtyard sounded midnight, all four Marauders counted each ring of the bell until, on the twelfth one, they muttered their needed charm under their breath, keeping their eyes on the four identical boxes, designed to look like pumpkins. The lids to the boxes flipped open and the boxes tipped over, frogs spilling out into the crowd.   
  
Screams began to sound and the Marauders moved with the crowd as people began to move to the walls, away from the approaching toads. Remus and Sirius ended up beside each other against one wall, with Peter and James at the other, sharing matching grins.   
  
Remus and Sirius looked at each other and those grins faded into shy smiles, remembering what had been happening just before they entered the Hall, contented in the knowledge that the other felt the exact same at that moment.


	6. Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the Halloween prank turns into something Sirius and Remus could never have expected.

The teachers were immediately making their way into the center of the room, swishing their wands and guiding frogs back into boxes and levitating them back towards the dais, putting them behind Dumbledore’s chair.  
  
“You are all welcome to make the best out of the final half an hour of our Halloween party, but I do encourage you all to get some sleep relatively soon. The first, second, and third years are all back in their dormitories, so please be careful not to wake them once you decide to return. Tomorrow's morning lessons will be canceled and you will return to normal in the afternoon to recover from the … excitement of this evening.” Dumbledore announced.   
  
A few of the teachers, including Dumbledore, decided to take their leave, with McGonnagall, Flitwick, Slughorn and Sprout staying behind.   
  
“Come on, lads, let’s get back to the Tower,” Remus said.   
  
“I think I might stay,” James replied softly, looking over at Lily, who was chatting quietly with Annalise, who looked miserable.   
  
“Yeah, me too,” Peter said, smiling and blushing as Melanie Williams waved at him shyly.   
  
“I’ll come back with you, Rem,” Sirius said casually. “It’s a bit boring now that people are leaving.”   
  
“See you two in the morning. Don’t have too much fun.” Remus teased.   
  
He and Sirius walked in silence to the Gryffindor Tower, content in each other’s company. Sirius uttered the password to the Fat Lady, and once they were in the dormitory, the familiarity and comfort that they’d had while walking back were replaced with tension.   
Sirius was rummaging through his trunk for his pyjamas, which was between James and Remus’ beds, with Peter’s on the other side of James’.   
  
Remus grabbed his pyjamas from under his pillow and went to get changed in the bathroom. When he returned, Sirius was in the process of pulling his shirt over his head. Remus blushed and climbed into bed laying on his back, waiting for Sirius to be done getting changed before he turned out the lights.   
  
He heard Sirius’ sheets rustle and flicked his wand towards the lights, which promptly went out as Remus placed his wand back on his bedside table.   
  
“Remus?” Sirius whispered.   
  
“Yeah?” Remus whispered back as he gently pulled the curtain that would obscure Sirius’ bed from him closed.   
  
“Can I sleep with you in your bed tonight?” Sirius asked. This wasn’t an unusual request. Sirius’ nightmares often meant that he crawled into James or Remus’ beds.   
  
“Of course you can,” Remus said, pulling back the covers as Sirius switched beds, maneuvering around the curtain and settling under the sheets. As per usual, Sirius was freezing. Remus leaned over the side of his bed and pulled out the fluffy throw blanket that he always kept specifically for the nights where Sirius climbed into his bed.

Sirius took it gratefully, wrapping himself in it and settling on his side as Remus closed the remaining open curtain around his bed.  
  
The two very rarely slept facing each other, often on their backs. But tonight was different.   
  
“What did it mean?” Remus asked eventually.   
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“You know what I mean, Sirius.”   
  
“It meant what kisses always mean. That I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time.” Sirius admitted. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time, and I don’t want to stop kissing you.”   
  
Remus was smiling, his cheeks feeling hot suddenly.   
  
“I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time as well. It felt nice … to finally be able to.” Remus told him. Sirius reached out and touched Remus’ cheek gently, tracing the now silver scars slicing their way across Remus’ face.   
  
“So what? Do – do we … I don’t know … just see how things go? What are we supposed to do now?” Sirius asked. Remus laughed softly.   
  
“I believe there’s some level of courting involved. Dates and flirting. Shy kisses and blushing. That’s usually how these things start, isn’t it?”   
  
“I wouldn’t know. For all my flirting, I’ve never really had a proper relationship with all that stuff.” Sirius told him.   
  
“Neither have I,” Remus said. “Do you … want to try?” he could just about see the outline of Sirius’ head nodding.   
  
“So … next weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend. We could go to the Three Broomsticks for a drink?” Sirius suggested. The Marauders very rarely went to drink at the Broomsticks. Mainly, they went to one of the smaller taverns, The Hollyhead, and checked out the things they had bought from Zonko’s joke shop, figuring out how they could use them to spite the Slytherins. That way, they were less likely to be overheard.   
  
“How would we get away from James and Peter though? It won’t be much of a date if those two are tagging along.”   
  
“I read James’ lips while he and Lily were dancing earlier. He’s managed to score a date with her. They’re having a dinner date at the Quidditch pitch and Peter is having a study date with Mel.” Sirius said. Remus smiled shyly.   
  
“Okay, well, then I guess we have a date this weekend,” Remus replied, unable to keep the happiness out of his voice. He could vaguely see Sirius smiling just as brightly.   
  
"Good night, Remus," Sirius whispered.  
  
“Goodnight, Sirius,” Remus whispered back.  
  
~  
  
The following weekend came impossibly slowly. Both Sirius and Remus were unbelievably nervous, though neither would admit it.   
  
“So,” James started, settling onto the bench opposite Remus, sitting beside Sirius. Peter was nowhere to be seen. He was always late to breakfast, preferring five extra minutes of sleep. “You haven’t mentioned your little dance with Anna the other night.” Remus saw Sirius grip his cutlery a little tighter and he seemed to chew his bacon a little more violently as if it were the only thing forcing him from clenching his jaw in anger.   
  
“Since when have you been calling her Anna as well? I thought you didn’t like her.” Remus said, flicking through the Daily Prophet.   
  
“Since I started hanging out with her and Lily.”  
  
“Ooh, two girls at once. Nicely done, James, you’re giving Sirius a run for his money,” Remus joked. He and Sirius smirked at each other, some of the tension leaving Sirius’ shoulders.  
  
“I can see why you get along with her.” James shrugged. “So … what’s happening on that front? Anna hasn’t mentioned it and neither have you. Are you two … I don’t know, are you going to ask her out on a date or something?”   
  
“No, James, I’m not going to ask her out on a date,” Remus said, pretending to be interested in an article about Quidditch.   
  
“Come on, Remus! Why not?” Remus just looked up at James with a raised eyebrow.   
  
“Because she’s my friend and my fellow Prefect. It’s unprofessional, and I don’t have an interest in her in that way.” Remus replied. “Now, I’d like to carry on with my breakfast instead of being interrogated, thank you.”   
  
James shut up then and only spoke when Peter dropped himself into the empty space next to Remus. Most Gryffindors always left enough space for all four of them to sit together, which made the fight for spaces during meals a lot easier.   
  
Remus glanced up at Sirius and gave him a brief, reassuring smile, and got a matching one in return that made his heart melt.  
  
~  
  
When Saturday finally rolled around, Remus and Sirius tried to act as casual as possible to deflect James and Peter.  
  
“If you guys are sure about going on your own, then I suppose it could do us some good. Maybe people will think we’re up to something. When they’re proven wrong, we can think of something new. If you guys are going to Zonko’s, could you grab some itching powder? I’ll pay you back. I have a prank for Snivellus planned” James said. All four Marauders were doing the same thing, picking out nice clothes for their respective dates.   
  
“Sure thing. We’ll see you later, Jamie. Enjoy your study date, Petey.” Sirius said, pulling his leather jacket on and looking at Remus.   
  
“Ready?” Remus nodded and chucked a goodbye over his shoulder at James and Pete as he and Sirius left the dormitory.   
  
The two of them spoke about the Charms homework they had as they made their way through the castle and into Hogsmeade.   
  
Remus had never felt so nervous in his life, and that feeling only got stronger as they reached The Three Broomsticks. Just as he was about to open the door of the pub, Sirius put a hand on his arm and pulled him back.   
  
“Sirius, what-” Sirius was dragging him in the opposite direction to the Broomsticks and was instead leading him towards The Hollyhead. “Sirius!”  
  
“Just trust me, Rem!”   
  
So Remus followed, Sirius no longer had a hand on Remus’ arm and it was only once they’d burst through the doors of The Hollyhead and settled in a booth, sat opposite each other, did Sirius finally talk.  
  
“Annalise, James, and Lily were in there.” He said.   
  
“I thought James and Lily were having their date at the Quidditch pitch. How did they beat us down there?!” Remus replied, confused.  
  
“I don't know! They must've taken a shortcut. When I asked James the other day, he said he had a date with Lily, but he didn’t say anything about Annalise going with them.”   
  
Remus breathed out slowly. That was a close call. James and Peter thought they were in the Hollyhead having a drink and talking about their new buys from Zonko's. But it was okay ... they hadn't seen Remus and Sirius.  
  
“Well, we can just have our date here, can’t we? It’s nice and quiet, students barely pay attention to this pub.” Remus suggested. Sirius smiled.  
  
“Yeah, we can have our date here. But I have something else planned later, so hopefully, that won’t be ruined.”   
  
“Nothing’s been ruined, Pads. I don’t mind where we spend time, just that we spend it together.” Remus admitted with a blush. Sirius laughed.   
  
“Your flirting is a whole lot more romantic than mine is,” Sirius said. Remus blushed harder and shrugged. It was true, Remus didn’t mind where he spent this date with Sirius, he was just happy to have a date with him at all.  
  
~  
  
“Okay, you can open your eyes,” Sirius said. Remus opened his eyes and gaped. Sirius had been holding his hand to guide him with closed eyes, so he was already bright red and smiling. Sirius’ hand was soft, larger than Remus’, and warm. But this was something else. He let go of Sirius’ hand and looked around.   
  
The tree that the Marauders usually sat under on hot summer days was decked out with glowing shards of magic, smaller than the palm of Remus’ hands and littered among the leaves, making the whole area glow with a golden hue. On the floor, Sirius had laid out the soft blanket from under Remus’ bed.   
  
“I thought it’d be nice to watch the sun go down from here. It’s started to get darker quicker now that it’s November, so we can still be back with plenty of time for dinner so the others don’t get suspicious.” Sirus said. “I know it’s a bit cheesy, but –” Sirius was cut off by Remus launching himself into Sirius’ arms.   
  
“It’s beautiful, Sirius,” Remus said, pulling away to look around again in wonder.   
  
“I’m glad you like it,” Sirius said, beaming. He took Remus’ hand and led him over to sit down on the blanket. 

~  
  
“I’ve never really thought that hard on how pretty it is here,” Sirius commented.   
  
“It’s one of my favorite places on the whole school grounds,” Remus admitted. Sirius smiled and then glanced at Remus. For the first time, he seemed as nervous as Remus felt.  
  
“I – um … I don’t know how dates work. Not really. I’ve heard people talk about them, but I only ever wanted to go on dates with you, so I’ve never really experienced it. I don’t know what the protocol is, whether I’m allowed to kiss you yet or not, but I’d like to.” Sirius said. Remus chuckled.  
  
“Sirius, if you want to kiss me, you’re more than welcome to. I’d like to kiss you as well.” Remus replied. They both looked at each other, nervous and shy, and laughed at themselves and their awkwardness.   
  
What were they so nervous about?! They were best friends, they shared everything. And yet, somehow, sharing the sunset in November as just two of them, as opposed to doing this with James and Peter in June and July, was something new and special, something they had experienced for the first time together. This … whatever this was … It was just an extension of what they already had.   
  
As their laughter simmered, Sirius, still smiling widely, sat closer and leaned in, one arm coming to rest around Remus’ neck, fingers tangling in the soft, wavy hair at the nape of Remus’ neck, and Remus could feel goosebumps rise along his arms and felt the hair stand up on his neck and arms, his senses lighting up as he could focus on the feeling of Sirius here and now, without the shadow of a panic attack looming over them.   
  
When they pulled back, about ten seconds later, they leaned their foreheads together, the same as they had done on Halloween night, and were just content to be in each other’s presence.   
  
“As much as I’m enjoying just being here with you, we should head back. It’s dinner time and James and Pete will send out a search party if we aren’t there.” Remus chuckled lowly at that, knowing that it was likely true. They reluctantly stood and Sirius waved his wand, the blanket whizzing off towards the Gryffindor Tower and the lights fading into nothing.   
  
“I wish I could hold your hand on the way back,” Remus admitted.  
  
“Why can’t we?” Sirius asked, extending a hand.   
  
“Sirius, there are already rumors about you being gay, what about when people see us holding hands? Do you really think that people will take it well? We still have two years left here, we can’t deal with that kind of backlash before we’ve left school. It could impact life after we leave and I’m already less likely to get a job because of my … circumstances once a month.” Remus said.   
  
“It’s alright, Rem. My uncle Alphard … he died over the summer. He was the only one in my family that didn’t hate me. Apart from Andromeda, maybe, but she was disowned and blasted off the tapestry ages ago. I haven’t seen her in years. But Alphard … he left me everything he had in his will. I’d be able to support us. We’d be okay, Rem.” Sirius said. Remus sighed.   
  
“I – let’s just focus on us right now, yeah? I’d like to have another date with you.” Remus was trying to draw Sirius’ attention away from the idea of ‘supporting’ Remus financially.   
  
“Does this mean we’re dating? Now that we’re going on proper dates and stuff?” Sirius asked curiously. Remus laughed.   
  
“It depends. Do you want us to be dating?” Sirius nodded enthusiastically. “Well … then I guess we’re dating.” They both grinned stupidly at each other, leaning in once more and sharing a soft kiss before beginning the trek back to the castle, brushing fingers all the way to the entrance, where they promptly moved a little further apart, both of them already missing the comfort and the warmth of being close.   
  
But for now … the knowledge of the nature of their relationship was a secret for just the two of them … it would do. 


	7. The Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Multiple people find out the nature of Sirius and Remus' relationship.

“Alright, what the fuck is going on with you two?” James exclaimed suddenly.   
  
They were lounging on the sofas and armchairs in the common room, Sirius with his feet on Remus’ lap, which wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, and an arm cradling the back of his neck, Remus had his feet propped up on the small coffee table with his head stuck in a book. James had his legs slung over one arm of his armchair, leaned back against the other.   
  
Pete was on the floor, quill tickling his lip and brows furrowed as he struggled through his Potions homework. Sirius had been trying to sneakily poke Remus’ face with his sock-covered foot for the last ten minutes, with Remus swatting every now and then as he felt Sirius’ foot moving, unable to stop himself from grinning.   
  
They’d been dating for a month already. And it was going fantastically. They were careful around other people, not daring to do anything they wouldn’t have done as friends. But that hadn’t stopped them from sneaking into secret passageways during free periods and getting well acquainted with how to make the other melt like putty in each other’s hands. It had mostly been kissing so far, neither of them ready to cross the boundary just yet.   
  
At James’ comment, both looked up, then at each other in mock confusion.   
  
“What do you mean, Jamie?” Sirius asked.

“Don’t try that trick on me, Black,” James said. “That’s our thing, pretending to be confused about a question that we know the answer to. What is going on with you two? You’ve been acting weird for ages. You keep smiling at each other all weird, and you’re just …” James let his sentence trail off, clearly hoping that Remus and Sirius would understand what he meant.   
  
“Just what?” Remus laughed. “I didn’t realize smiling at a friend was suddenly a criminal offense.”   
  
James was frowning. Pete was still immersed in his homework, not even paying attention to the conversation happening around him.   
  
“You’ve just been acting differently. You’ve been lounging about on each other more than usual, and this morning wasn’t the first time I threw open Moony’s bed curtains to find you two sharing it.” James said quietly, watching the other students around them for eavesdroppers.   
  
“I get nightmares, James, you know that. I’ve come to you some nights. Other nights, I go to Remus, it doesn’t mean there’s something going on.” Sirius reminded him, taking his feet off of Remus and sitting up.   
  
“You haven’t had nightmares in a month, Sirius! You always make a racket when you have one, it wakes us all up because we're so used to being awake to be there for you. You have at least two a week normally, it’s the way it’s been for the last six years, but now all of sudden they’ve stopped. What a coincidence that you’ve been falling asleep together for what I’m assuming is the last month.” James hissed.   
  
Sirius stood and stormed off, heading to the dormitory.   
  
“Wait, what’s going on?” Peter asked, finally looking up.   
  
“Nothing, Pete.” Remus sighed, returning the scrap piece of parchment that he was using as a bookmark to the page he was currently on before walking after Sirius, taking the steps two at a time.   
  
Sirius was on Remus’ bed, fumbling around in his pockets for his packet of cigarettes. He’d taken smoking up recently. He’d been stressed about Regulus, who had apparently gotten in with a group of brutal fifth year Slytherins, a few weeks ago, and some Muggle-born Ravenclaw had offered him one, then showed him how to smoke it and gave him two packets for a Galleon.   
  
“Sirius, I care about you, but not enough to excuse cigarette ash on my bed. The house-elves will have their work cut out for them trying to get the smell out of the sheets.” Remus said, leaning against his bedpost.   
  
Sirius stood and went over to the window ledge, tapping one of the upper windows to open it and igniting his cigarette, taking a few drags before speaking.   
  
“Have we overplayed our hand? Made this … us … too obvious?” Sirius asked quietly.   
  
“I don’t know. I think he’s noticed because he knows us well. But maybe it’s time to tell him and Peter.” Remus replied.   
  
Sirius took a long drag from his cigarette and then flicked it out of the window, suddenly deciding that he didn’t want it anymore. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Remus, burying his face in Remus’ shoulder and breathing deeply. Remus held him back tightly.

“How do you think he’ll take it?” Sirius muttered.   
  
“I don’t know. He and Pete are our best friends, he’s bound to care about us just the same. He loves us like family. He wouldn’t throw away six years of friendship just because two of his best friends are dating.” Remus responded.   
  
“So that’s what it is.” A voice said from behind them. Sirius and Remus jumped apart, both backing away and looking towards the door. James and Peter stood in the doorway. “You’re dating?”   
  
Sirius and Remus looked at each other with twin looks of anxiety before turning back to James and Peter and hesitantly nodding.

“How long?” James asked.   
  
“Only a month. Jamie –” Sirius started.   
  
“You couldn’t even tell me you were _gay_ , let alone dating each other,” James said. “Pete, did you know about this?” Peter shook his head, still clearly trying to wrap his head around the situation.  
  
“James, you confronted both of us about how Remus and I felt for each other.” Sirius protested.

“But I didn’t think it was anything other than curious exploration. I didn’t think you two actually fancied each other like that! I genuinely thought Remus was interested in Annalise! She still thinks you’re interested, but not ready to do anything about it yet.” James exclaimed.

“James, you’re our best friend. We were going to tell you, but we wanted to get used to going from friends to dating before we said anything.” Remus said. He could feel his knees trembling slightly. The confused haze from James’ eyes began to clear.   
  
“I – I guess that makes sense.” He said. “I’m sorry, I was just … shocked. You best not be all over each other now that all that tension is gone.”

“What, like you and Lily?” Remus asked.

“Maybe we should get revenge for that time we found them making out partially undressed on my bed,” Sirius suggested.

“Hey! I was too focused on kissing her, I went in the general direction of my bed and we accidentally stumbled upon yours instead.” James said sheepishly, throwing himself onto his bed. Pete was grinning at them as he sprawled out on his bed.

All was right with their friends, and Sirius and Remus shared a bright smile, relief flittering across their features.   
  
~   
  
Remus yawned as he walked into the Prefect bathrooms. It had been a long shift, and all he wanted to do was get back to Sirius.

It was nearing eleven p.m. but he couldn’t wait until tomorrow for a shower. He liked waking up beside him, liked huddling together for warmth in the mornings.   
  
Sirius would likely complain when he crawled into bed that he’d been gone for too long, that the cold air through the castle had cooled his body temperature too much.

Two weeks had gone by since James and Peter had found out about their relationship, and Christmas was approaching fast. Sirius had been hesitant on whether or not he wanted to stay at Hogwarts or go back to the Potters’. He was so unused to having people wanting him around that it startled him sometimes.

Remus shed his clothes quickly, desperate to get into the hot water and cover his scars. Even though there was no one in here, he had never managed to shake the gut-wrenching fear of people seeing the marks all over his body. Some of them were silvery and faded, barely visible after so many years, but others were more prominent and were very clearly made by something very strong and very large.

There was a small underwater ledge all around the edges of the huge baths and Remus sat on one for a few moments, feeling the cold ache in his bones recede and be replaced by warmth. He sighed and brushed his hands through his hair to keep it from falling in front of his eyes.

“You know, you should really get a haircut instead of just brushing it back all the time.” A voice called. Remus yelped and delved further into the water, using the bubbles towards the center of the tub to cover himself, looking around the room frantically, trying to discern where the voice was coming from. “But then again, I could see you with hair long enough to brush back properly. It’s a nice look.”

Remus only relaxed a little when he saw Annalise reveal herself, covered in a towel, and lowering herself to sit on the edge of the bath, dunking her feet into the soapy water.   
  
“Anna, you scared me. Why didn’t you call out to let me know you were here?” Remus said, trying to offer a relaxed smile and a friendly tone, despite his thumping heart that was still recovering from the shock.   
  
“Look away while I get in, Rem,” Annalise said. Remus turned away from her.   
  
“You shouldn’t call me that, you know,” Remus said.   
  
“What, Rem?” Remus nodded and heard the faint splash of water as Annalise dropped into the water. “You can turn around now.” Remus turned. The bubbles were high enough to thankfully cover everything on both Annalise and Remus’ parts.

“Why shouldn’t I call you Rem?”

“Sirius will find out. He can get quite protective over the nicknames he has for his friends. Did you hear what he did to Marie Cavanaugh when she called me Moony?” Remus asked. Annalise pondered.

“I know that she got hexed by someone a few years ago, but the person who inflicted the hex differed between who was telling the story. No one was actually there to see it, they just know it happened, but Marie never told anyone who it was.” Annalise told him. “That’s quite a silly thing to get caught up over, don’t you think? It’s just a nickname.”

“They mean a lot to us. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs … they’re all based on inside jokes. Sirius calls James ‘Jamie’ and calls me ‘Rem’. James hates being called Jamie by anyone other than Sirius. We’ve all been close from the moment we started Hogwarts, so they all come from a level of familiarity. Someone else calling us those things feels like invalidating years of trust and frienship.”   
Annalise was swimming closer and when she was within a few feet, she stopped, head tilted slightly. “What are you staring at?” Remus asked.   
  
“I’m sorry if I was too forward at the Halloween party. We haven’t had many opportunities to talk. The Slytherins have been messing around and pulling out of shifts at the last minute, so the rotas have been all messy. But I meant what I said, you know. I really like you, Remus.” Annalise said softly.   
  
“Annalise, you didn’t scare me off-”   
  
“We can take this slower if you’d like. Go on a few dates first.” Annalise interrupted.   
  
“Anna!” Remus exclaimed. “I don’t want to take things slower with you. I want us to be friends. We _are_ friends and I want it to stay that way. I – I’m sorry, I don’t feel like that for you.” Remus said.   
  
Annalise bit her lip. “It’s Sirius, isn’t it?” She whispered. Remus frowned and tried to act confused. “Don’t lie to me, Remus. If you’re going to shoot down any opportunity of us being together, or even _trying_ , the least you can do is be honest with me. You’re in love with Sirius.”

“That’s none of your business,” Remus said, swimming back towards his heap of clothes.

"Why can't you _try_? Maybe you're just confused! We could really work, Remus!"

“Could you give me some privacy?” The sound of water displacing gave Remus the opportunity to quickly climb out of the bath and pull his clothes back on. “I’ll see you in classes, Annalise.” He said over his shoulder, speeding out of the Prefect bathrooms and almost sprinting back to the Gryffindor Tower, hoping that Annalise wouldn’t intercept him.

Upon reaching the dormitory, he changed as quickly and quietly as possible.   
  
“Rem?” a sleepy voice whispered.

"Hiya, Sirius. Why are you still up?" Remus whispered as he crept over to Sirius’ bed and slid under his covers. Sirius immediately moved closer, snuggling into his chest, their arms wrapping around each other.

“I was waiting for you. I find it hard to sleep without you now. What took you so long?”   
  
“I went for a quick bath. I didn’t fancy getting up earlier for a shower before breakfast tomorrow. I’d much rather stay in bed with you for an extra fifteen minutes. Annalise practically cornered me in the Prefect bathrooms.”

Almost at once, Remus knew this was the wrong thing to say. Sirius made a low, disapproving noise.

“What do you mean, she cornered you in the bathroom?” Sirius growled. Remus carded his fingers through Sirius' hair and felt him relax slightly.

“She apologized for scaring me off on Halloween, suggested we move slower, go on a few dates first. I told her I wasn’t interested and she guessed that I-” Remus started. The silence from Sirius was telling, he wanted Remus to continue, “I’m in love with you. I told her it wasn’t any of her business and left.”   
  
“You’re in love with me?” Sirius asked in a small voice. It was as if he couldn’t quite believe it and Remus knew that it was likely a big thing to Sirius, who hadn't received nearly enough love in his life. Remus kissed the top of his head.   
  
“How could I not be?” Remus asked.   
  
“That's a relief. I thought I was the only one. I’m in love with you too, Remus” Sirius said, and Remus could hear the smile in his voice.  
  
“And I’m in love with a good night’s sleep, so stop with the soppy bullshit and go to sleep!” Pete’s groggy voice grunted from the other side of the room. Sirius and Remus struggled to quieten their laughter.

"Sorry, Pete!" Remus called softly before him and Sirius settled again and drifted off into sleep in each other’s arms.


	8. The Christmas Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Marauders end up in Dumbledore's office as a scuffle breaks out during the annual Christmas party.

The annual Christmas party was another excuse for people to get dressed up and stay up late. Most students would be travelling home for the holidays within a day or two of the party, so it was their last chance for a ruckus with their friends.   
  
The teachers had been encouraging the idea of every student bringing a date, and if you were struggling to find one, the teachers would pair people up.   
  
The week and a half leading up to the dance were stressful for Sirius and Remus, with Sirius getting a lot of offers from random girls in the corridors.

It was hard to see Sirius have to declare some fake response each time, leaving some girl to be broken-hearted and Remus wishing that things could be different. He wished that he and Sirius could be more open about their relationship.   
  
Wizards were slightly more accepting of same-sex relationships, there had been one or two in the public eye in the last few years, but they were only a few years ahead of the Muggle world.

There were students from aristocratic families that often tried to perpetuate the myths that same-sex couples were inferior. And unfortunately, no one could argue with them without rumours spreading.   
  
“Remus, it isn’t fair-” Sirius complained, remaining curled up under the sheets in Remus’ bed. He’d fallen asleep there before dinner, leaving Remus to do his studying in the common room.  
  
“I know, Sirius, but people are going to ask questions if we don’t go,” Remus replied.   
  
“But once we’re there, people will expect us to have dates, which we don’t have. And they’ll expect us to stay for the whole night. I barely want to go down for an hour, let alone the entire evening!”   
  
“I know you don’t, but people will get equally as suspicious if we don’t turn up. Those rumours of you being gay are only getting more widespread, they’ll think you’re sneaking off with some bloke. I can get away with it, I’m well known for being a busy person. But you _can’t_ get away with it, Sirius.” Remus was worrying his lip as he rummaged through his trunk for his dress robes.  
  
“Are you ashamed of me?” Sirius asked suddenly. Remus stood and looked at him in disbelief.   
  
“What?”   
  
“Is that why we can’t go as each other’s dates this year? Because you’re ashamed?”   
  
“Do you really think that I’d be dating you in the first place if I was ashamed to be your boyfriend?” Remus asked.

Sirius was sitting now, staring down at his hands, which were playing with the loose threads in Remus’ bedsheets. He shrugged roughly, trying to remain nonchalant.   
  
“I don’t know.” He said. “I thought maybe you didn’t wanna be seen as some boy-toy. I don’t think of you that way, and I don’t want the attention from other people when I have you, but I don’t know how to get them to stop.”   
  
“Sirius, I don’t consider myself your boy-toy at all. And I’m not ashamed to be with you. I just … don’t know if I’m ready for everyone to know yet. We could get a lot of backlash.”   
  
“We’re not going to get backlash. No one would dare to mess with us.” Sirius dismissed.

Remus sighed. They’d had this conversation before and it never went any differently, so Remus just went back to looking for his dress robes.   
  
“Come on, get up, get your dress robes on. We’ll go down for an hour and then come back. That way, at least the whole night isn’t ruined.” Remus compromised.  
  
Sirius sighed and dragged himself out of Remus’ bed, going over to his own trunk and getting changed. 

~  
  
“Sirius, it’s too cold!” Remus exclaimed.   
  
“Heating spells exist,” Sirius said.

He dragged Remus further out into the castle grounds and they found a spot, Remus quickly flicking his wand to start heating the area. He and Sirius huddled together, looking up at the sky.   
  
“Look, Rem, there’s Sirius,” Sirius said softly, pointing up at a particularly visible star, part of the Canis Major constellation and the brightest star in the night sky.

It seemed like fate that Sirius had been named after it. It was as if his parents had known how much he would light up a room, how much attention he would capture.  
  
“Hogging all the attention, as per usual.” Remus teased and Sirius laughed, punching Remus’ shoulder before leaning in to place his head upon it.   
  
A few minutes later, Sirius lifted his head up and tilted Remus’ head towards him, leaning in and kissing him slowly.

Where Sirius had learned to kiss so well, Remus had no idea, but it never failed to make his head spin.   
  
When Remus felt Sirius start to push him onto his back, he pulled away. Sirius chased after him before stopping and opening his eyes, which were cloudy and dazed.   
  
“We should get back,” Remus said softly. The haze over Sirius’ eyes cleared slowly and Remus stood, helping Sirius to his feet, the two of them walking back to the castle hand in hand. When they reached the entrance, they let go of each other. “Let’s go tell James and Pete that we’re going back to the dorm.”  
  
“But-”  
  
“I know, I know, but I promise that we won’t stay any longer than that,” Remus assured. Sirius sighed and shook his head, smiling fondly at Remus.  
  
“The things I’m willing to do for you.” He said. Remus rolled his eyes and they walked into the Great Hall, scanning the crowd for James and Peter.   
  
“I found Pete,” Sirius said, nudging Remus and pointing to Peter, who was chatting with Mel Williams over by the refreshments table. 

“There’s James.” Remus pointed to the outskirts of the crowd, where James was chatting to some of the seventh years.   
  
Sirius and Remus made their way towards Peter first, letting him know not to come looking for them, then walking over to James.   
  
“Oi! Jamie!” Sirius called over the music. James turned, and the attention of the seventh-year boys was suddenly upon Sirius and Remus. “We’re off back to the dorm, just wanted to let you know so you don’t come looking for us.”

There was some snickering from the seventh-year boys and Remus frowned at them.   
  
“It’s not even eleven yet. What are you, a third-year?” one of them asked.  
  
He was tall, about the same height as Remus, with blonde hair and brown eyes and a cocky posture.

There were four seventh years in total. There were two blondes, the other one with silvery grey eyes and freckles. The other two were a brunette and a redhead, and seemingly more laid back.   
  
“Nope, just bored,” Remus said casually.   
  
“I’m sure that’s what it is.” The cocky one scoffed. There were more snickers from the other three seventh-years and James suddenly looked worried.   
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Remus asked.   
  
“Haven’t you heard the rumours?” the redhead asked. He fixed his gaze on Remus. “I wouldn’t go back to the dorm alone with Black if I were you. Rumour has it, he’s a fairy. All those girls he’s supposedly pulled aren’t girls at all, they’re blokes. You'll be next if you aren't careful. A roll about with a Black never ends well, everyone who associates with them goes insane.”   
  
Remus could tell that Sirius was getting nervous. There was something crackling in the air around him that smelt of uncertainty and anxiety.   
  
“And what would it fucking matter if he was, Barnes?” James said. “It wouldn’t be any of your business in the first place, and it still makes him a better wizard that all four of you knobs put together.”   
  
“Someone’s got quite a big mouth, hasn’t he? Maybe Black is shagging the skinny little boy he calls a brother. Makes sense, everyone knows his family is inbred anyway.” Snarled the cocky blond.   
  
Remus recognized him now as Jack Holmes, one of the sharper tongued seventh-years from Ravenclaw. He cosied up to teachers but tormented first and second years if they so much as looked at him wrong.

He still didn’t recognize the other three, even though James clearly knew the redhead. But Jack was now pushing James hard, so Remus pulled Jack back, taking his eyes off the other three boys for a split second and immediately regretting it.   
  
The redhead that James had referred to as ‘Barnes’ darted forward and punched Remus, making his head snap back and pain to ricochet throughout his nose.

He stumbled back, lost his footing and landed on his arse. He could hear a crack and felt the blood pouring out his nose.

When the world stopped spinning around him, Remus muttered a healing spell and grunted as the pain intensified for a second and the blood stopped.   
  
He wiped at his face with his dress robes and finally paid attention to what was happening. Sirius and James were throwing themselves at Barnes and Holmes. The other two had scampered off somewhere.   
  
“Pete!” Remus shouted. Peter noticed him and seemed to mutter curses as he also saw James and Sirius, running over and throwing himself in front of James as Remus hauled Sirius away.   
  
“Remus, let go!” Sirius yelled, thrashing in his arms.   
  
“You’re going to get us all in trouble, dumbass! Calm down and we can leave. I’m a Prefect, I’ll sort it.”

Remus grunted, trying to keep ahold of Sirius. Peter had managed to calm James down a little, directing him away from the seventh-years. 

Remus grabbed hold of Sirius’ shoulders and started forcing him towards the entrance.   
  
“That’s it, Black! Run away like the little bitch you are! Everyone knows you’re leaving because you and Loony Lupin are gagging for each other!” Holmes called.   
  
A few people were staring at this point. The music was still too loud for most of the sentence to be heard, but some most had gathered the general gist.   
  
“Stay here,” Remus instructed, before turning around, storming up to Holmes and hitting him in the face twice and turning on his heel, long legs reaching Sirius quickly.

Sirius was staring in shock as Remus dragged him out of the Great Hall.   
  
They raced up to the Gryffindor Tower and only stopped to breathe when they were safely tucked away in the dormitory.   
  
“Do you think Pete and James will be okay?” Sirius asked.   
  
“Yeah, Pete will bring him back here when he’s cooled down. It’s not a good idea to have James stomping around, it’s just going to make us all feel tense.”   
  
“How’s your nose?” Remus shrugged.   
  
“Alright, I suppose. I’ll talk to Madame Pomfrey tomorrow.” He replied. Just then, the door to the dorm burst open and James and Peter stormed in.   
  
“We’re okay,” Sirius said.   
  
“So are we. I had to get James to stay near the teachers so he wouldn’t cause a scene.” Peter said. He looked at Remus, moved closer and performed another healing charm to reinforce Remus’ one.   
  
“Let’s just get to bed, I think we’ve all had enough excitement for one night.” Remus sighed. James smirked.  
  
“Not yet, mate.” He said, pointing up. Remus looked up and saw the sprig of mistletoe sprouting from the ceiling.   
  
“It seems like even the dorms aren’t safe from Christmas traditions.” Sirius chuckled, leaning up to press a quick kiss against Remus’ lips, both of them blushing slightly.   
  
~   
  
“As I understand it, there was a slight scuffle at the Christmas party the last night,” Dumbledore said.  
  
Holmes, Barnes and the Marauders were all sat in his office, some of them staring at the ground and others looking guiltily at Dumbledore.   
  
“They started it,” James said moodily.

This visit to Dumbledore was cutting into what was supposed to be a date with Lily and he'd been in a crap mood ever since they'd been called to Dumbledore's office.   
  
“It’s not our fault that these four can’t handle a joke, Professor,” Holmes said. “It was four against one, how is that fair?”   
  
“From what I’ve been told by some of the other students that also saw the event, Mr Lupin and Mr Pettigrew jumped in to pull Mr Black and Mr Potter away, not to actually fight.” Dumbledore pointed out.   
  
“Tell that to my broken nose!” Holmes exclaimed.   
  
“You broke mine first.” Remus said. “Besides, if you’re going to start yelling abuse as Sirius and I are walking away, you deserve to get hit back.”   
  
“What kind of abuse was Mr Holmes yelling at you? You’ve not yet told me.” Dumbledore inquired curiously. Remus clenched his jaw and didn’t answer.   
  
He didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, didn’t want to draw attention to himself or his sexuality.

It was enough that his mother, James, Peter and Sirius knew. It was enough that Annalise and Holmes had guessed.

It was too many people, far too many for Remus to be comfortable with. It felt almost as wrong as people knowing that he was a werewolf. 

“He insinuated that Remus and I were sleeping together and told me to run away like the little bitch I was.” Sirius forced out, not quite looking at Dumbledore.   
  
“Well, that’s certainly inappropriate,” Dumbledore said. He surveyed the students sat in front of him. “A week’s worth of detention for all of you when the new term starts. Twenty points from Gryffindor, and forty from Ravenclaw.”   
  
“Why forty?!” Barnes exclaimed.   
  
“Mr Potter and Mr Black acted in self-defence of their friend, whose nose was broken as a result of Mr Holmes throwing the first punch. Mr Holmes also yelled abuse when the fight was over. I don’t condone any kind of violence in the halls of my school, but as everything was in self-defence and Mr Pettigrew and Mr Lupin did de-escalate the fight, I will not punish these four as harshly.” Dumbledore said. “You’re dismissed. Sirius and Remus, would you stay, please?”   
  
Holmes, Barnes, James and Peter all left, with James and Peter giving Sirius and Remus final looks, their worry evident.   
  
Sirius and Remus spared a glance at each other, both clearly thinking the same thing.   
  
_What the_ fuck _have we gotten ourselves into?_


	9. The Holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dumbledore finishes his talk with Remus and Sirius and the Christmas holidays arrive.

“Professor, what’s going on?” Sirius asked, frowning as he turned back to face Dumbledore.

He’d been staring after James and Peter as they left, confused and wanting to go with them.   
  
“I wanted to have this discussion with you two in private,” Dumbledore said. “I’ve heard some rumours spread around the school in the last few days.”   
  
“What kind of rumours?” Remus asked. “Whatever it is, Professor, I swear we haven’t done it. We’ve not done anything-”  
  
“I know you haven’t, Mr Lupin,” Dumbledore assured. “But it’s my role as Headmaster to make sure that I keep all of my students safe, even if that means from each other sometimes. Some students have reason to believe that you two are involved in a relationship with each other. Is that true?”   
  
Sirius and Remus shared a look that surely gave them away to Dumbledore, but he waited for them to admit it aloud.   
  
“Yes, Professor, it’s true,” Sirius said after a few seconds, clenching his jaw and raising his head higher as he turned to look at Dumbledore in his trademark defiant way. “And neither of us care whether other students or staff think it’s wrong. It’s not wrong, it’s the same as James and Lily or Pete and Mel. Nothing can change the way Remus feel about each other.”   
  
Remus went bright red at that remark, hating that he didn’t have his scarf or a jumper to bury his face into to hide the scarlet flush spreading across his cheeks.

Dumbledore’s eyebrows were raised and an amused smile could be seen through the facial hair surrounding his mouth.   
  
“Do you have anything extra to add, Remus?” he asked.   
  
“Sirius may have been quite brash in his comments. But he’s right, Professor. We’re no different from our friends who are in relationships. We haven’t heard about any of these rumours, but I heard the one about Sirius being gay from Anna at the Halloween party.” Remus said.   
  
“Anna? Your fellow Prefect?” Dumbledore asked. Remus nodded. “She was the one who brought these rumours to me. She was concerned that it would promote the wrong idea to the first years to have one of the Prefects be in a same-sex relationship. She was very concerned about how it reflects on you both as individuals and the school as a whole”   
  
“Professor, she practically cornered me in the Prefect’s baths and tried to get me to go on dates with her. I don’t know how long she’d been there, but I think she might’ve been watching me as I got undressed. That’s a lot more inappropriate than Sirius and I being in a relationship!” Remus exclaimed.   
  
“I’m not saying your relationship is inappropriate. I’m making you aware that rumours spread fast. And you need to be careful. I’m afraid the wizarding world isn’t quite as developed in social issues as it tries to be. If you do encounter any problems with other students, please do not be afraid to come to Professor McGonnagall or I. Do not try to handle it yourselves. We will stamp out any harassment taking place.” Dumbeldore reassured.   
  
“Thank you, Professor,” Remus said, calming down. He knew that it was possible they'd get some dirty looks from people. But would it escalate? Would it really necessitate staff getting involved?   
  
“Is that everything? We both have to start packing for the Christmas holidays.” Sirius said. Dumbledore smiled and nodded.

Remus and Sirius stood and left, walking back to the Gryffindor Tower. Annalise was arguing with James, Peter being the only thing stopping James from launching himself at her.   
  
Younger students were staring anxiously, some clutching at their wands hesitantly, aware that they didn’t know that much magic in comparison to the Marauders and Annalise, but wanting to jump in and do something.   
  
“What’s going on?” Remus asked.

Relief flickered across the faces of most as the attention was drawn from James and Annalise to Remus and Sirius’ arrival. Sirius went over to James and pulled him and Peter back, muttering to them about what had happened in Dumbledore’s office.   
  
“This is nothing to do with you, Remus,” Annalise said.   
  
“It isn’t? Looking like you’re about to jump one of my best friends doesn’t have anything to do with me? I’m not an idiot, Anna, don’t treat me like one.” Remus spat.   
  
Annalise looked taken aback at that. Remus was rarely ever so sharp and unkind. He was a calm sort of angry normally. A single look was enough to make even the cockiest first years stop fooling around.   
  
“What’s gotten into you? I was annoyed that you four lost us House points because you had a scrap at the Christmas party.” Annalise replied.   
  
“It was self–defence. More points were taken off Ravenclaw than from us. We’re still in the lead. Holmes was the first to lay his hands on one of us.” Remus said.  
  
“That’s not strictly true, is it?” Annalise sneered. “We all know who you and Black have your hands on.”   
  
“You’re fucking unbelievable, Anna! From now on, don’t come near me or my friends unless it’s strictly to do with Prefect duties. Come on, you three.” Remus said, stalking past her towards the dormitories.   
  
“And what are you going to do if I do come near you? Go running to Dumbledore?” Annalise laughed.   
  
“Do not test me, Anna. You’ve seen me in Defence lessons, you know exactly what I can do.” Remus snarled at her, walking up the stairs to the dormitory, slamming the door shut behind him. 

  
~  
  
Remus breathed a sigh of relief. He was glad to be home. His mother’s Christmas dinner was one of his favourite things on earth.   
  
“Oh! Remus, before I forget!” Hope said suddenly, standing up and walking over to the kitchen. “We had a strange owl visit this morning with a letter for you.” She walked back into the dining room and handed a thick envelope to him.   
  
Remus tore into the letter, taking in the familiar handwriting and decided to read James’ first.   
  
_Moony,_  
  
 _Padfoot is going crazy without you. So am I, to be fair. All the holidays seem to be so much more lonely without all of us together._

_But it’s been nice being with Padfoot all the time. My dad thinks he’s hilarious, and my mum thinks he’s wonderfully troubled. She worries about him and smothers him._

_I guess it’s nice to have a break from all the babying for once. Padfoot seems to love it, but I think that’s just because he loves attention.  
  
_ _Hope your Christmas is going alright. My mum got Sirius and I the ugliest fucking scarves you’ve ever seen in your life. They have our names woven into a small corner of it. Sirius loves his, he barely ever stops wearing it. Mine is scarlet and his is gold, so we’re kind of wearing Gryffindor colours. It’s proper cringey. You’ll laugh once you see them.  
_   
_Wormtail is having problems with Dorian. He got attacked by a cat or a fox or something when he was delivering a letter, so if you can’t get ahold of him, or were wondering why he hasn’t sent any letters, that’s why.  
_   
_See you soon, enjoy the rest of your Christmas,_

_Prongs,  
  
_ _P.S. here’s some of Mum’s famous Christmas chocolate cookies, she hopes you’re okay and says Merry Christmas from her and Dad._

Remus smiled as he pulled out the small bag of cookies that had been gently tucked into the envelope.

He read Sirius’ letter next, hands shaking.   
  
_My dearest Moony,_

_I miss you. That’s all I can think of right now. I miss you so much it takes over most of my day._   
_  
I don’t know when this letter will get to you, but just know that I have been waiting desperately for this famous roast turkey that James’ mother makes._

_It’s making me bounce off the walls in excitement, and if you’re reading this after Christmas, I’m most certainly in a food coma._   
  
_Are you okay? How’s your Christmas going? I hope you and your folks are okay. I remember you telling me that you sometimes get a bit lonely down in Wales because there’s no one your age for miles. I hope you’re coping alright without us.  
  
In truth, I’m not coping without you very well. _ _I’ve gotten so used to falling asleep beside you in our cosy little dorm in the Gryffindor Tower that I often toss and turn for ages. It drives Prongs up the wall._   
  
_Even the jumper I stole from your trunk while we were packing has stopped smelling like you as strongly now._

_I wear it to bed over my pyjama top because it’s fucking freezing in London at the minute._ _It’s not as cold as Hogwarts, but the castle is_ _draughty and old, which is half of the problem._

_The Potters live in the twentieth century and have heating, thank Merlin. Dumbledore really should get something other than fireplaces installed in the castle.  
_

_Your jumper is just enough for now, but I think I wore it so much during the first few days apart from you that I’ve wasted its Moony-ness with over a week to go until I see you again._

_It’s huge on me, but it helps me think that you’re nearby … like you’re just on the Prefect patrol around the castle, that you’ll be back soon and curling up with me in bed. That’s always my favourite part of the day._  
  
 _I can’t wait to see you again so I don’t have to rely on this jumper so much. You can wear it and make it smell like you again, which I’d be very grateful for._  
  
 _With all my love,_  
  
 _Your Padfoot_  
  
Remus knew his cheeks were red, knew that it was a blush. But he couldn’t care less when the knowledge that Sirius had taken the time to tell him his inner feelings about Remus with no qualms.

“So,” Lyall said, smirking at Remus, who was tucking the letters back into the envelope gently. “Who’s got you blushing? Is it the female Prefect this year? It’s a bit of a tradition to have the Prefects from at least one House date at some point.”  
  
“No. Anna and I are just …” Remus trailed off, not sure what to call them anymore. “I don’t know. Colleagues, I suppose. We _were_ friends, once. But I’m not so sure anymore. She just isn’t a very nice person anymore. I don’t talk to her outside of Prefect duties, she was gossiping about one of my friends.”   
  
“One of your friends?” Hope asked, raising her eyebrow. “Would it happen to be the ‘friend’ whose letter you were just blushing at?” Remus rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his mouth and embarrassment burning its way onto his cheeks again. Hope and Lyall laughed at him.   
  
“We’re going to your grandma Violet’s tomorrow,” Lyall said. Remus’ shoulders slumped and he pulled a face. “Remus, don’t pull that face! We always go on Boxing Day, it’s the only time she ever sees you!”  
  
“Only because she refuses to come here! She thinks it’s all cow shit and–”  
  
“Language!” Hope chided, beginning to take the dishes back into the kitchen.   
  
“Sorry, Mum! She thinks it’s all cow pats and sheep fuckers-”  
  
“Remus!” Hope warned again.   
  
“What?! It’s true!” Remus said.   
  
“Remus, it’s not right that you don’t have a strong relationship with her. Your cousins do, my brothers do. We have to stay here because it isn’t safe to be anywhere else during your transformations. Christmas is our sacrifice to appease her for another year. She always wants to see you.” Hope said.

Remus sighed, going to help his mother clean the dishes sulkily.  
  
~  
  
“Remus!” screeched Remus’ grandmother.

He forced a smile on his face. He hadn’t gotten a very good night’s sleep and he hadn’t had the chance to send a response to Sirius and James. The last thing he wanted to deal with right now was his grandmother.

  
“Hiya, grandma!” Remus said, trying to sound enthusiastic.   
  
“Look at you! You’ve grown!” Violet said, pulling him down into a hug. Remus just chuckled and shrugged.   
  
His cousins darted around him, all begging to be picked up. Someone tugged on his jacket and Remus turned. His cousin, Amy, was stood beside him, looking at the wand poking out of his pocket.

He’d zipped up the pockets so no curious hands could dip in. This jacket was enchanted to be able to fit a variety of magical items in them.

Amy must’ve tugged the zip down by accident.  
  
“What’s this?” Amy said, pulling his wand out of his pocket before Remus could blink.

His body suddenly felt cold, like he was experiencing a kind of phantom limb. Remus gently took his wand back and the world shifted again. His body jolted and he winced in pain.   
  
Wizards whose wands were mishandled by Muggles often felt the same thing. Giving someone your wand was the ultimate sign of respect and trust. But someone taking a wizard’s wand without permission was deemed to be despicable, as it was separating a wizard from his right to his magic.  
  
“It’s nothing,” Remus said.  
  
“Is it a magic wand?” She asked. Remus was keenly aware of his father staring intently at Remus.   
  
“No, Amy.” Remus chuckled, tucking his wand away again and lifting Amy, letting her settle sat on his hip. “Our family can’t do magic. Well, none that we know of. Maybe you can do it! Wouldn’t that be cool?” Amy smiled widely then. Remus took her into the living room, giving his father a reassuring smile as he passed.  
  
~  
  
“God, it's freezing,” Lyall said, stomping his feet on the ground to displace the snow gathering on them.

He and Remus were stood outside in Violet’s back garden. The itch to do things with magic was overwhelming for them both. Lyall was currently smoking, checking over his shoulder before handing the cigarette to Remus. “Just this once while your mother can’t see. It’ll take the edge off.”   
  
Remus hadn’t the heart to say that he’d smoked before with Sirius, desperately wanting to make his parents happy instead of worrying about him more than they already did.

They’d been staying at Hope’s mother’s house for three days and each was more unbearable than the last. Remus and Lyall were used to doing magic almost every day, used to that feeling of relief as magic flowed through their veins like water.   
  
It was an unusual feeling when a wizard or witch began to learn how to harness their magic properly, and it was something Remus was sure he’d never get used to. It was far too beautiful and far too mesmerizing.   
  
“I can’t wait until March. I always feel so useless at home, not being able to help you. It’d make things so much easier with an extra wand.” Remus said quietly, taking a few drags in succession before handing the cigarette to his father again.   
  
“Only three months to go, Remus. My boy will be all grown up!” Lyall clapped Remus on the shoulder. “When you’re seventeen, it’ll be easier.” He assured. “Dammit, this bloody thing keeps going out.” Lyall checked over his shoulder again, pulled out his wand and tapped his cigarette. It took a few tries, but eventually, it relit.   
  
“What are you two doing out here?” Hope called.   
  
“Nothing, darling! We’ll be in shortly!” Lyall said. There was silence and then Hope was rounding the corner.   
  
“Lyall! You’re smoking?! You said you wouldn’t resort to it this year!” Hope exclaimed.   
  
“I’m sorry! It’s hard to explain!” Lyall said.   
  
“Mum, you don’t understand. We’re used to having our magic at our fingertips and now we’re suppressing it. Just … give us the chance to make it easier.” Remus pleaded. Hope gaped.   
  
“You’ve been letting Remus smoke?!” She hissed.   
  
“Mum! Relax. It’s one cigarette, I won't die.” Remus said. “We’re just eager to get back to normal. Holding my wand usually helps, but I can’t even do that because people will ask questions. When Amy took it out of my pocket the other day, it felt like I'd lost a limb. This helps,” Hope sighed.

“Come back inside. They’re all asking what you’re doing out here.” Lyall and Remus glanced each other and followed Hope back inside, Lyall stubbing the cigarette out before they set foot into the house.

“There you are!” Violet said. “Now then, Remus, what’s this?” in her hand, she was holding a letter with familiar scrawling writing. 

His letters from James and Sirius.   
  
Remus felt a surge of protectiveness overwhelm him and knew that whatever happened next would not be pretty. 


	10. Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus' letters are out in the open and the family get a surprise

  
“Those are mine!” Remus seethed. Violet tutted.   
  
“Remus, don’t pull that face! You look ever so angry! Who are these people? Are these friends of yours? One of them seems sweet on you, you know. Who is she? Do you have a secret girlfriend you haven’t told us about?” Violet teased.

Remus’ vision went red and he grabbed at the letters, but his grandmother moved stealthily. 

She had clearly only read Sirius’ letter if she thought Remus had a girlfriend, she hadn’t seen the ‘he’ and ‘him’ in reference to Sirius’ nickname in James’ letter.  
  
“Grandma, I’d like my letters back, please. They aren’t yours to read through! How dare you go through my things!”

Remus was furious. All he wanted was the letters back. Violet pulled another scrap piece of parchment from her pocket. It had the beginnings of a response from Remus.  
  
Remus knew exactly what it had on it. He had it all rolled up and ready to be sent. He hated that his grandmother felt like she was entitled to know everything about people's lives, she snooped and pried and confronted people and then wondered why no one wanted to spend time with her.  
  
Violet unrolled it and began to read it out.  
  
 _My dearest Padfoot,  
  
_ _(And Prongs, but I have limited parchment, so forgive the singular letter)  
_  
 _My Christmas is going wonderfully, though I miss you two and Wormtail madly. Even more than I miss chocolate from Honeydukes.  
_  
 _It’s strange coming back to Wales during the holidays. I’m so used to being at school that I almost forget how far I am from all of you sometimes. I wish I could be in London with you all, we’d be only a Tube journey from each other, but Wales is the safest place for me, given my condition.  
_  
 _I‘m sorry_ _for the late reply. By the time I got your letters (and Mrs Potter’s wonderful cookies, please thank her for me), it was late on Christmas Day.  
  
We didn’t want to send Delia flying home in the dark in the bad weather, so we sent her without a response the next day. I’ll be staying with Muggle family from Boxing Day until New Year’s Eve, so we’re without our family owl, Queenie.   
_  
_Dad and I are struggling to get by without magic. The closer I get to my seventeenth birthday, the more I feel the urge to use it, despite the threat of legal issues if I do.  
_  
 _I’ve been sleeping amazingly, not waking up with a tuft of hair sticking up my nose and sharp joints digging in everywhere. For someone who eats so much, Padfoot really is bony._

 _I’m just kidding! I’ve actually been sleeping awfully. Truth is, I seem to sleep infinitely better with Padfoot around.  
_  
 _I’m running out of parchment now. I miss you terribly. I’ll see you when school starts, please don’t forget that Potions essay on Felix Felicis due the day after we get back. Slughorn won’t be happy to knock House Points off you if you don’t do it, and I’d rather like to beat Slytherin for the House Cup this year. They’ve been up our arses for months trying to sabotage us.  
_  
 _Enjoy the rest of your Christmas, you two,  
_  
 _You might want to look away now Prongs because I’m about to get sappy,  
_  
_I love you, Padfoot, and I’m excited to see you again just so I can say it properly in person. I like seeing you smile when I say it.  
_  
 _With all my love,  
_  
 _Your Moony._  
  
Violet finished reading and frowned deeply.   
  
“That’s the first time I’ve read it all the way through. I think it’s time to bring him home from that boarding school, Hope.” She said.   
  
“Mum, don’t be ridiculous,” Hope said.   
  
“They’re drugging him, or his friends and this little girlfriend of his are because they’re acting like children! Magic?! Potions? They’re teaching him to worship something evil! There’s a Catholic school nearby-”   
  
The front doors burst open with a burst of red light and all of a sudden, masked, hooded figures swarmed through the house. Remus saw them come in since there was no wall separating the kitchen from the dining room.

Children were screaming and Remus drew his wand. He’d taken to having it tucked into the belt of his jeans, hidden by his shirts, but pressing into his skin so he always knew where it was.   
  
He sprinted into the dining room, dragging two of his cousins by the scruffs of their collars and narrowly missing a white stream of light as he pushed them towards the kitchen, yelling ‘ _Protego!_ ’ as he made sure that his cousins got to safety.  
  
Rogue spells were sending things crashing off the shelves and Remus felt three days worth of magic surge up in him.  
  
“ _Petrificus Totallus!_ ” Remus cried, hurling everything he had into the spell. The nearest figure froze with such force and such speed that they rocked backwards and fell back.  
  
“How many are there, Remus?!” Lyall called from the kitchen.   
  
“Three! There were four but one of them is down.” Remus yelled.   
  
He was a skilled dueler. He frequently went up against Lily and James at the same time. He’d only just started working with Sirius so that the four of them could learn to take on three opponents.

Peter often opted out of these duels, knowing that he wanted to focus more on the theoretical aspect of magic and watching the others perfect their techniques so he could critique them.   
  
But this was a struggle, he’d only had a few months on working with three people. And they were clearly adults.   
  
“Good lad! I’ll be with you in a moment. Just hold on!”   
  
At the moment, Remus was just throwing up shields, his brain working through his most powerful spells.  
  
“ _Tarantallegra! Stupefy! Locomotor Mortis!_ ”

Remus sent the first three spells he could think of. The magic bursting out of him raced through his veins, left a relieved feeling in its wake and Remus felt as if he could almost cry.   
  
There were shouts of pain as one of them flew backwards through the now open front door. Another’s legs were having such violent spasms that he was on the ground writhing, and the last one was yelling in pain as he fought to move his legs, which refused to move.

He collapsed face-first into the carpet, still struggling.   
  
“ _Accio_ wands,” Remus uttered.

The wands belonging to the figures whipped up into the air and flew towards Remus. He managed to catch all three just as his father burst into the room.   
  
“You took them all out?” He asked breathlessly.

Remus nodded. Two bodies floated into the room and Hope’s family slowly began to filter in after them. The two extra figures landed next to their accomplices.

Lyall had knocked them out, taken their wands and had enchanted them to float to make sure they didn’t wake up and escape.

“A Full Body-Bind, the Dancing Leg Spell, the Stunner and the Leg Locker Curse, in that order. Merlin, I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder of you, and you tied for the most amount of Outstandings in your O.W.Ls last year.”   
  
Remus grinned. “I’ve been duelling a lot with my friends. We’ve started working on tackling more than one person. It came in handy today. What do we do now?”   
  
“I’ve alerted the Ministry, the Aurors should be here soon. I hope it’s Mad-Eye. He’s the only one in that whole department who’s competent at their job. You should join the DMLE, Remus, you and your friends. You four could make a huge difference, from what I’ve heard about your skills combined.”   
  
“Dad, you know I can't be an Auror,” Remus said.

It was a conversation they’d had thousands of time before, but Lyall always held out hope.

“And even if I could, I wouldn’t want to! I’d have to miss too many days if it was a rough moon. We know I’m capable of.” Remus gestured to the scars on his face. “I’d have to be put on the Registry, and I don’t want what I am to be plastered across my forehead to everyone in the Ministry.”   
  
“Who knows, Remus? Maybe you can still join, change people’s minds from the inside.”   
  
“It won’t happen, Dad. Not in my lifetime. Maybe I’ll get lucky and be able to work at Hogwarts, but I could never have any job in the Ministry.” Remus said.   
  
“Don’t give up hope, dear,” Hope said, appearing on Remus’ other side. She hugged Remus tightly. “I’m so proud of you! You’re getting so strong!”   
  
There was a sharp crack and a scream as Violet noticed the arrival of Aurors. Lyall welcomed them and Hope and Remus ushered the family back into the kitchen.   
  
“You-you killed them,” Violet whispered to Remus.   
  
“They’re unconscious. There’s only one spell capable of killing someone and it’s illegal. It’s punishable by being sent to Azkaban, our version of Alcatraz. Those people talking to Dad are the Aurors. They’re from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at the Ministry of Magic. They’re our police force for our government. They’re here to help.” Remus explained. 

"Remus! Come in here, Mad-Eye want to talk to you!" Lyall called.

Remus gave his cousins a reassuring smile and hair ruffles, tickling some of them as he passed to try and make them smile instead of look around in fear.

The Aurors were known for doing thorough investigations, but only when they could be bothered to even turn up, so Remus was torn between wanting them to be here for long enough to ease his family's minds, but not so long that it felt like an interrogation.

He could only hope it was the latter. All he wanted right now was for his dad to Apparate home and bring back more parchment and Queenie so he could tell Sirius what had happened. 

Most of all ... he just wanted Sirius.


	11. The Auror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the attack leaves Remus feeling paranoid about staying at his grandmother's house.

“They just burst through the door?” the Auror asked. Remus knew him. His dad had spoken about him before. Mad-Eye Moody.

The Auror who had accompanied him had Apparated back to the Ministry to inform the Minister about what had happened.

But Mad-Eye Moody was a legend in the Auror office, he was one of the best. He was slightly insanw, but the magical eye whizzing around the socket strapped to his face was where he had gotten the nickname. Remus nodded. “You’ve never had any experience with Death Eaters before?” 

  
“Death Eaters?” Remus asked. “That’s what they’re called? Whoever came up with that has a flair for the dramatics.”   
  
“I wouldn’t joke, boy.” Moody snapped. “These are dangerous people.”  
  
“Clearly they’re not that dangerous if a sixteen-year-old can take out four at once,” Lyall said.   
  
“Sixteen?” Moody said. “Are you a sixth year?” Remus nodded. “How far are you off turning seventeen?”  
  
“Three months. My birthday is on the tenth of March.” Remus told him.  
  
Moody made an interested noise then, deep and at the back of his throat.   
  
“If you ever wanted to join the Aurors, boy, send me a letter at the DMLE and I can write a recommendation for you. You could rise very quickly through the ranks when you leave Hogwarts with skill like that.”   
  
“Thank you, but I don’t think I’ll take you up on that,” Remus replied. Lyall’s head snapped to him.   
  
“ _Remus, what are you doing_?” he hissed.   
  
“I don’t believe in what the Aurors have become. They don’t seem to prevent any crimes. They’re the cleanup crew.” Remus said. Moody barked out a laugh.   
  
“You’re not wrong there, boy. Our current Minister is a bit shoddy at giving us free rein when we have the evidence to prevent something.” Moody agreed. “What do you want to go into?”   
  
“Teaching,” Remus confessed immediately. “I want to spend a few years researching, being out in the field. I want to be a resident expert in offensive and defensive magic, and dark creatures. I find it all fascinating.”   
  
“That’s an interesting one. You don’t get many younger people wanting to go into teaching these days. Good on you. If you ever need a connection with people in the field that can mentor you, then I can help. You seem to already be quite a powerful wizard, I look forward to seeing what you could do as an adult.” Moody observed. “I’ll take these into custody. You’ve done us a great service today, you two. Is this Hope’s family?”   
  
Lyall cast a glance over his shoulder at the curious looks.   
  
“Yeah, they are. We always come here for a few days at Christmas before Remus goes back to school. It’s one of the only times he can see them outside of term time.” Lyall said.   
  
“Would you like me to Obliviate them?” Moody asked.   
  
“Don’t you dare come anywhere near my family.” Violet snarled, pulling two of Remus’ cousins closer in protection.   
  
“Well, I think that settles it,” Lyall muttered.   
  
“Okay, well, I’ll see you after the holidays, Lyall,” Moody said. The Death Eaters were currently tied together with one thick, long piece of rope so that Moody could Apparate them all at once.   
  
“I’m coming back to work early. I’ll see you tomorrow, Alastor,” Lyall said. Remus looked at him then, the shock barely registering. Moody Disapparated away and Remus finally spoke.  
  
“You can’t go back to work yet! What if something else happens? What happened today was a stroke of luck, I can’t take six people at once if it happens again!”   
  
“It won’t happen again. There are wards set up around the house, it’s designed to alert the Aurors if anyone unauthorized people approach the house, and I’ll be coming back here at the end of every shift.” Lyall reassured.   
  
“I want to go back to school early.” Remus blurted out. “I can’t sit here twiddling my fingers for another week and not use my magic. I need to get it out on castle grounds against dummies and mannequins so that I’m not restless at the next moon. Otherwise, I’m going to be sat in the Hospital Wing for a week with injuries.” Remus said the last bit quietly, not wanting his family to question him.   
  
His family could know that he was a wizard, he was surprisingly comfortable with that. But they couldn’t know about his lycanthropy.   
  
Lyall sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. Hope came forward.   
  
“You know he’s right, Lyall. It’ll take a few days to get everything out of his system. I don’t want him to hurt himself again, not like he did last summer. He still won’t tell us what caused such a violent night.”   
  
There was a note of fear in Hope’s voice, as there always was when the full moon was brought up. But Remus knew that his mother was worried about what had happened to cause Remus’ facial scars.   
  
All Hope knew was that once a month, her son was in pain for hours, fighting against something he couldn’t control and getting torn up so badly that he would never have smooth skin, it would always be covered in thick, twisted scar tissue. It terrified every inch of her.

Remus knew that there was residual guilt from both of his parents that they hadn’t been in his room for another few minutes longer to prevent Greyback from biting him.  
  
“Fine, I’ll organize a Portkey. I’ll speak to Dumbledore and make sure everything is sorted. With any luck, you can go within the next day or two. I’ll go back home and grab your stuff and bring it back here.”   
  
“Can you bring Queenie? I’ve left these letters too long, I don’t want my friends to worry.” Remus pleaded. Lyall nodded and Disapparated.  
  
“Remus?” a small voice asked. Remus turned to see his cousin, Chloe, hesitantly stepping forward.   
  
He slowly walked towards her and crouched down. Chloe was his favourite cousin by far.  
  
She was ten and reminded Remus of himself. She was incredibly observant and smart. She was funny, and her green eyes and light brown hair made her stand out from the blonde hair and brown eyes of Remus’ mother’s side of the family.  
  
She looked more like Hope and Remus, and he had always considered her to be like a sister.  
  
“What’s up, Chlo?” he asked softly.   
  
“Can you show me how to do that stuff?” she replied. Remus almost didn’t have the heart to tell her that she would likely never be able to.   
  
“Well,” Remus pondered. “I’m not technically allowed to do magic when I’m not at school, not until I turn seventeen. That’s when I’m a proper adult to all the other wizards. And when you turn eleven in April, you _might_ get a letter to go to the same school as me. But you can’t get your hopes up, okay? My dad is magic, and so are his family. That’s why I can do it. Unless one of your parent's families have magic that’s skipped lots of generations, you might not be able to.” Remus tried to be as gentle as possible.   
  
“There’s a reason she’s asking.” Remus’ uncle David said. “Flowers grow whenever she wants them to, animals always seem to be drawn to her. Weird things keep happening, things we can't explain.”   
  
Remus’ eyes widened. The same kind of thing used to happen to him when he was a child. He used to sneeze and the curtains would catch on fire, or he’d get overexcited and laugh and the lightbulbs would smash.  
  
“Well, then, Chloe. I may be seeing you at school in September.” Remus said softly.   
  
~  
  
Remus and Lyall were standing in the back garden, waiting for the Portkey to go live. This Portkey was a small notebook.   
  
“Are you sure, Remus?” Lyall asked.   
  
“I’d feel a lot better if I was at the castle.” Remus said.   
  
Lyall looked at his watch.

Remus had already said his goodbyes to his mother and other family members, had managed to send his letter to James and Sirius off, writing one last note about him returning the castle, to send any replies back there.  
  
“Now! I’ll see you soon.” Lyall said. Remus grabbed the notebook and was wrenched through the air, gritting his teeth and doing his best to just keep holding on.  
  
This was almost like Apparating, but so much more violent. Remus landed on the ground just outside of the castle, close to where Madame Hooch held her flying lessons.

He panted slightly for a few seconds before struggling to his feet. McGonnagall was standing at the entrance to the castle and smiled at him as he approached.   
  
“Moody told us what happened.” She said. “It was wise of you to return here, Remus. Your bags have already been taken up by the house-elves, and your father has said you need some space to get some of that rogue magic rattling around out of your system. The Defense classroom is waiting for you whenever you’re ready.”  
  
“Thank you, Professor, I appreciate it,” Remus said with a smile.   
  
“Now go on! I can’t have one of my Prefects catching hypothermia just a few days before term starts again.”

Remus hurried inside, shivering up to the Tower, shucking off his thick winter clothes, spending a bit of time warming up in the common room before making his way down to the Defense classroom.  
  
~  
  
The first feast of the term was bustling with life.   
  
“Remus!” Sirius yelled. His voice carried so loudly that Remus could hear him from the other end of the room, and Remus’ head snapped up at the sound.

He clambered out from his bench, nearly tripping over in the process, and raced towards his friends, who were doing the same. He collided with Sirius first, and then James and Peter came around them in a group hug.  
  
He’d been walking through the secret passageways almost all day, dodging Filch, having time to mull over everything that happened. His feet had carried him through almost every tunnel and passageway that they knew, and he hadn’t seen his friends before dinner had started.   
  
“We heard there was an attack on some Muggles, the Howells. We thought it would’ve been your family, we were so scared!” James said.   
  
“Come on, there are some spaces down towards the front,” Remus said, trying to distract them.   
  
“Wait, Moony,” Peter started. “Was it your family? Your mother’s family, I mean? They’re Muggles, aren’t they?” Remus hesitated.  
  
“Yeah, there were six of them. Two of them tried to come in through the back door, I had to deal with the others on my own. Mad-Eye Moody offered to Obliviate my family, but my grandmother didn’t want him near the children. She read our letters, she tried to convince my parents to enrol me in a Catholic school in Cardiff, purely because she thought I was being drugged into thinking that magic was real, but she hasn’t brought it up since the attack.” Remus told them, beckoning them to the seats that he’d found.  
  
“You took on four people at once?!” Peter exclaimed.   
  
“Yeah, it was so much harder than going against Sirius, James and Lily. But not being able to use my magic for a week and a half meant that it was all building up with nowhere to go. My spells were ten times more powerful. And my cousin has been displaying signs of magic. I think her mother must’ve had a Squib in her family somewhere. She might be coming here next year.” Remus continued.  
  
The four of them settled on a bench, all beside each other.  
  
“What’s her name?” Sirius asked.   
  
“Chloe,” Remus replied. “I’m a bit scared that she might come here … I’ll only be able to look out for her for a year. Her dad, my mum’s brother, seems worried, too.”   
  
“If she has you as her cousin, your reputation will keep her safe,” James assured him.   
  
“I hope so,” Remus said, worrying his lip.  
  
He felt a discreet hand on his thigh and knew that Sirius was trying to support him without outing them. 

Sirius knew Remus wasn’t ready to be able to hold his hand in public yet, and so this was the next best thing. Remus dragged his fingers through his hair and then put his hands in his lap to make it less obvious when he held Sirius’ hand tightly under the table.   
  
“Quiet!” Dumbledore’s voice echoed throughout the Hall and heads swivelled towards the Headmaster as he began his obligatory beginning of term speech.


	12. A New Term

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The spring term is underway, bringing fresh challenges

"Why not?!" Sirius asked.   
  
"Because people will see!" Remus replied.  
  
"So what if they do?!"   
  
"Sirius, _please_ , I don't want to argue with you!" Remus was getting frustrated now. He and Sirius had been having this conversation at least once a week ever since the term had started.   
  
"But it's nearly Valentine's Day!"   
  
"Why can't we do something nice here in the dorm? Or down at the Black Lake?" Remus replied.  
  
"Because everyone will be going to the Black Lake for picnics or to get pissed because they don't have dates. First years always take their crushes down there to try and spot the Giant Squid. I don't know why they think it's romantic, but there'll be people down there." Sirius said. "Besides, we've been dating for four months now! I - I don't want to hide anymore."   
  
"Neither do I, Sirius." Remus sighed, standing and pulling Sirius close.   
  
"People think we're dating anyway, and those that don't think that I'm gay, or they stupidly think all the rumours are bullshit and will try to ask me out. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of walking through the halls and acting as if you're just my friend. I want people to see and to get jealous of me that I managed to charm you into dating me." Sirius' voice was soft.   
  
“People will be getting jealous me, Sirius. You’re the one they’re all attracted to.” Remus chuckled.   
  
“Are you for real?” Sirius asked, pulling back, a look of genuine shock on his face. He almost didn’t believe what he was hearing as he dragged his eyes over Remus.   
  
Remus’ height wasn’t the only thing that had changed over the summer. Over the last few months, Sirius had noticed the subtle differences that each full moon brought.   
  
At first, it had been Remus’ veins. They’d become more prominent in his forearms, standing out against his pale skin.   
And then it had been his biceps. They were pushing against Remus’ shirts more.  
  
Not enough to be uncomfortable, but enough that Remus had noticed and had charmed them to make his shirt sleeves a little baggier. He’d been confused … unsure why the sleeves had been tighter. He’d made a joke that all the meals he’d had at Hogwarts were finally making an impact on his usually skinny frame.   
  
His shoulders had been next, and Remus hadn’t had to charm them yet. His shirts had always been too big in the shoulders for him and Sirius didn’t know how he hadn’t noticed when they finally fit him properly.   
  
The last thing to change had been Remus’ chest, which was definitely more defined under his shirt. Sirius had felt it during their frequent broom cupboard or secret passageway make-out sessions, had managed to break down Remus’ walls enough to let him expose his chest in the darkness. Sirius had almost melted completely at the mix between smooth and scarred skin.  
  
Remus had been getting stronger. The full moon had been bulking his body up instead of leaving it pale and sickly.  
  
“Don’t be dramatic,” Remus said, beginning to disentangle himself from Sirius’ arms. Sirius pulled him back.   
  
“I’m not being dramatic, Remus!” Sirius exclaimed. “Have you not seen people staring? You’re getting stronger.” Remus frowned.   
  
“What do you mean?”   
  
“I mean, it’s not that the food here is having an effect on you. I think it’s the full moons. The last six months, you’ve been changing. You look different. Taller, stronger … you don’t have the same frame as you used to. You look good. Really good.” Sirius said. “That’s why I’ve been wanting to be more public about us … there are so many people staring at you and it makes me feel invisible. I want to be able to give you dopey grins in public, and hold your hand, and for people to want a relationship like ours, like best friends that just so happen to fancy each other.”   
  
Remus was frowning and he gently carded a hand through Sirius’ hair.  
  
“You soppy git. I thought you wanted people to know just to brag.” He sighed, hand settling on Sirius’ cheek. “Let’s organize something for Valentine’s Day. Just a drink in Hogsmeade, nothing too over the top. Maybe walk in holding hands, let’s not draw too much attention to it.” Sirius smiled.  
  
~  
  
When Valentine’s Day rolled around four days later, after both of them battling a few secret love notes in the corridors from fifth, sixth and seventh years alike, Sirius and Remus were getting ready to go into Hogsmeade.   
  
“Are you off out with Lily?” Remus asked James. He was currently hidden behind his bed curtains getting changed and saw through a sliver of a gap between the curtains as James’ face soured, making Remus wish he hadn’t said anything.   
  
“She said she didn’t want me to get the wrong idea, that she was enjoying hanging out as friends for the time being. She liked our date back in October in the Three Broomsticks, but wasn’t ready to start dating properly yet. So no, we’re not hanging out today.” He sulked.   
  
“But she didn’t say she would never be ready to date. Just give it a bit of time, Prongs. Keep doing what you’re doing and don’t fuck it up. Whatever you’re doing is working.” Remus advised. James gave him an appreciative smile.   
  
“What are you two up to? Are you gonna keep a lonely man company or pull a Pete and go out on a date?” James asked.   
  
“Sorry, Prongs, we’ve got a reservation at the Broomsticks,” Sirius called from the bathroom.   
  
“Since when have the Broomsticks been taking reservations?” James asked.   
  
“It’s a pub, James, of course it does. Sirius thought to send a letter a few days ago and Rosmerta’s mother saved a table for the two of us.” Remus said. “Apparently it’s going to be rammed down there.”   
  
Rosmerta was one of the fourth-year Gryffindors. The Marauders knew her well, they’d made good friends with her when she’d first started Hogwarts. She was smart and loyal and often bit back at the Slytherins who tried to taunt her.  
  
Sirius came out of the bathroom then and Remus’ pulled back his bed curtains, pulling on some shoes and standing. Sirius was wearing tight black jeans and a light grey shirt with his trademark leather jacket, navy blue boots and his hair tied half-up, with the rest settled around his neck and a few strands pulled free and framing his face. He was staring at Remus with a slightly open mouth.   
  
“What?” Remus asked as he put on a jacket, looking down at his clothes. He was in a white button up shirt, blue jeans and smart-ish black shoes.   
  
“Nothing,” Sirius said softly. He broke out into a dazzling smile. “I’ve got the best looking boyfriend in Hogwarts.” Remus laughed through the blush spreading across his cheeks.   
  
“I’m afraid you’re wrong there, Padfoot. I think you’ll find my boyfriend is a whole lot more attractive.” He said, leaning casually against his bedpost and smirking. Even from across the room, he could see Sirius’ eyes darken.  
  
“Eugh, you two are disgusting. Go on, before my eyes and ears start bleeding.” James complained.   
  
Sirius and Remus laughed at that and left the dormitory.   
  
“So what … do we just walk down the stairs holding hands or what?” Sirius asked.   
  
“Sure, if you want to fall down and make a fool of yourself. Let’s wait until we get to the bottom.” Remus said. His heart felt like it had jumped into his throat, anxiety filling the cavern where his heart was supposed to be. He and Sirius made their way down the stairs and Remus slowed as he neared the bottom.   
  
“You okay?” Sirius whispered. Remus swallowed and nodded, taking the last few steps and holding his hand out behind up for Sirius to take as he walked towards the tunnel out of the common room. They kept ahold of each other through the tunnel and emerged on the other side, where Remus’ anxiety rose even higher. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good-” Sirius’ hand began to leave Remus and Remus turned, tightening his grip.   
  
“Sirius, I promise I want this. Please don’t think I don’t. It’s just scary because it’s the unknown, but I’ll be fine.” Remus’s voice had a hint of a pleading tone in it and Sirius raised his eyebrows, searching for any uncertainty in Remus’ eyes.   
  
An agonizing few seconds went by and Sirius smiled, raising Remus’ hand to kiss it.   
  
“We can come back whenever you want, for whatever reason. I’m right here beside you, Rem. No one’s gonna give us any shit without me hexing them off the face of the earth. You know that, right?” Sirius asked softly.   
  
Remus nodded, took a deep breath and they began the walk through the castle and down to Hogsmeade. They passed very few people in the castle itself, no one saw them while they were outside on the castle grounds, and the anxiety in Remus’ chest lessened the longer they were walking.   
  
“So come on then, tell me more about this cousin of yours,” Sirius said as they neared Hogsmeade.   
  
“Chloe?” Sirius nodded. “Uh … she’s a lot like me and my mum. She looks more like us and my Grandma Violet than my Grandad and my mum’s brothers.”   
  
“Is your Grandad still alive? You’ve never mentioned him before.” Sirius asked.   
  
“Yeah, he’s been in the hospital for a while, though. He’s due home soon, but they keep moving back his discharge date because he’s really prone to infections. But I don’t really get along with him all that well, so I’m kind of glad he wasn’t there at Christmas, which is a horrible thing to think.” Remus admitted.   
  
“No, it’s not. If he’s a knob, he’s a knob, and you’re allowed to think that.” Sirius said. “Just because he’s family, it doesn’t mean he’s entitled to your love or your time.” There was something there, hidden under the surface, something Sirius wanted to say but didn’t.

  
“What happened with your parents over the summer, Padfoot? James said at the start of the year not to mention it, but you look like you need to get it off your chest.” Remus asked then.   
  
“I got sick of being in that house,” Sirius said, his voice hard. “I got sick of being around them, of them always telling me who I should be, trying to control my life. I lost it one day and my mother kicked me out. So I left. Didn’t even take my trunk with me. I flew to James’ in the rain, he told his parents that I was staying, and that was that. Luckily, I had some funds of my own so I could get a new trunk, all my books and new clothes, from Diagon Alley and from Muggle London.”   
  
“I’m sorry it ever had to get to that point, Sirius.”   
  
“Don’t apologize. If it hadn’t gotten to that point, I would’ve ended up like them, and I’d rather die than let that happen. If I was anything like them, I would be in Slytherin right now, and I wouldn’t be friends with you three. I like to think I would’ve still fallen in love with you, but I can’t say for sure. They brainwash everyone around them. I don’t know the kind of person I would be if I’d let them do that to me.” Sirius said. “But let’s not think about them today. This is about us, okay?”   
  
Sirius gave him a dazzling smile then, one that Remus couldn’t help but return. They were nearing the Three Broomsticks and Remus swallowed hard. He’d barely noticed if anyone had been staring at his and Sirius’ joined hands.  
  
Sirius opened the door for Remus and as they entered, relinking their fingers and catching Rosmerta’s mother’s eyes, she gestured towards the window, to a table for two that had clearly been labelled as reserved.   
  
They thanked her and walked over to the table, trying to ignore the occasional stare and whisper as they passed through the room and settled at their table, which, like the other tables in the room, had been set up with a simple red tablecloth.  
  
“Do you want me to go and order some drinks? You look a little nervous.” Sirius asked.  
  
Remus nodded and knew that Sirius could see the appreciation in his eyes. Remus watched him go for a few seconds before looking around the room anxiously. There were a lot of students he knew in here.   
  
Six of the other Prefects were sat between two booths on the other side of the room and, thankfully, none of them had noticed him yet.  
  
The missing Prefect, not including Remus, was Jonathan Snipe from Slytherin. He and the other Slytherin Prefect, Miranda, were twins and were pretty high on the list of the Marauder’s most disliked Slytherins.   
  
The two were very rarely seen without each other and Remus worried to think where he might be. It was possible he was ill, but if one of them was ill, the other would always wait until they were better before showing their faces again.   
  
“Ooh, has Loony Lupin got a little date planned?” _Shit.  
_  
“It’s not any of your business, Snipe.” Remus spat.   
  
“It is when you’re messing with someone who belongs to Slytherin,” Jonathan said, walking around him to sit in Sirius’ seat.   
  
“What are you talking about?”   
  
“Regulus’ big brother. The star of the school. Sirius. You two have got quite the set up here.”  
  
Remus caught a specific figure in black moving out of the corner of his eye and he turned his head to see Sirius reappear with drinks. Remus could see the exact second he noticed Jonathan sat down with Remus, caught the scowl that spread across his face.   
  
“Bugger off back to your sister and let me enjoy a drink,” Remus said.   
  
“I don’t take orders from you, you filthy fucking half-blood,” Jonathan said, leaning back on the chair. “I don’t think you want everyone knowing you bend over for your superior, do you? Blacks are a higher breed. You shouldn’t get too comfortable.”   
  
“You heard him, Snipe. Fuck off.” Sirius’ voice rang clear as he came closer, putting the drinks down and fixing Jonathan with a dark look. “I can guarantee you wouldn’t like the rumours I could spread about how your family keep themselves pure.”   
  
“You wouldn’t dare!” Jonathan exclaimed. “Your family is just as screwed up as mine and Miranda’s! We could tell everyone about the stuff that happens in the Black household.”   
  
“Try me. I dare you.” Sirius said.  
  
Jonathan stayed sat down for a few seconds, assessing the risk, before standing and barging past Sirius roughly, settling again with his sister, still glaring at Sirius and Remus.


	13. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus deals with the beginning of the fallout of the Valentine's Day date.

“Are you okay?” Sirius asked, settling down into his seat.   
  
“Yeah, fine.”   
  
Remus knew his response was too quick, but he tried to stay committed to acting fine. He took a sip of his Butterbeer, staring at the tablecloth, knowing that if he looked Sirius in the eye, Sirius would know.  
  
“Rem, I know you. What’s up?” Sirius’ voice had softened and Remus couldn’t help but look up. “It’s not what Snipe said, is it? Whatever it was, he’s a knob, you shouldn’t listen to him.”   
  
“I know. He’s in the same league as the Malfoys and the Lestranges. Utter wankers. But it doesn’t mean the things he says don’t hurt.” Remus said. “Especially when all of the Prefects are now looking over at us thinking they’re being sneaky.”   
  
“Pretend I said something funny,” Sirius said. Remus frowned. “Remus, just do it!”   
  
“No! I’m an awful liar, they’ll know it’s fake!” Remus leant closer slightly to say it quietly.   
  
“Then kiss me.”   
  
“What?!” Remus spluttered, trying to take another drink from his Butterbeer and wishing the smile and blush on his face wouldn’t spread as quickly as he knew they were.  
  
“You’re leaning closer to be quiet. Make it look like you’re going to kiss me. Be authentic, Remus.” Sirius whispered, winking at him. Remus rolled his eyes, blushing harder.   
  
“I’m not kissing you.” Was all he said.   
  
“Why not?!” Sirius exclaimed. Remus hushed him, chuckling at his flamboyancy and need to be dramatic. “You do it in the dorm with no problem.”  
  
“That’s when we’re in the dorm, Sirius! I almost had a bloody panic attack holding your hand on the way down here. Do you really think it’s that easy to just kiss you in public?” Remus asked.   
  
“I thought I was irresistible. At least, that’s the impression I get whenever James and Peter leave the dorm, and then you’re all over me.” Sirius shrugged.   
  
“I really don’t think you need the ego boost that would come with me agreeing with you.”   
  
And like that, conversation flowed normally again. Remus’ nerves and anxieties surrounding being on a Valentine’s Day date with Sirius as a couple dissipated.   
  
He was aware of the Prefects casting glances over at them every now and then but forced himself not to look at them.   
  
Despite his earlier protests, Remus did want to kiss Sirius in public. He did want to have that level of confidence and pride in his relationship.   
  
But how was he supposed to go about it? And what would happen if they did it in such a public place when it was now starting to get incredibly busy with other dates? Would Sirius protest?

 _Be realistic, Remus, Sirius won’t complain,_ Remus reminded himself. Of course, Sirius wouldn’t care. It was no big deal to him.   
  
When Sirius pushed his chair up to get the next round of drinks, Remus stopped him. This was an opportunity, right? He could use this moment to be casual, be like any other couple, give Sirius a quick kiss just like other people were doing.   
  
It didn’t have to be anything huge. He didn’t have to draw too much attention to them, not on a day where everyone was too focused on their own dates. In reality, this was probably the perfect day for a more public, obvious date.   
  
“It’s alright, I’ll get this round.” He said, standing up and, before he lost his courage, leant down and gave Sirius a quick kiss on the cheek. Remus pulled back and saw Sirius giving him a proud smile. “I’ll be right back.”  
  
And with that, he picked up the empty glasses on the table, beginning the walk to the bar.  
  
Remus almost laughed at his own bravery, feeling delirious at how much of an impact Sirius could have on it as he deposited the empty glasses on the counter and asking for refills.   
  
His wait was short. There were very few people at the bar. He’d left at the right time, just as people were returning to their dates with fresh drinks rather than ordering them.  
  
When he had the drinks, Remus thanked Rosmerta’s mother and walked back to his and Sirius’ table, avoiding the Prefect’s table, who were still casting fugitive glances at him from across the room.   
  
“They’ve been staring at you for the last five minutes,” Sirius said once Remus had returned.   
  
“Who? The other Prefects?” Remus asked. Sirius nodded. “They’ve been staring at me a lot longer than that, Pads.”  
  
“I wonder why they didn’t say anything to you, why they just left you out. It’s pretty childish of them.” Sirius said.   
  
“I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s their problem, not ours. The only thing we have to be concerned with today is enjoying ourselves.” Remus said.   
  
He didn’t feel confident saying it, but he wanted to be. He didn’t want to always be ashamed of himself.

If he could share being a werewolf with Sirius, James and Peter and still have them look at him normally, then why should he be ashamed of loving Sirius, who was one of the best things to walk into his life?   
  
“You’ve changed your tune from this morning,” Sirius observed fondly, leaning forward to place his arms on the table and smiling. “You seem a lot more relaxed. I’m glad. I don’t want you to worry about this … about us. We’re going to be okay. No one is going to give us problems. If they try to, I’ll happily serve all the detentions in the world to defend your honour.”   
  
Remus laughed and rolled his eyes. “Dramatic as always.” He said. “You know what would make them stop staring? Something that might make them uncomfortable enough to get them to fuck off properly?”   
  
Sirius raised an eyebrow and Remus mimicked Sirius’ earlier movement, placing his arms on the table, folding them and leaning closer.  
  
“Take a guess,” Remus whispered, staring right into Sirius’ eyes and then deliberately looking down at Sirius’ mouth for a few seconds before returning to his eyes.

The grey was almost overtaken by Sirius’ pupils as his eyes darkened, understanding what Remus meant.   
  
Sirius leant forward and Remus let him do the work, let him chase Remus, only meeting him when Sirius was almost there and Remus couldn’t take the wait anymore.

This was a small table, luckily, and there it wasn’t far for Sirius to stretch, but Remus knew Sirius was teasing him.  
  
It was barely a brush of lips, and he and Sirius smiled shyly at each other, leaning forward again. Both were smiling into it. It was soft, sweet and short, only a few seconds.  
  
“Look at you, being all brave,” Sirius said quietly. Remus just shrugged.  
  
“I guess you rub off on me in good ways sometimes.”   
  
“I can think of an amazing way to rub off-”  
  
“ _Sirius_!” Remus interrupted, blushing hard and looking around them to see if anyone had overheard. Sirius laughed.  
  
“You just openly flirted with me and kissed me in front of a bunch of our schoolmates and you still blush at a harmless little innuendo. You never fail to surprise me, Moony.” Sirius chuckled. “Should we finish these drinks and head back to the castle? We’ve been here a good hour and a half already. James will be moody as all bollocks.” Remus grimaced.  
  
“It’s a shame about him not grabbing another date with Lily, he was so excited.”   
  
“I guess it just gives him the incentive to be nicer to her for longer,” Sirius said. “Anyway,” He held up his glass in a toast. “To our first Valentine’s Day together. May we have many more.” Remus smiled and tapped their glasses together gently, both of them taking a hearty swig.  
  
~  
  
Remus stood and pulled his robes back on. They had managed to wrangle another hour of sitting in The Three Broomsticks before it had gotten too rowdy for Remus. And then Sirius cursed. Remus frowned at him.  
  
“It’s the fourteenth, right?” he asked.   
  
“Yeah, Valentine’s Day always falls on the same day, Padfoot.” Remus teased.   
  
“I’m not talking about that!” Sirius whispered. He stepped closer to Remus. “Isn’t it the full moon tomorrow night?”   
  
Remus could feel the colour drain from his face. Fuck. How had he not realized?! He’d not had any of the usual symptoms.

A little anxiety, yes, a bit of nausea, but it hadn’t been noticeable. He’d snapped at Jonathan earlier, but that was due to his comments about Remus’ ‘place’ in society, about his relationship with Sirius. Right?  
  
“Fuck! I completely forgot! I’ve felt almost completely normal all day. I’ve not been irritable or tired or anything. How did I not remember?! This is the first time I’ve not remembered and we haven’t started planning.”   
  
“We’ll talk about it once we’re back at the castle, there are too many people nearby. But we’ll handle it, Rem. It’s fine.” Sirius reassured, cupping Remus’ face softly. “We’re just lucky we remembered now. Madame Pomfrey would’ve sent an owl to check on the plan, we’ll check in with her tomorrow.” 

Remus nodded absently, his mind racing.  
  
For the first time in his life, he’d … forgotten the full moon. Somehow, he’d been so distracted.

Remus knew that Sirius could see the worry behind his eyes and did his best to calm him, giving Remus a charming smile that he knew would make Remus melt, offering Remus his hand. Remus took it, linking their fingers and leaving the pub.  
  
~  
  
Remus severely underestimated the care that people seemed to give at his and Sirius’ linked hands.

Maybe it was that they were all wrapped up in their own relationships that they didn’t notice, but he definitely felt more confident in the idea of going around with Sirius publicly.   
  
He and Sirius spent the rest of the evening in the dorm room, excluding dinner, with James and Peter, planning ahead for the approaching full moon. Largely, things didn’t often change from month to month.

No one would suspect Remus being out of his dorm now, not with him being a Prefect, which meant that James and Sirius could hog the Invisibility Cloak to themselves.   
  
Peter would be able to scuttle through the halls, as usual, taking passageways through the castle to avoid getting caught by Mrs Norris, and meeting the other three in the Shack.

But James and Sirius would be following Remus, making sure that no one was following him, namely Snape, and being a comfort to the anxiety surrounding Remus. 

When he knew they were there, he was often less likely to have a panic attack on the stairs on the way down or feel so ill that he had a rougher night.

This moon would be no different from the hundreds he’d had before.  
  
~  
  
Remus was exhausted. It was definitely the full moon tonight. His body already didn’t feel up to it. 

The wolf that lay underneath his skin was snapping at him, so close to the surface, so close to the forefront of his mind that he often lashed out.  
  
He always tried to keep his mouth shut throughout the day leading up to the fulls, and the teachers all knew when he was getting ready for it by his fatigue and his irritability with his friends.  
  
“ _Psst_ , Lupin.” A voice whispered. 

Remus was sat in Transfiguration next to Peter, Sirius and James sat at the desk in front, trying his best not to fall asleep and letting Peter scribble down a few more notes onto his homework to make it look longer before McGonnagall asked them to hand it in.

“ _Oi_! I’m talking to you!”   
  
Remus looked to his right and saw Rodolphus Lestrange smirking at him. Beside him sat Snape, with Rosier and Mulciber behind them, also casting sly glances is in direction.  
  
“What do you want?” He hissed.  
  
“Rumour has it, you went out on a little Valentine’s Day Date with Black yesterday,” Lestrange muttered. “The Snipes saw you too sucking face at the table in the back corner, away from all your Prefect buddies. Apparently you got a little mouthy towards Jonathan.”  
  
Remus just rolled his eyes.  
  
“Don’t you have better things to do than bother me in the middle of class?”   
  
“Don’t act all high and mighty. You were warned yesterday, and you didn’t listen. So I’m warning you again. Stay away from your superiors, queer.”   
  
“What the fuck did you just call me?” Remus ground out through gritted teeth.  
  
The Slytherins all looked at each other and Remus could see in their eyes that they were egging Lestrange on, wanting to see Remus lose his cool and go crazy. Remus was usually the sane one, after all.   
  
He was known to occasionally get snappy at people, but to always apologize right away, he was kind to everyone, like Peter was.

Remus was a lot less hotheaded than Sirius, less defensive as James, and nowhere near as introverted as Peter, who very rarely said much to anyone other than the Marauders that warranted any harassment.   
  
“You heard me, Loony Lupin,” Lestrange said, leaning closer, glancing towards McGonnagall, who had her back to them, writing on the board. “Why don’t you stop bending over for someone you don’t deserve, you dirty little _queer_.”   
  
Before Remus knew what he was doing, he was launching himself across the aisle, dragging Lestrange by the tie from his seat and grappling with him on the floor.   
  
_This isn’t right. This isn’t you, Remus. You have to stop._

The rational part of his brain was going into overdrive trying to convince Remus to stop, but the fear and anger that overtook him were stronger.   
  
How could he have thought he and Sirius wouldn’t get any issues by making their relationship public? Remus had been a fool to truly believe that, to think that people could rise above it.  
  
Remus didn’t even register that there were people trying to separate them until he and Lestrange were suddenly lifted into the air and they both flailed, trying to right themselves.   
  
“Mr Lupin, I don’t know what’s gotten into you!” McGonnagall exclaimed. “You’re usually the one pulling your friends away from these situations and now you’re brawling in my classroom! What’s the meaning of this?!”   
  
“It wasn’t my fault, Professor, Lupin’s gone mad! He just dragged me out of my seat and started hitting me!” Lestrange was still trying to right himself, while Remus was just about managing to face McGonnagall.   
  
“Lestrange was the one aggravating me.” Was all Remus said.   
  
“I want to see both of you, in my office, as soon as the class is over,” McGonnagall said, lowering them both to the floor. “Mr Lupin, swap seats with Mr Potter, I want you a bit further away from the Slytherins, Mr Lestrange, move to the empty desk up here so your friends don’t encourage you to do something stupid.”  
  
Lestrange scowled but begrudgingly moved. James stood and gave Remus shoulder a squeeze as they swapped seats.   
  
“You alright, Rem?” Sirius asked quietly. Remus just gave him a fake smile, one he knew Sirius could see through, and took a seat, seeking out the comfort of Sirius’ hand under the desk. 


	14. The Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The full moon approaches

Not for the first time, Remus found himself glowering in McGonnagall’s office.

But this time, it wasn’t because of a stupid mistake or fight caused by one of the other three Marauders, it was his own doing.  
  
He’d been distracted, had let the snapping, snarling wolf prowling underneath his skin, straining and wrenching against his soul, get the best of him.  
  
“I understand that there’s tension between both Houses currently, but that does not excuse brawls in lessons. Luckily, Pettigrew confessed that he overheard what happened. I’ve already spoken to Professor Slughorn, Lestrange, you’re free to go, he will discuss punishments with you.”   
  
Lestrange stalked out and Remus stayed, looking at McGonnagall’s desk rather than at her eyes.  
  
“Let me guess, two weeks’ worth of detentions and someone else is filling in my Prefect duties until they’re done?” Remus asked quietly, once Lestrange had closed the door behind him.  
  
“No, Remus, in fact, you’re not getting any detentions or any docking of House Points at all,” McGonnagall said.   
  
Remus looked up at her then, shock written evidently on his face. McGonnagall was looking at him sympathetically.   
  
“He was deliberately trying to provoke a response, and he happened to pick the wrong day. I understand that it must be hard to keep your emotions in check this close to the full moon. I saw the influence of having Black beside you after today’s incident, and I think it would be best if you two sit beside each other in my lessons from now on. I will move Lestrange and his friends away. Hopefully, this will prevent any other problems. I’m letting you off the hook this time, Remus. Please do not take advantage of that.” McGonnagall said.   
  
“Thank you, Professor. I won’t.” McGonnagall gave him a smile that Remus took as a dismissal and he left.   
  
Sirius, James and Peter were waiting outside.   
  
“How bad is it looking?” James asked, bracing himself for the lost House points. 

“I got away with it this time, but only because of what’s coming up tonight. I don’t even know what came over me, I’m usually so good at keeping myself calm.” Remus sighed.   
  
“You deserve a bit of stress relief. It was funny watching Lestrange struggle, so maybe he’ll take the hint and stop being a prat next time.” Peter said, beginning the walk towards Potions.   
  
“I highly doubt it, Pete. Most of the Slytherins are a specific breed of awful. It’s naïve to think there’ll be many of them to reject that mindset. We’re lucky Sirius was never Sorted with them.” Remus replied.   
  
“You know me, always defying the odds.” Sirius quipped, smirking.   
  
“Merlin, how much longer of today do we have? It’s dragging.” James complained.   
  
“It’s not even lunchtime yet. We’ve still got an hour of Potions first. And then double Charms, and I’ve got Muggle Studies.” Peter moaned.   
  
“This is what you get for wanting to follow your Dad’s footsteps at the Ministry, Pete.” Sirius shrugged.  
  
He was about to stuff his hands into his pockets when Remus grabbed his right wrist. Sirius frowned at him and, with only a second’s hesitation, Remus slid his hand down the rest of the way until his palm was pressed into Sirius’ and their fingers interlocked.   
  
“If people are going to start whispering about us to our faces, and probably behind our backs as well, then we may as well give them something to whisper about.” Remus explained.   
  
James and Peter peered at them, eyes flicking down to their joined hands before looking at each other and giving each other sly grins. Remus wanted to cringe. He knew there was a whole world of teasing coming their way.  
  
But Remus’ attention was mainly focused on Sirius, on the beaming smile that he had on his face, a clear show of his affections and the joy that he had in being able to hold Remus’ hand in public.   
  
And, like he had felt walking into Hogsmeade the day before, Remus anxiety regarding the situation gradually faded, finding comfort in the familiar feeling of Sirius’ hand in his.   
  
~  
  
Remus groaned, letting himself acknowledge the pain ricocheting around his body for a few seconds before opening his eyes. As usual, there was a large, thick blanket thrown over him, enough to cover almost his entire body, and a fresh set of clothes beside him.   
  
James and Peter were sprawled out on the bed against the wall and Sirius was sat on the piano bench, slumped over, head in his arms on top of the piano. All of them were back in their uniform.

They always changed before they went to bed on the full moons so they didn’t have to wake up too early. It was a long night for all of them, and the more sleep they all got, the better.   
  
It was early. Remus always woke early after the full moon. His injuries always encouraged an early start, screaming out in pain and demanding attention. He made a guess, thinking it was around half six in the morning judging by the light streaming through the window.  
  
Remus forced himself to sit up and just managed to pull some underwear and trousers on before there was a knock at the door.

He blearily looked over to see Professor McGonnagall and Madame Pomfrey in the doorway.   
  
“Morning,” he croaked.   
  
“Good morning, Remus. How was last night?” Madame Pomfrey, coming forward and settling beside him, already beginning to inspect his back and torso.  
  
“The usual. Snapping and snarling, getting angry, getting hurt. The same as every month, I suppose. There were a few seconds right at the very beginning that are clearer. I remember a lot of different smells, but not a lot else.” Remus replied.   
  
“What’s causing a problem then? Where’s hurting today?”   
  
“My head feels like it’s full of ants. My left shoulder is the worst, I think I might’ve popped it out of place at some point. A few of my fingers feel swollen and I think I’ve done something to my ribs.” Remus guessed. Madame Pomfrey got to work on giving him some potions and ointments.   
  
“Mr Lupin, why are your friends here?” McGonnagall asked.   
  
“They always come down just before sunrise, before everyone wakes up. They like being here when I wake up so I have help. They’re how I get to the Hospital Wing most of the time, that’s why one of them is usually beside whichever bed we choose until Madame Pomfrey comes to help.” Remus told her.  
  
“And yet the four of you didn’t do that this morning. How come?” McGonnagall asked.   
  
“They must’ve had a late night. Sirius told me once that they all struggle to sleep very well during the full moon because they get worried. I guess they came down and were just really knackered and decided to get a bit of extra sleep once they realized that I was still breathing.” Remus shrugged with one shoulder.   
  
It was a blatant lie, of course. His friends were Animagi, _illegal_ Animagi, and had been for the better part of almost a year. They had kept it well hidden so far. Remus hated lying to McGonnagall, but it was necessary on matters such as these.  
  
“Moony, be quiet, it’s too early for talking.” Grumbled James from the bed, shifting around to sleep on his other side.   
  
Peter made a sharp snorting noise in his sleep, leg twitching.   
  
“Oi, Wormtail, will you stop making that bloody noise? You sound like a pig. Why do you only ever make it after a full moon?” Sirius groaned, lifting his head slightly and casting a glance towards Peter and James.

Peter made the noise again, leg continuing to twitch slightly.  
  
“You three are charming, you know that? What wonderful friends I have.” Remus said sarcastically.

Sirius sat up properly then, blinking hard a few times, scrubbing at his face and looking at Remus with a smile.   
  
“Good morning, Professor! And to you, Madame Pomfrey! Beautiful morning, isn’t it?”   
  
Sirius was trying to be his usual charming self, which failed miserably with his tired eyes and messy hair.   
  
James sat up at that comment, eyes wide and alert at the revelation of having two members of staff in the Shack, seemingly catching them out in being there when they shouldn’t be.   
  
He picked up the pillow he’d been sleeping on, hitting Peter over the head with it, causing Peter to wake suddenly, yelping and flailing so hard that he fell off the bed.

Remus laughed at him, James sighing and shaking his head and Sirius watching it all with a grin. Remus hissed as Madame Pomfrey braced her hands on his shoulder and pushed it back into pace, tears springing into his eyes as it throbbed and ached.   
  
“What brings you down here, Professor? We were just checking on our dear friend after such a stressful night.” James said.   
  
“I wanted to check on Mr Lupin after yesterday’s incident in my lesson. From what Madame Pomfrey told me, stress can sometimes make the full moons worse. I was concerned as that he would’ve injured himself more than usual during the night.” McGonnagall said. “I also wanted to speak to Mr Lupin and Mr Black about a private matter.” McGonnagall was looking pointedly at James and Peter.   
  
“Professor, they know about me and Sirius, they’ve known since November. If this is what it’s about, there’s really no need to hide it from them.” Remus said. McGonnagall’s lips quirked up in a smile.  
  
“Why am I not surprised at yet another one of your secrets?” she said fondly. “I’m afraid the majority of the school has been made aware of the nature of your relationship. A lot of people saw the two of you holding hands in the halls yesterday. I highly encourage you to cause some kind of mischief in order to distract everyone. Perhaps you could work with Peeves. As I understand it, you have some kind of alliance with him.”   
  
The four of them grinned at each other and Madame Pomfrey stood.

“Your shoulder should be fine, make sure you keep moving it so it doesn’t stiffen. There’s very minor bruising around your ribs, nothing you haven’t dealt with before. A few of your fingers have been sprained, I’ve wrapped them in a splint. I can’t do anything for the headache, I’m afraid, but you’ve had a relatively good full moon, all told. Count yourself lucky, Remus, it’s very rare that you get away with as few injuries.” She said.   
  
“Thank you, Madame Pomfrey.” Remus smiled at her. He grabbed his fresh shirt, tugging it on and doing up the buttons.

He put a hand down to support him, trying to avoid putting weight on his bad shoulder, and then Sirius was there, steadying him and doing up Remus’ top button, slipping Remus’ tie under his collar and quickly doing it up for him.

When Sirius finished, Remus just raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly.  
  
“What?!” Sirius asked defensively.   
  
“Since when have you been doing my tie for me? That’s very domestic of you, Pads.”   
  
“He _has_ turned into a bit of a housewife since the two of you got together,” Peter smirked.   
  
“And what’s so bad about that, Pete?” Sirius asked, whirling around to face Peter, hands on his hips. “I think you’ll find that I quite enjoy being a housewife to our dear Moony. I take very good care of him. Don’t I, Remus?”   
  
“Incredible care.” Remus chuckled, leaning down to put his shoes on and tie his laces.  
  
“See?! I’m the perfect housewife!”   
  
“How did we ever think you were straight?” James asked to no one in particular.   
  
“But you aren’t a girl, Pads. You could be a househusband?” Peter suggested.   
  
“It doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, does it?” Sirius asked.   
  
“House-spouse works,” Remus commented, straightening. “It rhymes and it’s inclusive.” Sirius pondered for a second.   
  
“I think housewife suits me more. There’s nothing to be afraid of when it comes to being in touch with your feminine side, lads. It makes you more emotionally available. Girls love that shit!”   
  
“And what would _you_ know about what attracts girls? You’re _gay_!” James laughed.   
  
“Because Potter, I’m friends with a lot of people. When girls need help talking to their crushes, I help set them up. I know a lot of what girls are interested in when it comes to blokes. With my advice, maybe one day, you'll get married and have little baby Prongs’ with Evans, and Wormtail might even get further than over the shirt petting in a broom closet in the East Corridor with Mel Williams.” Sirius finished,  
  
“Wait, _what_?!” James and Remus said in unison.  
  
“ _OI_! You swore you wouldn’t tell!” Peter exclaimed, a smile and a blush gracing his face. Sirius laughed and shrugged.  
  
“ _Boys_!” McGonnagall called. “I’m being serious – don’t you _dare_ make that joke, Mr Black – you need to be careful today. I will not have any more duels or brawls anywhere on castle grounds. Understood?” They all nodded and her and Madame Pomfrey left.   
  
“Right. Well, I’m going back to the dorm to grab some books and stuff for lessons. Are you lot coming?” James asked. Peter climbed off the bed and Sirius and Remus decided upon staying. “See you at breakfast, lads.” 

There was silence for a few seconds while they left, and then Remus looked to Sirius.

“Play something for me,” Remus said, nodding at the piano. Sirius raised an eyebrow. “You never play when anyone’s watching. But I’ve heard you before. Play something.”   
  
“Only for you, Moony.” Sirius said softly. After a slight hesitation, he walked over to the piano and sat down.


	15. The Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Marauders create a distraction

Sirius was the most beautiful pianist in the world, Remus had decided.   
  
It didn’t matter that he hadn’t heard many pianists before. It just mattered that Sirius could play, and he was beautiful.   
  
Remus’ mother had taught him a few rudimentary things growing up, but he could barely remember them now. He preferred to just listen to her.   
  
But hearing Sirius play almost made him wish he’d paid more attention to the lessons she used to give him.   
  
Sirius’ fingers seemed to be made for the piano. Long, slender, and brilliant at reaching for different keys and chords.   
  
He had a small smile on his face as he played and he seemed at ease for the first time in a long time.   
  
Sirius was naturally a very calm and collected person, but Remus knew that was only the exterior. On the inside, he knew Sirius could often feel trapped and caged. He was prone to pushing people away when he felt that way.   
  
It was different now, watching him play. It was almost as if he was letting every feeling that was cooped up inside his chest out, letting them seep through his fingers and dance over the ivory keys.  
  
When Sirius stilled, he looked up at Remus, and there was a hesitancy hidden there like he was worried that Remus would scold him.

  
“You play beautifully,” Remus said softly.  
  
“No I don’t, the tempo was all off in places and it took a minute to get used to playing again, it’s been so long-”  
  
“Sirius.” Remus interrupted. “You should have more faith in yourself. Where did you learn?”  
  
“My parent’s hired tutors. Not just for me, but my brother too. Regulus plays the violin. We used to play together for my parents sometimes, or for guests as something for our parents to show off when we were younger. As soon as I was Sorted, they stopped asking me to play. But they still asked Regulus to.” Sirius replied. “When I realized this place had a piano, for whatever reason, I started just messing around. I remembered everything. I think it’s the only thing that my parents ever forced me to do that I ever actually enjoyed.”   
  
“You should do it more often if it helps. You seemed … at peace. It’s nice to see you so relaxed.” Remus told him.  
  
“Yeah … maybe. If you want me to, I’ll teach you.” Remus beamed at him and nodded enthusiastically. “Come on. We should leave now before we get caught sneaking out of here. James took the Cloak with him, so we’ll have to be careful.”   
  
~  
  
Remus and Sirius avoided holding hands as they walked into the castle and sat on opposite sides of the table to each other, with Remus next to Peter and Sirius next to James.   
  
Remus yawned as he sat down, rubbing at his eyes tiredly and reaching for some toast. He winced slightly, his sprained fingers throbbing.  
  
“Are you alright, Remus?” Lily asked, sliding into the seat beside him. “What have you done to your fingers?”   
  
“Oh, I – um – last night, Sirius and James made a silly bet on who would be a better fighter without their magic and they started wrestling. I walked in on it when they were on the ground and thought they were fighting and tried to pull them apart, but my fingers got trapped in an awkward position under one of them in the scuffle, so Madame Pomfrey had to put them in a splint.” Remus lied.   
  
He hated lying to Lily. He always felt like a terrible friend. But lying about his condition was second nature to him by this point.  
  
Lily nodded and didn’t look like she completely believed what she was hearing, but she didn’t press. And for that, Remus was grateful.  
  
“So,” she said, looking across the table at James and Sirius, then over to Peter, who was munching on his toast slowly, eyes drooping. “What’s happened to make you four so tired?”   
  
“Oh, you know, up late planning our next extravaganza.” Sirius gave Lily his usual lopsided smirk.

Lies rolled easily of the tongues of the Marauders. They’d had to get used to telling them almost from the moment they started at Hogwarts to avoid getting in trouble for varying degrees of mischief.   
  
“Where’s Anna?” James asked suddenly, obviously trying to distract away from the real reason they’d had a late night. “I haven’t seen her in a few days.”  
  
“She’s ill apparently, according to Dorcas. Her and Marlene have been collecting her notes and taking her homework into lessons for her. Apparently, she’s been hiding away in her dorm room behind the curtains and refuses to come out. A lot of the girls think she’s waiting for some kind of magical mishap to go down before she shows her face.”   
  
“What, like boils?” Peter asked. “I know a good spell for that if she needs it.”   
  
“I’m not too sure if I’m honest. I think she’s due to show her face at some point today.” Lily shrugged. She looked at Remus. “So, I guess we know why you walked out on her at the Halloween party. And why you never asked her out on a date.”   
  
Remus quirked an eyebrow and poured himself a glass of apple juice and taking a bit out of his toast.   
  
“And why is that?” he asked once he’d swallowed.   
  
“Don’t play dumb with me, Remus.” Lily said. “I’ve heard-”  
  
“You know, I’m getting sick of hearing those words at the moment, so why don’t you just spit it out that Sirius and I have been the topic of everyone’s gossip?” Remus asked. Lily looked almost shocked to hear him be so blunt. “I’m not a fan of gossip on a normal day, but especially not when it comes to the private life of both myself and my friends. Lily, we’re good friends, are we not?” Lily nodded. “Be honest with me. Please don’t skirt around the topic, hoping that I’ll broach it first.”   
  
“You’re gay, aren’t you?” Lily asked quietly. Remus gave her a singular nod. “And – and you’re … you’re dating Sirius?” Another nod.   
  
Lily’s eyes flicked to Sirius, who, along with James and Peter, was pretending to pay attention to other things, the newspaper, a speck of dust floating through the air, the apparently very interesting woodwork on the tables, anything but Lily.   
  
“It doesn’t matter to me, Remus. I mean – I know it _matters_ , I’m happy you two have gotten together if that's what makes you happy. You being gay doesn’t change anything to me. You’re a great friend and I still love you like a brother. It doesn’t impact that in any way and I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about it.” Lily said, barely taking a breath.  
  
Remus was stunned for a few seconds, mouth open and eyes a little wide. And then, once it had all sunk in, he smiled, slinging an arm around Lily’s shoulders.  
  
“Thanks, Lily. That means a lot. It wasn’t anything to do with you, I just ... I never thought I’d end up with anyone, especially not Sirius. I never thought I’d have to tell anyone.” Remus said.   
  
“Enough sweet talk, you two!” James interrupted. “We’ve got a big day ahead. Come on, you two!” James and Sirius stood, heading out towards the entrance of the Hall. Peter and Remus exchanged twin looks of exasperation as they stood and followed their friends.  
  
~  
  
A prank was well underway as the Marauders raced through the corridors during their free period.  
  
“Meet in the West Corridor. Take different routes to distract Filch. The bombs will go off and Peeves will unscrew the chandelier near the Great Hall in ten minutes. We need to be well away from there by then.” James gasped, pulling the group to a stop at a junction between corridors.  
  
“No, not the West Corridor.” Remus panted. “Go to the Astronomy Tower. It’s further away, the teachers can’t blame us for a prank if Filch says he found us heading up there. But we should still split up. Use passageways.”   
  
“Moony’s right, we should go to the Tower instead,” Peter said. Familiar heavy footsteps echoed nearby and alarm crossed all of their faces.   
  
“It's Filch! _Split_!” Sirius hissed, taking off in one direction. Remus followed him, with Peter and James going the other way.   
  
At the next junction, Remus calculated both routes up to the Astronomy Tower.   
  
“Going left!” He warned. He raced ahead of Sirius, taking the next left, ducking around the wall and pulling aside the tapestry next to the corner, casting one last glance at Sirius, who had taken the right corridor and was pulling aside a similar tapestry to Remus.   
  
“Race you up there?” Sirius called.   
  
“You’re on, Black.” Remus grinned.   
  
“Twenty Galleons says I’ll beat you,” Sirius said.   
  
“Make it fifty and I’ll be interested.” Remus retorted.   
  
He’d been saving up all his birthday and Christmas money for years at the request of his parents, who knew how hard it would be for Remus to be financially stable after Hogwarts.   
  
Even the money he’d gotten from Muggle relatives had all been converted into wizard money and was safely stored in a hidden compartment in Remus’ trunk, not even known about by the Marauders.  
  
Remus had never opened a Gringott’s vault and preferred to keep all of his cash to hand, hence it being hidden. Fifty Galleons would be a welcome top-up in money.  
  
“Deal,” Sirius said.

He gave Remus a lopsided smile and blew him a kiss, both of them ducking into their respective secret passageways at the same time.   
  
Remus happened to love this passageway. It was narrower, which meant that Peter hated it. Peter and Sirius found it too claustrophobic and James preferred passageways closer to the main corridors. This was how Remus had gotten away with so many late-night trips up to the Astronomy Tower when he needed to think and didn’t want to be around his friends.  
  
Remus knew his way up to the Astronomy Tower blindfolded from here, so he found it easy to begin running again, hands out beside him, running alongside the walls, feeling the matching crevices that signified the approaching turn and grabbed onto the old sconce on the corner on the left-hand side for leverage to avoid crashing into a wall as he threw himself around the corner, feet never failing as they pounded across the cobblestones.  
  
A crossroads was coming up and he went right, running up the stone steps and taking another right.   
  
“Chocolate frogs!” Remus yelled, knowing that the picture ahead of him would drop to the ground at the sound of the phrase.   
  
This particular portrait was of a young couple from Italy. Remus had almost gotten trapped in the passageway when the picture frame refused to move when he’d been exploring each of the corridors from the crossroads in his fourth year.  
  
Remus had promised to spend time talking to them and giving them the attention they felt like they were entitled to and had been let out.   
  
So he had spent a few hours, spaced out across the next week, talking to the portrait during free periods, getting them to trust him enough to let him access this part of the passageway, and he was free to come and go as he pleased.   
  
He had explained how he enjoyed using it to get to the Astronomy Tower and have quiet time when he couldn’t sleep, and thought it was a very clever escape route for when Filch was getting in the way and the couple had seemed to take pity on him, as well as approving of Remus’ appreciation of the lesser-known passages.  
  
The couple had suggested a codeword for them to know it was Remus when he needed a quick getaway, so he’d come up with ‘chocolate frogs’.   
  
The portrait dropped, and Remus could see the light of the corridor.

This part of the passageway was more open than the rest and there was a ledge, just lower than Remus’ hips, right at the end, before a short drop to the ground, no higher than Remus’ chest.   
  
This was another reason why Remus loved this exit. If you knew where to look, there were little nooks for feet to lodge in that provided a way to climb into the passageway if you weren’t tall enough to just pull yourself in. The ledge alone was a perfect hiding place.  
  
His lungs were aching, head pounding and legs burning, but he put his last bit of energy into gathering as much speed as possible, vaulting over the small ledge and dropping to the ground.

He crouched when he landed, taking only a second to process the impact before he was turning, still crouched down, picking up the portrait and placing it back on its hook, keeping it straight to cover the hole, taking as long as he dared to make sure he got it perfect.   
  
Not even Filch had discovered this part of the interconnected tunnels to travel around the castle, and Remus would rather like to keep it that way.   
  
“Thank you!” He gasped, smiling at the couple and checking over both shoulders for teachers.

No Mrs Norris and no Filch. Not yet.   
  
Remus took a moment to breathe as he stepped back before running again, going straight ahead and taking the steps up to the Tower two at a time, feet clanging loudly on the steps.   
  
When he reached the top, he sat on the top step, feeling almost sick from the exhaustion. He was surprised how he'd managed it after the events of last night.   
  
But he’d gotten to the Tower without being caught.   
  
And had gotten there first. 


	16. Order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Sirius deal encounter some dislike towards their relationship and McGonnagall speaks to Remus about what happened with the Death Eaters

Remus stood after a few minutes, having regained some energy and his breath back. He shook out his arms, trying to dispel some of the restless, nervous energy residing throughout his body. 

His feet naturally drifted towards the wide, open window, taking care to stand a few steps back. It was windy today, and the last thing he wanted was to fall. 

Remus breathed deeply, smiling softly as the winter winds blew around him. It was a nice relief from the heat he felt from all the exertion. 

And then he felt warm arms wrap around him. Remus jumped, heart pounding, fear coursing through his blood, and the arms tightened. 

“Relax, it’s me.” A familiar voice said. Remus’ heart calmed and he turned, coming face to face with Sirius. 

“Bloody hell, Pads!” He exclaimed, punching him on the shoulder. “You scared the life out of me!” Sirius grinned and looped his arms around Remus’ neck, with Remus’ hands instinctively resting on his hips. 

“How long have you been here?” Sirius asked. 

“Not long, only a few minutes,” Remus replied. “Where are the others?”

“Pete got caught coming out of a passageway by Mrs Norris and he had to duck back into it to change into Wormtail and find another route so no one finds out about the Animagus thing. James should be here any minute now.” Sirius said. 

“Well, then I guess there’s only one last thing to address,” Remus said. When Sirius frowned, he continued,“ I believe there was a fifty Galleon bet in place?” 

Sirius sighed, muttering curse words under his breath, digging around in his pockets for cash. He deposited a handful of Galleons and Sickles into Remus’ hand. “I’ll have to give you the rest when we’re back in the dormitory.” 

“Thank Merlin you two are here!” Came James’ voice. Both Remus and Sirius looked towards the stairwell to see James and Peter emerging from the last few steps. “Who got here first?”

Remus raised his hand. “What do we do now?” he asked. 

“Dammit.” Peter cursed, handing five Galleons to James, who was smirking

“Wait until it all blows over.” James shrugged. “Filch is having a fit. Last I saw, he was talking to McGonnagall near the Charms classroom about us. McGonnagall told him that if he could find concrete proof that we were causing a problem, she’ll punish us, but until then, she can’t go off random assumptions.” 

“We have an hour and a half until lunch. I say we wait it out up here until then. Grab some parchment and a textbook.” Remus said. 

“You aren’t suggesting we do homework, Remus?” Peter moaned. 

“Of course not. But McGonnagall knows I come up here sometimes I need a moment to myself. If she happens to check, we need to throw her off the scent somehow. Just flip to a random page.” Remus said, taking a seat and summoning their bags from the dormitory. They came swinging through the open window, settling at the Marauders feet. 

~

The rest of the day passed slowly. 

When the Marauders made their way down to the Great Hall for dinner, Sirius tugged on Remus’ sleeve. 

“Can I hold your hand?” he whispered. 

Something in his eyes seemed to be off. There was a kind of vulnerability there, and a twinge of wildness that Remus recognized as Sirius’ more anxious behaviour rearing its head. 

Remus grabbed his hand and reassuringly dragged his thumb across Sirius’ knuckles, knowing that small gestures like that often helped Sirius to relax and to feel like he wasn’t so alone in this world.

Sirius gave him a grateful smile and they hurried to catch up with James and Peter, who were arguing about whether Odgen’s Firewhiskey was the best alcohol. 

Remus was painfully aware of the stares of some of the people they passed as they wandered down to the front of the Hall, sliding onto a bench beside James and Peter. 

“Why does it feel like everyone is staring at us?” Sirius muttered quietly. 

“Probably because a lot of them are,” Remus responded, spooning some food onto his plate. 

Even some of the Gryffindors that knew the Marauders well, who they would consider friends, were frowning at them. “Have you got a problem, Culkin?” Sirius snapped at Drew Culkin, a fifth-year who sold Sirius his cigarettes and whose sour face was pointed directly at them from a bit further down on the opposite side of the table. 

“Sirius, please, let’s not cause a ruckus over dinner,” Remus said, tapping Sirius’ wrist gently to gain his attention and trying to diffuse the situation. "I'm starving and don't want to have to drag you out of here before I've had a chance to eat."

“As a matter of fact, I have,” Drew said and Remus sighed. He really couldn’t ever get one moment of peace. He was exhausted. And hungry. The aftermath of the full moon had never had so many issues before. Remus supposed this was the universe’s punishment for him getting away with so many injuries during the night. “You two are wandering around the castle acting like two blokes holding hands is normal, like it’s somehow okay. You don’t think that’s a crap example to set to the first years?”

“Well, why are other blokes going around holding their girlfriend’s hands, then? You don’t think that’s a bad example to first years?” Sirius asked. “I’m not gonna stop holding my own boyfriend’s hand because it makes snotty little brats like you uncomfortable. I love him just like you and your mates love your girlfriends, so bugger off and leave Remus and I in peace, alright?” 

Remus went bright red at that, keenly aware that everyone could see him blushing and trying to avoid smiling. Sirius was very comfortable admitting how much he loved Remus in their dorm room and it always elicited this reaction.

“Alright, you’ve said your piece, Pads, now hush. Again, I’d rather like to have dinner tonight.” Remus said. “You might want to grab some of that chicken you like before Pete eats it all like he usually does.” 

There was an embarrassed, ‘ _hey!_ ’ from Peter and Sirius glared at Drew for a few more seconds, trying to decide on whether or not to back down. 

“Pass down some of that chicken, Pete.” He said finally, and Remus relaxed.

Sirius held his plate out towards Peter and Remus passed the plate down. Pete did as was asked, and Remus nudged Sirius gently with his elbow as he returned Sirius’ plate to him. When Sirius looked over to him, Remus just smiled softly, winked and mouthed, ‘love you too’. Sirius grinned, and the happiness reached his eyes. 

Remus carried on grabbing little bits of food to add to his plate, and as soon as he’d turned his head away, Sirius took the opportunity to lean in and plant a kiss on his cheek. 

“Soppy git.” Remus laughed, playfully pushing Sirius away. 

“Only for you, Moony, my love,” Sirius said sweetly. 

“ _Merlin_ , would you two pack it in? I don’t want to throw up all over my food. I’ve been waiting for this dinner all day.” James said through a mouthful of food. 

“Says the one showing his beloved food all chewed up for the whole table to see. How charming, James. You’ll definitely attract Lily with that look.” Remus replied dryly.

James looked at him and opened his mouth wide. Remus fake gagged at the sight of the food in his mouth. But deep down, he was grateful for the tension to have been broken by James’ comment. 

The last thing he needed right now was for people to start treating him differently because of the discovery of his sexuality and relationship with Sirius.

~

The attention that they received died down after a few weeks. James and Peter were always happy to jump in and prevent anything from escalating, but for the most part, it was stares and whispers. 

Gradually, over time, Sirius and Remus became more confident with holding each other’s hands in public. At first, Remus had been apprehensive, not wanting to provoke too much unwanted attention, but he found that having a reminder of Sirius being with him in a variety of ways was comforting. 

“Mr Lupin, would you stay behind after class, please?” McGonnagall asked during her finishing statement of the lesson. 

It was early March and his birthday was the following day. Remus had breathed a sigh of relief when he’d discovered that his birthday was after the full moon, having narrowly missed it by five days. 

“First of all, I would like to wish you a happy birthday for tomorrow. It’s a big day when a wizard or witch reaches seventeen.” McGonnagall started when the class had left. Remus beamed. 

“Thank you, Professor.” He said. 

“Secondly, if you remember, I was told by Mad-Eye Moody, from the Auror Office, that there was an incident at your grandmother’s house over Christmas.” 

Remus’ heart stopped. He’d almost completely forgotten about it. The Death Eaters, as Moody had called them.

“From my understanding, you took on four of the attackers at once while your father was dealing with another two that had tried to sneak in through the back door?” Remus nodded, frowning. 

If he was in trouble for casting magic outside of school, why wasn’t the Ministry getting involved, and why so _late_?

“The full report has come out. Moody has finally been able to tell us that these attackers were Death Eaters. Moody was emphatic that he gets you in the Auror training program, but I hope you won’t be angry at me when I say that I was obligated to tell him about your condition.”

“Of course, Professor. I told him I didn’t want to be an Auror. Who are these Death Eaters? Moody didn’t explain?” Remus replied. 

“Yes, he told me what you said. ‘They’re the cleanup crew,’ very clever of you.” McGonnagall chuckled, making Remus flush with embarrassment briefly. “Why did you never inform us that they were Death Eaters. We were aware that there was a Death Eater attack over Christmas, but not that it was on a student’s family.” 

“I thought the Aurors were handling it. I didn’t think it was important. I just wanted to forget all about it.” Remus shrugged. 

McGonnagall seemed slightly stumped at that. 

“Mr Lupin, I need to disclose something with you. Something that you cannot discuss with your friends,” she said stiffly. “There is a group of witches and wizards gathering to fight these Death Eaters. They’re serving a dark wizard named Voldemort. If you’ve been reading The Prophet lately, you may have seen the recent string of attacks on Muggle villages, as well as the disappearances of various wizards and witches. It’s long since been the plan to ask a few select Hogwarts students to join up once they’ve left Hogwarts. Your name, as well as those of your friends, have all been at the top of that list for the last eighteen months. I haven’t yet broached them, we were planning to ask next year. But with recent events-”

“I’ll join.” Remus blurted. “And you know what James and Sirius are like, they’d jump at the opportunity. Pete might be a little nervous about it, but he just gets scared about being overshadowed by other people when it comes to offensive magic. But he's amazing at sneaking around. He’s very light on his feet. I can talk to them for you if you’d like.” 

“Slow down, Mr Lupin. I would like to wait first. We’re very hesitant at getting students involved. It’s too risky and we cannot be putting any of you in danger while you’re in our care.” McGonnagall said. 

“Who’s ‘we’, Professor? Does Professor Dumbledore know about all of this? Does this group have a name? Who else is involved?” Remus asked. 

The fact that there could be some kind of group operating under Dumbledore’s nose made Remus anxious. 

The last thing he wanted was to be risking getting expelled from Hogwarts for something he knew very little about. He had so much to lose if he got involved. Performing pranks were harmless, but going up against fully-grown wizards without even knowing why was a _terrible_ idea, surely.

“Dumbledore is the leader of this group. He named it the Order of the Phoenix. A few Hogwarts Professors lend their skills but are not official members. There are a few faces that you may remember from years past, but for the most part, there are a lot of people that you won’t know.” McGonnagall said. “I know you say now that you wish to join, but nothing is permanent today. We may defeat the danger before it has a chance to rise any higher. But if not, you have over a year before we will let you officially join, so I encourage you to think long and hard about your decision while you still have a chance to back out should you wish. Understood?” 

Remus nodded. 

“Am I free to go now, Professor?” he asked. McGonnagall nodded and Remus turned to leave. He was joining. Deep down, he knew he would, and he was sure that McGonnagall knew that as well. 

“Oh, and Mr Lupin?” McGonnagall called. Remus looked over his shoulder at her. “Remember what I said. Do not mention this to your friends.” 

“Of course.” Remus smiled at her and began to walk towards the door of the classroom. 

As the door closed behind him, unbeknownst to the other, both were thinking the same thing. 

Remus was _definitely_ going to tell his friends.


	17. Regulus

Remus' arrival back at the dormitory was met with James, Sirius and Peter looking up from James' bed, prepared for the bad news. 

"What did McGonnagall want?" Peter asked. 

"She was just wishing me a happy birthday for tomorrow," Remus said, walking over to James' bed and sitting crossed legged on the end, Peter leant against the bedpost beside him, Sirius sprawled on his side on Remus' right and James sat against the headboard, arm rested on one leg bent, the other flat laid flat in front of him.

Remus wanted to wait to tell them about McGonnagall had said. He needed the chance to think about what he wanted to say before his friends chimed in with their decisions.

James and Sirius would want to join without a second's thought, and Pete would join too, after significant worrying, because he always tried to follow in James' footsteps. And Remus knew that there was no going back once they'd made their decision, McGonnagall had said so herself. 

"What else did she say?" James asked. Remus cursed internally. He sighed, frowning at his hands as they fiddled with his robes nervously. 

"Do you remember when we came back after the Christmas holidays and I told you that the attack on the Muggles that was all over the Prophet was on my mum's side of the family?" he said softly, looking up at them.

His friends pondered for a second just for a second before nodding.

"Mad-Eye Moody told McGonnagall about it. McGonngall told me that there's a group of people called the Order of the Phoenix fighting these Death Eaters, who are working for someone called Voldemort. The four of us have been on the list of people that McGonnagall and Dumbledore were going to ask to join the Order next year, but she mentioned it to me now since I've already taken four of them on. She didn't want me to tell you, but I think she knew I would anyway." Remus continued.

Remus had barely taken a breath throughout his ramble. He knew what the outcome would be. He knew that the others would want more answers than the ones he had, but the details wouldn't matter to them. They'd want to get out there and fight. 

"Wait, so ... is there some kind of secret war going on? One that the Ministry doesn't know about? How is that even possible?" Sirius asked. 

"I don't think it's a war. Not yet. The Order is trying to recruit people and find out what the other side want before it gets to that point. McGonnagall said that a decision shouldn't be made until we finish Hogwarts because things might be okay by then." Remus replied. 

"Who's this Voldemort bloke?" Pete inquired. 

"I don't know. I've never heard of him before." Remus shrugged. "According to McGonnagall, he's a dark wizard, which probably means he's a blood supremacist." There were a few seconds of silence as they all thought the same thing. 

If he was a blood supremacist, then he was likely tied to some of the Sacred Twenty-Eight families, the 'pure' families who had held significant wealth and power for centuries because they had kept their bloodlines pure for so many generations. 

The Black family were one of those families. If anyone was more useful to the Order, it would be the estranged, Gryffindor heir to the Blacks. 

James, Peter and Remus glanced at each other, unsure of who would be the one to ask.

"Sirius, did your parents ever mention him?" James talked slowly as he turned to address Sirius.

"It's very bold of you to assume that my parents ever told me anything about something as important as this." Sirius drawled. He seemed very relaxed ... _too_ relaxed for a conversation about his family. "All I ever heard from them was the usual crap that they tried to force down my throat. I had to marry some aristocratic pureblood girl, produce an heir and a spare to carry on the legacy, I had to ..." And then Sirius frowned. 

"What? What did you have to do?" Remus asked. 

"They did say something weird once," Sirius muttered. He sat up properly. "I was trying to sneak downstairs to get some food, they'd forced me to go without dinner, but they'd forgotten to lock the door. My parents were talking in the kitchen. Walburga was saying that it was my responsibility to find a potential wife as soon as possible so that I could marry as soon as I turned seventeen, take the Mark and begin service to the Dark Lord, that it was required of me and Regulus, but the stakes were higher for me because I'm the eldest. He was impressed by what he'd heard about my duelling skills, but he knew I was in Gryffindor. He wanted my parents to get me in line so he had powerful people in the younger generation to do spy work inside the castle, like some other families’ children."

"Padfoot, when did you hear this?" James' voice was full of alarm. 

"A few weeks before I got kicked out," Sirius said. "They ramped up the punishments after that night. Throwing furniture, slamming me into walls, choking me, starving me for days on end instead of just twenty-four hours. I never said anything because I just wanted to forget about it. I didn't want to tell you three how bad it had gotten leading up to me leaving. I didn't even remember the conversation had happened until just now." 

And then a thought crossed Remus' mind and his stomach turned.

"Sirius, you said that they'd mentioned Regulus as well, right?" Sirius nodded. "They disowned you. You may still legally be the eldest and their heir, but to them, your brother is now. If they have him to fall back on, _and_ he's in Slytherin, _and_ he's friends with Snape, who's friends with Mulciber, Lestrange and Rosier, all the children of other pureblood families-" 

"Oh my god, they're going to try to recruit Reg!" Sirius leapt off James' bed, running out of the dormitory. James, Peter and Remus followed, sprinting down the stairs and through the common room after him. 

"Padfoot, where are you going?" Peter called. 

"I have to find my brother!" Sirius yelled over his shoulder. 

"You can't just march up to him when you're like this! He'll lash out!" James yelled. 

"I can't let them do this to him! I can't let him think that this is the only way to live his life!" 

"We have to tell McGonnagall! Or - or Dumbledore! They'll know what to do. Regulus will hex you into next week if you go up to him now!" Peter panted. 

They were racing down different staircases, taking sharp twists to avoid waiting for the next set of stairs to come around and leaping onto the next available ones until they reached the main part of the castle. 

"I don't care, Pete!" Sirius stopped then, right in the middle of a corridor, turning to face them. The other three stopped, leaning against the wall and bending over, hands braced on their knees, wheezing. "He's my baby brother, he's my responsibility, I have to protect him! I left him in that house by himself. I should've done something, found somewhere for us both to go together, I should've gotten him out." 

"James, Peter, go to McGonagall's office and tell her what we've realized. I'll go with Sirius." Remus panted. 

"Remus-" James started.

" _Go_!" Remus ground out through gritted teeth, looking at James. He could tell by the way Peter seemed to shrink back that there was a hint of the wolf in his eyes. No matter what time of the lunar cycle it was, Moony was there.

He was weak after the full moon, but he was still underneath Remus' skin, ready and waiting to spring, to give Remus the burst of strength he needed. James seemed to deliberate for only a second, his first instinct to butt heads like any other alpha male, as someone that usually commanded so much attention and energy, and then he backed down. He knew that if he accompanied Sirius, there was no guarantee that he would be able to pull Sirius back, especially not if he was surrounded by other Slytherins. 

Deep down, James knew that he hated the Slytherins enough to be provoked just as much as Sirius. It would take longer for Remus to get riled up.

And even though there was a rivalry between the Gryffindors and Slytherins, there was universal respect for Remus. People from every House knew that, despite being immensely proud of being in Gryffindor and being so close with Peter, James and Sirius, Remus was the one that everyone was glad to see if there was trouble.

His naturally calm attitude mediated most things. If he couldn't mediate something, his sharp and witty tongue was often enough to make anyone feel guilty about their actions. Remus could be trusted to keep Sirius levelheaded. 

"Come on, Pete," James said finally, dragging Peter down the corridor towards McGonnagall's office. 

"Let's go find Regulus," Remus said to Sirius.

~

They checked the Slytherin common room first. They'd spied on the Slytherins enough to know which stretch of stone hid the common room. 

"Pure-blood." Sirius tried. 

"We've already tried that one," Remus said. Sirius cursed.

"Blood purity?" Sirius said. "Mudblood. _Filthy_ Mudblood?" When the door still didn't open, Sirius cursed again. "The first and only times I say the word 'Mudblood' and it doesn't even get me into a common room full of people who think it's acceptable." 

Footsteps echoed down the corridor and both of them turned to see Professor McGonnagall rounding the corner, James and Peter following them. 

"I thought we'd find you two down here. I hear you're searching for Mr Black the younger?" McGonnagall asked. Both Remus and Sirius nodded. "What for?"

"James and Peter didn't tell you?" Sirius asked. 

"No," McGonnagall said. "They just told me that you were worried that there was some kind of abuse going on with your brother, both inside the castle and outside of it." 

"That's right, Professor. I remembered a conversation I overheard our parents have over the summer and told James, Peter and Remus about it. I was worried that Regulus had been encouraged to get involved with dangerous people because I don't live with my parents anymore and I can't protect him from those ideas. I feel guilty that I didn't take him with me. I just want him to be safe."

Sirius seemed oddly vulnerable then, and Remus knew that there was no flair of drama and no exaggeration in his words. For all of his cockiness, Sirius could never hide the size of his heart and how deeply he cared for those he had in his inner circle.

It was truly a blessing to be so close to someone who loved so hard, cared so deeply, who would do anything for those people he chose.

McGonnagall seemed to notice that as well, and something in the way she looked at Sirius changed. She gestured for them to give her some space, which Remus and Sirius obliged her, and she put her hand against the stone, muttering something. The stone shifted to reveal the Slytherin common room. 

"Wait here," McGonnagall instructed before gliding inside.

~

Sirius swallowed heavily as he struggled to sit still in Dumbledore's office. McGonngall was stood by Dumbledore's seat, which was empty. Dumbledore hadn't arrived yet, he was doing something else around the castle. Regulus was in a seat only three feet away, refusing to look Sirius in the eye. He'd been stubbornly silent the entire walk up to Dumbledore's office.

"Now then, you two." Dumbledore's voice sounded. Sirius and Regulus barely had time to turn to look at him before he was at his desk. For someone who was in his older years, he was remarkably fast on his feet. "What seems to be the issue?"  
  
"You tell me. I've not done anything wrong, I was sat in my common room and Professor McGonnagall burst in and told me I was wanted in your office." Regulus sulked. 

"Come now, Regulus, you're what? Fourteen?"

"Fifteen." Sirius and Regulus corrected at the same time. Sirius grinned over at his brother, seeing a small trace of a smile tracing its way across his mouth.

"Fifteen, sorry." Dumbledore amended. "But my point is, you're not too much of a child anymore. You're doing your O.W.Ls next year, and the year after that, you're an adult. Staff will start treating you a little more like an adult each year, we try to give you a little more leeway with your decisions so that you can learn things for yourself, but also know that your mistakes are because you're young and still learning. This is just a conversation discussing some concerns between adults. Do you understand?" 

Regulus nodded and seemed to relax.

"What seems to be the problem, Professor?" Dumbledore leaned back and looked up at McGonnagall. 

"Sirius is slightly concerned of potential abuse going on within the castle, as well as some going on at home," McGonnagall said. 

"Is this true, Sirius?" Dumbledore asked. 

"Yes, Professor," Sirius said. Dumbledore gestured for him to continue and Sirius sent a worried look towards his brother before shifting in his seat slightly. "Well, I'm sure you know that I left home involuntarily last year, sir."

"Yes, Phineas told me. He visited his portrait in Grimmauld Place." Dumbledore said. "When you say you involuntarily left, Sirius, what exactly do you mean?"

"Walburga and Orion kicked me out," Sirius said flatly. 

"Mum and Dad." Regulus corrected. 

"Well, they're not my parents anymore, are they? They disowned me, blasted me off the bloody tapestry. Besides, they're crap parents, Orion may have gotten Walburga up the duff and she may have given birth to us, but I practically raised both of us because they did such a shitty job." Sirius snapped.

"Language, Mr Black." McGonnagall chided. 

"Sirius, continue with what you were telling me, please. This is a very serious accusation and I'd like to make sure I get the full story as accurate as possible" Dumbledore coaxed. Sirius smirked and there was a glint of humour behind Dumbledore's eyes, showing that he had likely deliberately picked his words to make Sirius smile. 

"Where do you want me to start, Professor?" Sirius asked, feeling more at ease and more comfortable finally talking about his family than he had in a long time.


	18. Dumbledore's Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Marauders get their first mission.

"Where do you want me to start, Professor?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Let's start with the supposed abuse within the castle, that can be dealt with more efficiency," Dumbledore said. "Tell me everything, Sirius."  
  
"I'm worried that people in Slytherin are using Regulus' naivety and inexperience against him and grooming him to think that pure-blood mania ideas are the only way he can make our family proud, that he can't live his life any other way than what our families tell us. I don't want him getting involved in anything dangerous while he's young and then finds out too late that he can't get out of it." Sirius said.   
  
"What kind of ideas?" McGonnagall asked.   
  
"A lot of the people that Regulus spends time with are from other pure-blood families and I know the kind of things the Slytherin families spout to their children. Our parents tried to force those views ono me before I left and I feel terrible that I didn't fight to get Regulus out either." Sirius said.   
  
"And what's brought the sudden fear for your brother's safety? What about the family situation?" Dumbledore asked. Sirius glanced towards Regulus, saw him shift in his seat slightly under the gaze.   
  
"They used to hit me. Before I left." Sirius said softly, looking back to Dumbledore and McGonnagall. "I'm scared that they're doing the same to Regulus because I'm not there anymore. I used to take the fall for anything wrong that happened in the house so they wouldn't hit him. And I overheard them having a conversation about something over the summer that ties in with the Slytherins."   
  
McGonnagall and Dumbledore simply gave him matching raised eyebrows, wanting him to carry on, and for the first time, Sirius was almost scared.   
  
He couldn't admit to what he'd heard from his parents with Regulus in the room. If he'd already been brainwashed into believing the crap that his parents spouted, then Sirius couldn't risk the revelation of a counter group opposing Voldemort, the Dark Lord, whatever, to him.   
  
"Professor Dumbledore, if you don't mind, I would be more comfortable discussing the context of the discussion with Professor McGonngall. It has to do with a certain conversation she had with Remus earlier." Sirius kept his eyes on McGonnagall as he said it, hoping that she understood the meaning in his words, the urgency behind his eyes.   
  
"I don't know why I'm surprised that Mr Lupin spoke to you about it. I'm assuming Potter and Pettigrew know as well?" Sirius nodded. “And can your response be as expected?”   
  
“Mine can. You’ll have to talk to James and Pete privately, they might feel differently when they’ve not got me around. We tend to try and outmatch each other and I don’t want them to make their decision based on what mine is.” Sirius said. McGonnagall smiled briefly, a small quirk of the lips, happy with his answer.   
  
“Very well. These are, as Professor Dumbledore said, very serious allegations. You understand that, without some kind of photographic evidence or witness, it would be highly unlikely that we would be able to remove Regulus from your parent’s care. As I’m sure you’re aware, your family have a significant amount of power, and that battle would be a very difficult one, even with evidence.” McGonnagall said slowly; as if knowing that this would disappoint Sirius.   
  
Sirius had been prepared for this response, but part of him still deflated. It wasn’t fair. His family shouldn’t have that power, they should’ve been stripped of it long ago. They were dangerous.   
  
“I know, Professor, but I – I don’t know what else to do. When they kicked me out, they pretty much shoved me out the front door with the clothes I was wearing and my broom. I never got the chance to grab Regulus and bring him with me, they’d sent him upstairs and locked him in his room. Something needs to be done!” Sirius said, voice cracking at multiple times.   
  
“Sirius is being dramatic. They only times they ever hit him was when he was actively posing a threat, he would scream and throw candles, throw plates and food, they had to restrain him somehow! It wasn't nearly as bad as he makes out. They were trying to do what was best to keep us all safe” Regulus argued.   
  
Sirius’ head snapped to Regulus in horror and disbelief.   
  
“So the time Dad forced you to watch as Mum whipped me with a belt when I was eight and you were six was _my_ fault? Or what about when I came home for my first Christmas after starting Hogwarts and they beat me within an inch of my life for being Sorted into Gryffindor? They wouldn’t let Kreacher clean the wounds for three days. The wounds got infected and they let me starve and go without water the entire time. I nearly _died_ , Regulus! I've nearly died hundreds of times before the age of eleven because of them. I will bear the scars that came from them for the rest of my life and you’re really sitting here defending them?!”   
  
Sirius could feel the hot, angry tears threatening to spill.   
  
“Regulus, will you return to your common room? I’ll send word to Professor Slughorn to send you here another time when we can talk about this on your own. I think this conversation is a little too emotional for the both of you to be having while in the same room. Sirius, if you’ll stay, we can discuss the conversation you overheard last summer if you aren’t too upset?” Dumbledore said.  
  
Sirius unclenched his hands, only just realizing that they’d formed into fists, knuckles turned white and fingernails biting into his palms. He forced the tears back.   
  
“No, of course not, Professor.” He said. Dumbledore turned back to Regulus.   
  
“Thank you for cooperating, Regulus. I hope we can continue this streak when I next call for you.” He said kindly.   
  
Regulus nodded, understanding that this was a dismissal. He stood, stuffed his hands into his pockets and didn’t look at Sirius as he left.   
  
While Sirius relayed the conversation he’d overheard his parents having during the summer, it was hard not to notice the signs of distress on his professor’s faces.   
  
“I should have said something sooner, I know. It was a few weeks before they kicked me out. They … the … ‘punishments’ got worse after that. I think they believed that if they got worse, my self-preservation tactic would kick in and I’d give in to them. But I couldn’t do it. It was awful, the things they said, the things they did, I’ve not even told the others. I don’t think I ever could, not without them storming the house and razing it to the ground with my parents still inside. I don’t think even Remus would stop them. He’d be the one leading the charge. I should have mentioned it, but I just wanted to forget them, I just wanted to pretend that I’d left on my own accord. I’m sorry.”

Sirius couldn’t meet the eyes of his professors, hating the flush in his cheeks and the misty look to his eyes.   
  
“You’ve told us now, which I’m grateful of. Things are still relatively calm and under control regarding Voldemort’s followers. Knowing that he’s recruiting pure-blood families and brainwashing the children to be spies inside the castle, that gives us an advantage.” McGonnagall said.   
  
“Sirius, I must stress the importance of yours and your friends’ silence regarding the Order and the nature of this conversation. There is a mark that can identify the Death Eaters, referred to as the Dark Mark, that may help us in identifying if they’ve managed to infiltrate Hogwarts.” Dumbledore said.   
  
“What does it look like?” Sirius asked. “I can tell the others, though, right? They know about the Order, they need to know about this. I don’t want them getting hurt because they didn’t know what they were looking for.”  
  
“The Mark consists of a snake coiled around a skull. Tell only the other Marauders. Not Miss Evans, nor Miss Michaels – don’t pull that face, Mr Black, I’m aware of the dislike for her, but she is still Mr Lupin’s fellow Prefect and his friend –” McGonnagall replied.  
  
“Not anymore, she’s not,” Sirius muttered.   
  
“They’re no longer getting along?” Dumbledore asked.   
  
“No, sir. Annalise was being cruel towards James and Remus after the Christmas party incident, so Remus threatened to hex her if she ever came near Remus for anything other than for Prefect duties. She saw Remus and I on Valentine’s Day down at the Broomsticks, we’d reserved a table. She holed herself up in her room for a few days afterwards. I don’t ask about her to Remus, it makes him tense, and he says I get grumpy whenever she’s mentioned or if I see her.” Sirius admitted.   
  
Faint smiles of amusement came from McGonnagall and Dumbledore.   
  
“Yes, I can imagine that the protective streak the two of you had as friends only got stronger as you took the plunge into a relationship. Oh well, Mr Black, I’m sure Annalise and Remus will sort it out eventually, once the school has gotten over its heartbreak of having two of the most popular boys in school turn out to be inclined towards each other. As I understand it, one half of the school is mourning for their chance with you and the other envious of you for winning over Mr Lupin.” Dumbledore chuckled.   
  
“What can I say, Professor? I’m irresistible, even to the most sensible of individuals.” Sirius quipped.   
  
“And yet, the mischief and restlessness in lessons have decreased since your relationship developed. It rather seems like Mr Lupin has had far more of an influence on you than you have had on him. Anyone could have seen the affection you two have for each other. In fact, many of the other Professors and I had bets on how long it would take for you two to realize and act on it.” Dumbledore laughed. Sirius grinned.   
  
“Who won?” he asked.  
  
“I did. I know how anxious Mr Lupin can be, and how concerned you would be for making him uncomfortable. Ergo, the sixth year seemed like the perfect time. ” Professor McGonnagall said, a look of pride in her eyes. “I’m also counting on Miss Evans finally giving in to Mr Potter by Christmas this year.” Sirius couldn’t help but laugh.   
  
“Prongs’ll be lucky if he manages to do it such a short time.” He said.   
  
“I’m glad we could have this conversation, Sirius. Please, do tell the others what we’ve spoken about, and I would like all of you to keep an eye out for the Mark. If you do see it, your first port of call is me or Professor McGonnagall. There will be no sleuthing, no investigating, no brawls or duels. You four are not official members of the Order and I do not wish to place that pressure on your shoulders until the end of your final year when there is not so much still at stake for all of you. Understood?” Dumbledore said.   
  
There was no hiding the tone in Dumbledore’s voice. He would know if anything was going on in the castle walls, and yet Sirius couldn’t help but think that he surely had to act if he saw something wrong. In the time it would take to report to Dumbledore or McGonagall, some kind of problem could occur, and Sirius would be to blame for not taking action.   
  
Sirius vowed to himself, trying to keep his expression neutral, to not go seeking out the danger, but to not shy away from it either. If it presented itself, he would have his wand at the ready. He would know what to do and he’d do the right thing. He couldn’t save Regulus from his parents at the moment, but he still had over a year to try and get him away from the influences around him. He could still save his brother.   
  
And so, to avoid suspicion, Sirius matched Dumbledore’s intense gaze and said, “Of course, Professor,” before taking his leave.   
He took his time going back to Gryffindor Tower, mulling over everything that had been said while in Dumbledore’s office and finally letting the reality of it all set in. They were being asked to spy, more or less.   
  
Dumbledore had said not to investigate, but it would be hard for them all, knowing what they knew. There was so much more to the story, Sirius knew. But he doubted he’d get the full story for a while yet.   
  
He had to tell the others, let them know what to look out for. There was no doubt about that.   
  
When Sirius reached the Tower, he breezed through the common room, trying to make himself seem worry-free.

He had a reputation after all, and if it got around that the Black brothers had both been called into the Headmaster’s office, as it now likely would thanks to the Slytherins, he didn’t want people to think anything bad had happened, that anything worrying was in the air.   
  
He took the stairs to the dormitory two at a time, reclining on his bed and relishing in the silent looks piercing into him.   
“So?” Peter broke the silence.   
  
“So, what, Pete?” Sirius sighed, looking up at the canopy of his bed.   
  
“What happened in Dumbledore’s office?” Remus asked.   
  
“What makes you think anything of note happened? I’m very relaxed, am I not? Do I look the kind of person stressing about-”  
  
“Cut the shit, Padfoot.” James interrupted. “If you were half as relaxed as you claimed to be, you would be sprawled out across Moony or taking up all the room on my bed. That’s what you always do after lessons. The fact that you’ve gone straight to your bed means you’re already trying to isolate yourself from us. What happened?”   
  
Sirius paused for a few seconds, letting himself breathe out his tension before relaying everything.   
  
When he was done, there was a violent round of curses from all three of his friends.  
  
“So this is it, then? We’re pretty much spies for the Order.” Peter said, mirroring Sirius’ earlier thoughts.   
  
“I suppose so. Dumbledore and McGonnagall would encourage us not to think like that, but it’s hard not to, not with what they’re asking us to do.” Sirius said, worrying his lip with his teeth.   
  
Remus was there then, settling on Sirius’ bed and gently relieving Sirius’ lip from the onslaught of his teeth with his thumb before grabbing Sirius’ hand and squeezing tightly, knowing that he was scared.   
  
Not scared of the danger they might be getting involved in. Remus knew deep down that Sirius loved the thrill of danger, loved the feeling of adrenaline and thrum of life in his veins that came with doing something that could come with consequences.   
  
He also knew that the fear was for the safety of those around him, that he wouldn’t be able to protect them, wouldn’t be able to save Regulus in time, that he would become poisoned against Sirius completely. He knew that Sirius wanted to act, and act now. To race to Grimmauld Place, pack up everything in Regulus’ room and take it somewhere safe. Anywhere was safer than that house.   
  
“Well then, lads. I know Dumbledore said not to go investigating, but if we’re going to be bona fide spies for a secret organization that we’re not technically allowed to join yet but still kind of involved in, we may as well get to work.” James said grimly; as if he knew exactly what Sirius was thinking.   
  
“What do you mean?” Peter asked.   
  
“I say we put those sneaky skills of ours to good use and start thinking of ways to catch them out. Start picking targets from high up pureblood families in fifth, sixth and seventh year, planning how to catch them out with their robe sleeves rolled up.” James replied, standing and beginning to pace in the same urgent way as he did when they were planning pranks. “We can’t just sit around and wait for it to happen. We need to be proactive and get names as soon as possible. If the students are involved, then so are the families. That means parents, cousins, and potentially younger siblings. Sirius, I’m gonna need the names of every single relative of the Lestranges, the Snapes, the Rosiers and the Mulcibers that you can think of.”   
  
“Druella Rosier is my aunt,” Sirius said immediately.   
  
“Wait, what?” James asked, doing a double-take.   
  
“Yeah. She married my uncle Cygnus, my mum’s younger brother. He’s the middle child, Alphard was the youngest and he got blasted off the tapestry a few years ago, long before my cousin ‘Dromeda and I did. You remember me mentioning my cousins Bellatrix, Andromeda and Narcissa?”  
  
“The crazy one, the one that got married to a Muggle-born and the other one.” Peter recounted.   
  
“Well, Bellatrix, the eldest, is engaged to Rodolphus Lestrange after he finishes Hogwarts. Narcissa is married to Lucius Malfoy, and ‘Dromeda, she’s got a little girl, Nymphadora, but she’s only five and she’s a half-blood. But their mother is a Rosier. And my maternal grandfather, Pollux, his wife is Irma Crabbe, so the Crabbes are technically my cousins as well, but they’re not as closely related to me as the Rosiers are. We’ve mastered the whole ‘tactical marriage thing over the last couple of centuries.” Sirius said.   
  
“So that puts quite a lot of the people we go to school with as suspects. That puts them in direct contact with this Voldemort guy, right, if they’re connected to the Blacks?” James asked uncertainly. He didn’t want to anger Sirius at the idea of his family orchestrating so much darkness in the world.  
  
“Right, so all of them are possible Death Eaters in training.” Sirius agreed, and James visibly relaxed. “Okay, lads. This may be our biggest challenge yet; bigger than any prank we’ll ever do. Time to put all of our experience to good use and start catching these fuckers out.”   
  
“Moony, Wormtail, are you in?” James asked, casting looks between Peter and Remus worriedly. Sirius was doing the same but trying to hide it.   
  
Remus knew that neither of them wanted to pressure him and Peter into anything, but could also sense the immense sense of hope hanging in the air.   
  
“Who knows, you might need someone who can get into small spaces and sneak around as a harmless little rat.” Peter joked, a slight sense of anxiety in his eyes, but otherwise, a brave façade masking his features.   
  
And then the eyes were on Remus and he could tell they all knew the answer before he’d even spoken.  
  
“Well, I’m not going to let you have all the fun on your own, now, am I?” Remus said, cracking a confident smile.   
  
And so began the planning of the biggest challenge to their mischievous natures thus far.


	19. Snape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snape's position in the conflict is revealed

It took a few days before they felt ready to start putting their plans into action. During which, Sirius had noted down as many names as he could remember, jotting down various students and how they were related to both his family and others in the pureblood community.   
  
Peter had used his free time to mark out popular hangout spots among the Slytherins in fifth, sixth and seventh year that didn’t include their common room, scuttling around as Wormtail through passageways and in the shadows. It was no surprise when the news erupted of a possible rat infestation with the amount of time he spent as his animal counterpart.   
  
James had been jotting down ideas and scenarios to get the Slytherins to remove robes and roll their sleeves up. Remus had been helping James, researching powerful heating spells that would force all students and staff within an immediate area to get overheated quickly.   
  
But so far, they had drawn a blank. There were very few situations that would lead towards it.   
  
“What about tailing them on a Hogsmeade trip?” Remus asked.  
  
“In front of so many people? Dumbledore and McGonnagall will know we’re interfering if the news gets out of students getting matching tattoos of a skull and a snake. They’ll know that we forced their hand somehow.” James sighed.   
  
Remus rubbed his face with his hand. His brain was completely fried.   
  
“What about using that heating charm in the Potions classroom and then spilling something near them by accident? It might make them roll their sleeves up so they don’t get their uniforms dirty while trying to mop things up.” Sirius suggested from across the room.   
  
He was sprawled out on his bed, scribbling even more names of possible suspects.  
  
The vast tapestry of Slytherins that were connected to the Blacks and other influential families like the Lestranges and Malfoys were hard to recall in just a few hours, so Sirius had reluctantly taken out a book from the library on family trees. He had remembered as many off the top of his head as he could and hated that there were people that he had forgotten.   
  
Not all of them were students at Hogwarts, but any names out in the world that might help the Order was useful.

  
Peter was out and about, hopefully not getting chased down and eaten by Mrs Norris as Wormtail and had been gone for at least an hour. James and Remus were pouring over their own pieces of parchment.   
  
“That could work.” Remus mused.   
  
“But we can’t do it to all of them. It’s a little suspicious.” James pointed out.  
  
“Some confirmations are better than none.” Sirius said. James hummed in agreement and ran the tip of his quill against his mouth lightly, thinking hard.   
  
“Okay, we can start there. It’ll have to be sixth years we target, then, since we’re in classes with them. Who do we go for?” James asked.  
  
“You and I could go for Lestrange and Remus and Peter could go for Rosier?” Sirius said.   
  
James and Sirius shared a worktop with Lestrange and Lily, while Remus and Peter shared one with Alyssa Carmichael from Hufflepuff and Rosier.   
  
“Yeah, okay. That’s what we’ll do.” James said, trying to seem confident. Remus could see the apprehension behind his eyes, knowing that he understood how difficult this might be and how it could cause more trouble than they were ready for.   
  
Before Remus or Sirius could respond to his anxiety, Peter burst into the room, coughing and spluttering, out of breath, face red.   
“I just saw …” Peter stopped to wheeze and cough. “Snape. He has one. He was writing something, he didn’t have his robes on, he had his sleeves pushed up.”   
  
“Where is he?” Sirius asked. James, Sirius and Remus had sprung to their feet at the announcement.   
  
“By the Great Hall. When I noticed it, I came back here as quickly as I could. I turned back at the Fat Lady’s portrait. But I saw him while I was cutting through passageways, he’s on his way here.”  
  
“What?! Why?!” James asked.   
  
“I don’t know, James! I didn’t exactly stop to interrogate him! People tend to try and kick the shit out of me when I’m Wormtail.” Peter exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exasperation.   
  
“Come on lads, let’s get down to the portrait, we might be able to catch a glimpse,” James said, hurrying out of the dorm with the other three Marauders hot on his heels.

They sped down the stairs, pushing through the common room and coming out of the tunnel just in time to see Snape ascending the stairs towards the Fat Lady.   
  
He froze when he saw the Marauders gathered in front of the portrait. His sleeves were still rolled up, and there it was, clear as day. Snape had clearly been so overwhelmed with writing on the parchment clutched in his hands that he’d forgotten to hide it.   
  
The castle was quiet now, with very few students wandering around now that dinner was done and lessons were over. He was lucky no one else had spotted it.  
  
The Marauders didn’t focus in on it, made it look like they were staring at the parchment in Snape’s hand rather than his mark.   
“What brings you to our neck of the woods, Snivellus?” James asked with a crooked smile.  
  
“James, give it a rest,” Remus said, a warning tone evident in his voice. He tried to smile at Severus. “What brings you up here, Severus?”   
  
“I – I was just going to give something to someone, but I won’t be able to get into the common room, will I?” Snape asked.   
  
“We can deliver it if you want? If it’s a Gryffindor you need to give something to, I mean.” Peter suggested. Snape’s lips pinched together in a tight line and he seemed wary.   
  
“It’s understandable if you don’t want to give it to these two,” Remus said, jerking his head towards Sirius and James. “We were just gonna have a wander around the castle for a bit. We’ve been cramming for that Potions test we’ve got coming up all day and needed to get out of our dorm before we went crazy. Peter and I would be more than happy to keep ahold of whatever it is until we get back to the common room. Complete discretion, of course. Who is it for?”   
  
Snape hesitated, looking down at the parchment in his hand and holding it up.   
  
“I was going to give this to Lily. I was hoping I’d see her on the way up here, but I think she might be inside the Tower. If I give it to you, do I have your word that you won't read it?” Snape asked, eyes hard and jaw clenched in protectiveness.   
  
It was no secret that all four Marauders believed that Snape was obsessed with Lily. He fancied her quite a lot. He had butted heads with James a lot over it. It was an insult to injury that the boy who teased him mercilessly also had eyes for the same girl.   
  
But Snape and Lily had fallen out dramatically at the beginning of the sixth year when Snape had called Lily a Mudblood in a fit of anger. Lily had hit him so hard he’d had a black eye for a week.  
  
It had been another three weeks before Snape had tried to speak to her again, and then Lily had given him another black eye. Snape had tried to hide it, but everyone could see under the thin layer of magic that there was deep purple and blue bruising around his eye on both occasions.  
  
As far as the Marauders knew, Lily and Snape hadn’t spoken since.  
  
“I swear it,” Remus said earnestly, meaning it. Snape hesitated again, looking down in the parchment before extending his hand towards Remus. Remus smiled and took the letter, tucking it into his robe pockets. “Come on, lads, I’d rather like to get out of the dorm for a bit. See you later, Severus.” He said, leading the way up a set of stairs that pressed against the wall next to the Fat Lady.   
  
Snape nervously watched them go before turning around and descending the stairs, returning to the dungeons.   
  
“Moony, let’s have a look at the letter.” James hissed.   
  
“No, it’s none of our business,” Remus said.   
  
“What do you mean, it’s none of our business? Lily’s a friend! That could have … I don’t know, abetos or anthrax sprinkled on it!” Sirius exclaimed. Remus hushed him, casting a glance over the bannister, hoping that Snape hadn’t heard Sirius’ outburst.   
  
“First of all, Pads, it’s _asbestos_ , second of all, it would take anywhere from four days to six weeks for symptoms of asbestos poisoning or an anthrax infection to occur. And we’d be more likely to get it than Lily, I doubt she’d do anything more than burn the letter without reading it.” Remus replied. They’d stopped in an alcove at the top of the staircase, gathered in a small huddle.   
  
“Whatever!” Sirius said. “We should read it!”  
  
“We should go to Dumbledore’s office,” Peter said anxiously.   
  
“Peter’s right,” Remus added.   
  
“We need to wait until we get a closer look at Lestrange, Rosier and Mulciber,” James said.  
  
“We won’t be able to get all three at once,” Remus said. “It’s impossible!”   
  
“Nothing is impossible when you’re a Marauder, Moony, you should know this by now,” Sirius replied, patting Remus on the cheek lightly. “Now come on, either hand over the letter or read it out yourself. Either way, we have to know what it says. For Lily’s sake. He could be declaring that he’s a Death Eater and wants her to run away with him for all we know, and if she burns the letter with none of us having read it, we’ll never know if there’s information that could help the Order.”   
  
Sirius made a very good point, and Remus did want to read the letter. But he couldn’t help but feel guilty if he lied right to Snape’s face after letting so many years of Sirius and James’ taunts and teases go slide without protest.   
  
“Come on, Moony, you know we’re right,” James said softly.   
  
“Damn you both,” Remus growled, taking the parchment from his pocket and unravelling it.   
  
_“Lily,  
_  
 _I know I haven’t been the greatest friend and I haven’t made much of an effort to make things right the last few months, but in truth, I didn’t know how to make it up to you.  
_  
 _You’re my best friend and I care about you dearly, I said what I said out of anger and frustration at Potter and his pathetic friends. I was so sick of them, Lil! Pettigrew gets teased by them just as much as me and doesn’t want to be the butt of the joke, Potter is a jealous prick, Black has an insatiable need to defy his family by treating all Slytherins like shit and Loony Lupin is too frightened of losing his only real friends to stand up to them.  
_  
 _But I need to tell you something. Something important. I’ve had so many life-changing revelations and secrets been revealed to me in the past year, more so in the last few months. I’ve been hiding them from you until I could rationalize them and verbalize them properly.  
_  
 _The biggest one comes in the form of Lupin’s true nature. I know that you’re friends with Lupin, and I know this will be a shock to hear, but last summer something happened that changed my perception of him forever. Everyone thinks of him as innocent and exasperated at his friends, as the brains of the Marauders and the perfect Prefect who manages to keep every conflict civil._  
  
 _But they’re all wrong. Black told me how to get past the Whomping Willow last summer and told me to go down there on a specific date. It only confirmed suspicions I’d had for a long time. The specificity of the date was important. It was a full moon that night. I saw Lupin transformed. He’s a werewolf, Lil! He’s a danger to you and the rest of the school._  
  
 _And that’s why I want to encourage you to take the same opportunity that I have. I’ve been given the chance to join a select few witches and wizards to bring about some real change in our world, starting with some work done within the castle with other fellow students._  
  
 _Word has gotten to our leader that you’re incredibly talented in so many areas of magic (which is completely true!) and he wants you to join us. He has asked for you specifically and has made exceptions for you as the only Muggle-born in our group. It would mean a lot to me if you would consider it and respond, even if it’s only in letter form.  
  
I would be grateful. All you would have to do is take our mark and keep an eye on some fellow students for odd behaviour. There’s suspicion of a counter group rising that doesn’t want to see progress, they want to forever be stuck in the past._  
  
 _I’m asking as someone who still considers you a dear friend._  
  
 _With my genuine affection,_  
  
 _Your Severus,”_  
  
Remus cursed and heard the Marauders echo his sentiment.   
“He’s fucking outed me as a werewolf.” Remus hissed, still scanning over the words over and over again.   
  
“That’s it, we have to tell Dumbledore!” Peter said. “We have to go now!”   
  
“But Lily deserves to know about this letter, it’s not right to keep it from her. If someone wrote a letter like this addressed to us, we would want to know about it before it reached Dumbledore, wouldn’t we?” Remus said.   
  
“It’s not right to keep what letter from me?”   
  
The Marauders’ heads snapped to their right and saw Lily and Annalise facing the alcove they were stood in.   
  
“Don’t just stand there and dither!” Lily exclaimed. Remus stepped forward.   
  
“Peter saw Severus writing something and came to tell us that he was heading up here. We went to go check what he wanted and pretended that we were going for a walk around the castle. He said he wanted to give this letter to you and asked me not to read it, and I tried to convince the others that we shouldn’t, but they were only going to try and grab it from my pocket anyway, or get it out from my trunk while I was sleeping. I’m sorry, you should’ve been the one to read it first.” Remus said, handing her the letter. “Read it by yourself. It contains some sensitive stuff that would be better for you to read on your own.”   
  
Lily frowned and stepped away from Annalise.  
  
“Anna, go ahead, I’ll see you back in the dorm.” She said. Annalise looked like she was going to protest, but after catching the look Lily sent her, she promptly shut her mouth, avoided the Marauders’ gazes and stormed down the staircase towards the Fat Lady.   
Lily’s eyes scanned the page and a frown working its way onto her face. When she was done, she looked up.   
  
“We need to take this to Dumbledore.” She said softly.   
  
“We know. We’ve been asked by him and McGonnagall to start noting any strange behaviour, just like Snape has by whoever’s pulling the strings on his end.” Remus said.   
  
“You’ve been asked to do it, too?” Lily asked. “Has … DUmbleodre mentioned a – a mark of some kind?”  
  
“By a mark, do you mean a snake and a skull?” Sirius asked. Lily nodded. “McGonnagall and Dumbledore asked us to keep an eye out a few days ago.”  
  
“Same here,” Lily said. “So … has he asked you four to join the group? The Order?”   
  
The Marauders nodded. “We aren’t officially members until we leave Hogwarts, but for now, we’re sort of honorary members,” James told her.   
  
“He said the same to me.” Lily agreed. “Did – did Sev have it? The mark?” her voice was quiet, small … almost scared, as if preparing herself for the answer that she knew was coming, but hoped desperately wasn’t true.   
  
“Yeah. He did.” Remus said softly. “Lily, I’m so sorry. I know how much care for him, I know how close you two are-”  
  
“Were.” Lily corrected, wiping at her eyes. “He’s chosen them. If he was my friend, if he cared about me half as much as he claimed, he wouldn’t have joined them. He wouldn’t be a lackey for a blood supremacist who wants to wipe out people like me.”   
  
“Let’s go to Dumbledore together. We were going to keep an eye on Rosier, Mulciber and Lestrange in Potions tomorrow, but this is urgent. He needs to know.” Sirius said gently. “I know its hard, Evans. I know you don’t want it to be true. But you’re right. His priorities lie with the people who have convinced him of some sick, perverted way of how the world should be run. I don’t know if there’s any hope for him. There would be nothing wrong with hoping for that, but don’t get your hopes up too high. Likely, you’ve already lost him.”   
  
“How would you know, Black?” Lily spat.   
  
Remus knew that she didn’t mean the harshness of her words, she was hurt and angry and didn’t want her best friend to get himself into something so bad, but Sirius didn’t seem to take offence.  
  
“Because my brother is being influenced by the same people. I got kicked out by my parents last summer and I didn’t get the chance to take Reg with me. I left him with our shitty parents on his own, even though I know there was nothing I could’ve done. They forced me out, I couldn’t take them both on when I couldn’t cast magic outside of school. But he’s starting to sound just like them now. I’ve been protecting him for the last fifteen years of his life, ever since he was a baby. He looked up to me, I was his best friend, his hero. But their ways have already turned him against me, and I haven’t even been gone a year yet. I know exactly how you feel because my baby brother is stuck just as much as Severus is.” Sirius said.   
  
Lily stared at him, tears flowing freely.   
  
“I didn’t know that.” She said.   
  
“Not a lot of people do. Everyone thinks I left of my own accord. But we can still try to save them. There’s still something of the people we care about in there somewhere. Don’t you agree?” Sirius asked.   
  
Lily sniffed and nodded, a grateful smile gracing her face.   
  
“Yeah.” She said softly. “Thanks, Black. I needed that.”  
  
“Anytime, Evans. Now let's go speak to Dumbledore.” 


	20. A Sirius Issue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Telling Dumbledore about Snape's possible involvement with Death Eaters brings about rising tensions

The Marauders and Lily raced down to Dumbledore's office, feeling the urgency of the situation like a knot of anxiety in their chests. 

"What's the password?" Lily panted as they reached the corridor where Dumbledore's office was.

"Fizzing Whizbees," Sirius called. The Griffin began to shift and open up and the five of them stuffed themselves under the wings, breathing heavily. 

Upon reaching Dumbledore's office, their headmaster raised his eyebrows. 

"Visiting my office is becoming quite an occurrence for you all, it would seem." He said. 

"Professor, Severus Snape has a Dark Mark," Sirius said. Dumbledore sat up slightly, now solemn. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Positive, all four of us saw it. Pete saw it twice." James said. Pete nodded in agreement, still trying to catch his breath. 

"And there's this," Lily added, walking closer and handing Dumbledore the letter that Snape had written to her.

He took it, pushing his glasses up his nose and eyes beginning to roam the page.

Once he was done, he looked back up at the students, his expression grim. 

"Thank you for bringing this to much attention. I'll handle it from here on out." Dumbledore said. 

"Professor, we've been trying to plot out potential people that could be involved. Not all of them are students, but all of them are connected to high up pureblood families. That's nothing much to go on, of course, but it might help. Sirius has them all written out on some parchment. A lot of them are connected to the Black family." Remus said. 

"I thought I told you all to avoid investigating," Dumbledore replied. "If you cannot follow my orders while under my supervision, I will be forced to reconsider your recruitment. Being unable to follow orders will put not only your lives but the lives of other Order members at risk out in the field. I appreciate the speed in which you've isolated one suspect, but I must stress the importance of being passively observant rather than actively investigating. Do you understand?"

There were slightly shocked and embarrassed looks between the five of them.

They were all thinking the same thing. They had thought they were doing the right thing.

Without Peter shifting into Wormtail to keep an eye on Slytherins, they wouldn't have even gotten Snape's name confirmed in the first place. 

"We understand, Professor," Sirius said quietly.

"You're dismissed," Dumbledore said. The five of them left, an air of disappointment hanging thickly between them.

"Somehow, I thought that would end up differently," James said as they stood outside the griffin. 

"At least we've done _something,"_ Remus said. "Good job, Wormtail. We caught Snape thanks to you." He clapped Peter on the shoulder and Peter gave them all appreciative smiles as the others chimed in their thanks and congratulations. 

~

The next few weeks were uneventful, with the Marauders and Lily having decided to put a hold on looking into Death Eater recruits.

All five of them desperately wanted to be involved in the Order, and there was some kind of shifting in the relationship they all had with one another after the Snape incident.

There was newfound respect amongst them all, knowing that they'd been chosen for something larger than themselves.

The Marauders had always been close, but they'd been brought even closer together as they knew what they were getting involved in.

There were so many things they still didn't know yet, but knowing that they were wanted and needed and recognised for the things that they achieved while at school hadn't gone unnoticed by them all. 

The teasing and snide remarks between Sirius and James versus Lily slowly decreased until, before they knew it, Lily was spending more and more time among the Marauders.

She became an unofficial member of the group. Sirius found that he had more in common with her than he didn't.

By the end of April, they'd almost become friends and exams were coming up, making it even harder for any investigating, even if they’d not had the discouragement from Dumbledore. Everyone was too stressed to be dealing with the Slytherins now. 

"The year is going by way too fast," Sirius complained, flinging himself down onto a sofa in the Gryffindor common room. 

Remus raised the textbook he was reading through high enough for Sirius to lay his head on Remus' lap, immediately transferring the weight of the textbook into one hand, the other one landing in Sirius' hair, gently carding its way through the curls over and over again. 

"One year left after this one, Pads, and then we've got to do all that boring adult shit." James joked from the armchair he was sprawled in. 

"Ugh, Merlin, I wish I could stay this age forever," Sirius said. "I'd never have to get grey hairs or wrinkles or pay bills. I just want to have this beautiful body for the rest of my life and play pranks and get into fights and smoke and have _fun._ " 

"There's more to life than being attractive and causing trouble, Padfoot." Remus scolded half-heartedly. 

"Well obviously, Moony!" Sirius exclaimed, sitting up and curling into Remus' side, nuzzling his face into Remus' neck. "There's loving you, of course." 

Remus blushed and rolled his eyes. He didn't think he'd ever get used to Sirius' public proclamations of love. 

The Gryffindor common room was quiet, with a lot of the sixth and seventh years hanging out and studying in the early evening and Remus' heart still pounded at the idea that they could all hear Sirius' casual admittance. 

"How charming. It's good to know there's still romance in our relationship during this busy time." He said, a mix of affection and sarcasm evident in his voice. 

"There'll always be romance in our relationship. I'm a very romantic person. And I do love you a lot, Remus." Sirius said. 

"I love you too, Sirius." Remus grinned, pressing a kiss to Sirius' temple and wrapping his arm tighter around Sirius' shoulders. 

~

It was mid-may when Snape, Lestrange, Rosier and Regulus were spotted together at the same time, walking towards a class together and passing by the Marauders, who were on their way to Charms.

Sirius was tense as soon as he saw Regulus' familiar features. 

They were on the other end of the corridor and both groups of rivals were surrounded by younger students, many of them shorter than them all by a long shot. 

He was holding Remus' hand, had been since they'd left the Gryffindor Tower, and there were grins as the four of them locked eyes with the Marauders. 

"Alright there, poofters?!" Lestrange called, yelling over the crowd of students.

People were craning their necks, first years trying to see who had spoken and others wondering who they were yelling at. 

Remus tightened his grip on Sirius' hand, leaning down slightly to speak to Sirius. 

" _Padfoot_ , _don't you dare_ ," he whispered. 

"Whispering sweet nothings, are we, Loony Lupin?" Rosier smirked. "Or are you telling Black how much you want to bend over a desk for him?"

"Highly inappropriate for the school corridors, don't you think?" Snape taunted. "There are impressionable first years here. Not the way a Prefect should behave." 

Remus could feel his frustration and anger rising. 

There were only three days until the next full moon, and although he wasn't as irritable today as he would be in the final day leading up to it, Moony was close enough to the surface of his skin to be urging him to lash out, to hit someone and not stop until he saw blood. 

He was hyper-aware of James' frown and Peter's anxiety. 

Lily was there beside Peter and he could almost smell the urge to beat the Slytherins into next week coming from her and Sirius particularly. 

Lily hasn’t mentioned anything about Remus’ lycanthropy since the letter from Snape had landed in their hands, and Remus was far too scared to broach it with her yet. He almost hoped she’d forgotten about it with everything going on. 

"Just ignore them, you lot. It's nothing." Remus ground out, just loud enough for his friends to hear. 

"No wonder Mum and Dad don't want you anymore. Going around with a half-blood, a filthy half-breed, you're just as bad as Uncle Alphard and Andromeda. I'm ashamed to call you my brother." Regulus said. 

Remus could tell that was the final straw for Sirius and he moved fast, stepping in front of his boyfriend and grunting with effort as he worked to hold Sirius back and avoid his flailing arms, pushing and scraping at Remus, trying to get the space to run at the Slytherins. 

"Calm down, Sirius, they're doing it deliberately to get a rise out of you. Just stop fighting me and carry on walking, we'll be late for Charms." Remus said. 

Sirius struggled for another few seconds before calming and pulling away. 

"Alright, alright! I'm fine, it's fine." Sirius tried to convince him, holding his hands up in surrender.

Remus squeezed his shoulder and looked to his friends, who were waiting for them a few steps ahead of them and staring down the Slytherins. 

When Remus' eyes shifted over to his friends, Sirius made a break for his brother, Snape, Lestrange and Rosier. 

" _For fuck's sake, Sirius_! Come back here! _Padfoot!_ " Remus yelled, running after him, barging through other students and hearing the sound of his friends following, muttering curse words. 

Remus knew that they were better at keeping their anger in check. 

Sirius could be a wild card, his emotions always running high. He was always prepared to act on them, at nothing more than a moment's notice.

The others were more likely to pay attention to the potential consequences of disagreements with their rivals.

They were often more levelheaded, except the moments where a line was crossed. 

Sirius had managed to get a few decent hits to Rosier and Snape in, but as the two of them held back, knowing that their skills didn't lie in physical fights, Lestrange and Sirius were delivering blow after blow to each other.

Regulus certainly didn't look so certain then, watching his brother have a brawl, watching him get hurt but a particularly brutal punch to the face, making his head snap back and blood pour from his nose.

Remus shoved him out of the way and dove between Lestrange and Sirius, feeling a sharp elbow connect with his jaw, making him cry out in pain.

James and Lily were busy shoving at Lestrange, yelling at Rosier and Snape, while Regulus had done a runner and Peter was trying to convince Sirius to back away.

People were backing away, staring and whispering as the events unfolded.

"OI!" Remus roared.

And then things went quiet, the tension rising in the corridor. This was Remus' Prefect side rearing its head. No longer was he sweet, unassuming Remus, with his jumpers and his soft smiles, his calming voice and caring nature.

"What the _fuck_ is wrong with all of you? How childish can you all be?! Forty points from both Gryffindor and Slytherin for brawling in the corridors. Peter, James, Lily, go to Charms. Tell Professor Flitwick I'm taking Sirius to Madame Pomfrey since I can't trust that he won't seek out more fights. I think he might have a broken nose."

"Moony-" 

" _James_ , _do not fucking argue with me now_!" Remus snapped. "I'm not in the mood for excuses or for petulant attempts at shifting the blame. For once in your life, do as I ask of you or it'll be another ten points from Gryffindor and a week's worth of detentions. Now go to Charms!" 

James shut up then. Lily was looking embarrassed at having lost her cool and Peter approached slowly, muttering 'come on, let's go' to them both. 

~ 

"Dammit, Padfoot. Do you have to be so careless? Here, hold this to your nose." Remus reprimanded softly, pressing the cold flannel to Sirius' nose. Sirius hissed in pain and Remus apologised. 

They were sat in the dormitory. Remus knew that Sirius would never calm down with Madame Pomfrey, he would be questioned and feel backed into a corner and it would only make him harder to calm down later. 

"It's not my fault. I wasn't going to let all that slide. They can say whatever they want to me, but never to you. I was so worried that Regulus would say something about you being a werewolf. I panicked."

"Well, he didn't. So we don't have to worry." Remus said, inspecting the bruise starting to form on Sirius' face. 

"I'm sorry about him elbowing you." 

"Why are _you_ apologising? It wasn't your elbow. And besides, it was a good shot. I'll let him have it." Remus shrugged. 

"I'll get that fucker back for it." Sirius' voice was determined and Remus pinched his arm, fixing him with a glare. 

"You will _not_." He said firmly. 

"I _will_ ," Sirius replied, just as firm. 

They stared at each other, as stubborn as always, and then began to smirk and laugh. 

"You'll be the death of me, Padfoot." Remus grinned. Sirius just beamed in pride, leaning forward to press his lips to Remus', putting the flannel to one side. 

And just like he always did when kissing Sirius, forgetting the world around him and being surrounded by nothing but Sirius. 

They didn't make it to Charms, in the end.


	21. Another Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exams and the end of the year are drawing close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let y'all know, the word 'fag' will be used in reference to cigarettes in this chapter. In England, 'fag' and 'ciggie' are just what they're referred to as. Hope you enjoy!

"We don't have time, you three!" Remus exclaimed. 

Sometimes, Remus couldn't believe the mentality of his friends. They'd managed to snag their favourite sofa in front of the fireplace. Peter was hunched over in an armchair, scribbling a few final things on a piece of parchment, while James was sat on the back of the sofa, his feet planted in the cushions.

It didn't matter how many times he'd fallen backwards sitting like that and hit his head, or how many times Remus tried to get him to stop, James' favourite way to sit was chaos incarnate.

Sirius was sat cross-legged beside Remus, gently tracing circles on Remus' leg absentmindedly. He was remarkably touch starved, and Remus had become accustomed to the feeling of having some part of Sirius touching him throughout most of the day. 

"What are you on about, our final exam isn't for another week yet! We have plenty of time!" James exclaimed. 

"We might not get another opportunity. Come on, Moony, live a little." Sirius said, grabbing Remus' hand and trying to pull him off the sofa. 

"I'm knackered! Just let me finish what I'm doing and go to bed." Remus said, pulling his hand out of Sirius' gently. He was always careful not to be too rough in pulling away from Sirius. It seemed to trigger something in Sirius' brain that Remus was mad at him and that he'd done something irreparable to their relationship.

"We never leave a Marauder behind, Remus, you know that," Peter said, tapping his things and sending them whizzing up the stairs to the dormitory. "It's only for an hour."

"An hour that I'll never get back," Remus said. "An hour that could be better spent studying."

"All you ever do is study," Sirius said sullenly. "Every hour that you're hunched over your books is another hour that you could be spending with your friends and making memories. Our N.E.W.Ts are next year, we don't have to get O's right now. We have time. _Please_ , Moony." 

Sirius' grey eyes were a weakness for Remus, and seeing the pleading in them was enough to make Remus crack. 

He sighed, sent a longing look towards his stack of parchment and looked back up at Sirius. 

" _Fine_ ," he said. James and Pete jumped to their feet in excitement and Sirius threw himself onto Remus' lap, wrapping his arms around Remus tightly. 

"You're the _best_ , Moony! I love you _so much_!" Sirius exclaimed, planting kisses all over Remus' cheeks and making him laugh. 

"Alright, Pads, we get the picture." James was rolling his eyes and smiling at them fondly. 

James' initial shock and uncertainty regarding their relationship had long since subsided. Now, he was the biggest champion of their happiness. Peter had followed suit, thinking they were the pinnacle of how a relationship should be. 

He and Mel Williams were still not officially dating, but they were frequently seen with each other whenever Peter wasn't with the Marauders, and none of them had been surprised when Peter had come back to the dorm later most nights, looking flustered and shy with tousled hair. 

James had been making serious leeway with Lily, having simmered down with the teasing and the general snarkiness around her. Everyone had noticed the general tamed behaviour of all of the Marauders since the beginning of their sixth year. They were still chaotic and frustrating to be around and many teachers lamented that they still had to deal with the group for another year, but no one would have them any other way.

"Come on, Pads, get up before someone throws us out of our common room for to much PDA." Remus laughed. Sirius left one last cute kiss on Remus' nose before he clambered off Remus' lap, standing and pulling him to his feet. 

~

"Want a smoke?" Sirius asked, holding out a packet of cigarettes to Remus. 

"I've never been known to turn one down." Remus shrugged, taking one and popping it into his mouth. He leant closer to let Sirius click the lighter and ignite the end. 

Sirius' eyes went dark at their closeness and Remus smirked around the obstruction in his mouth. When the end had been lit, he took a drag, took ahold of the cigarette and blew out smoke from the side of his mouth, tapping excess ash onto the ground. 

"What are you looking at me like that for?" Remus muttered. 

"Why am I ever looking at you? Because I want to kiss you, of course." Sirius muttered back. 

"Then do something about it." 

Sirius grinned and pressed their lips together. 

They were at the Black Lake, sat with James, Peter, Mel and Lily. 

Remus pressed back into Sirius' mouth. _God_ , he'd never get tired of this. He hated the taste of smoke on Sirius' tongue, it always made him cringe the first few times he and Sirius kissed, but now it barely even phased him anymore.

He and Sirius had been smoking together since the previous year. Sirius had been pinching cigarettes out of the older years' pockets, and Remus always felt terrible about it. When Sirius saw the way it worried him, he started giving people a few Galleons to borrow some, just enough to last him and Remus a few days. 

It was only when Regulus had begun to hang out with dangerous people in Slytherin that Sirius had taken it up full time. Remus had a smoke with him very occasionally at the start of the year, wary of getting addicted. But once exam season had started up, he'd been smoking more and more often until he was just as addicted as Sirius was.

Sirius never asked or expected him to chip in for them and instead always seemed to know when Remus needed one. 

"Get a room, you two!" James jeered. 

"You're wasting your fags!" Peter said. 

Something soft hit Remus' cheek and he pulled away from Sirius, who made a disappointed noise and pouted. Remus pulled him close, leaning back against the tree that the group were sat underneath, stretching his legs out and making room for Sirius to curl up against him. Sirius grinned and sat with his back against Remus' chest, sighing contentedly as Remus' arms came around him.

"James ... did you just throw a ham sandwich at me?" Remus asked. 

"I most certainly did, my friend," James admitted. He showed no remorse, which was a standard reaction from James, and Remus sent him a half-hearted glare. 

Remus flicked the small buildup of ash on the end of his cigarette in James' direction and James flailed, trying to avoid it hitting his clothes. 

He cursed Remus, who carried on with his cigarette, enjoying the beginnings of a July sun poking through the clouds. 

It was summertime, thank god. Exams were finished and in just two weeks, he'd be boarding the train to go home for the summer. He'd spend one last, lonely summer in Wales without his friends and then his final year at Hogwarts would be beginning.

"Sirius?" Remus asked. 

"Oh god, I know that tone," Sirius said jokingly. "What's worrying you, love?" 

"Come and visit me this summer," Remus said. 

"In Wales?"

"In Wales," Remus confirmed. "I want you to meet my parents. Officially, I mean. As ... as more than just one of my best friends."

"I'm pretty sure there's a word for someone more than just your best friend. Don't you think, James?" Sirius teased.

"I think there might be, Padfoot. I might be wrong, though. What about you, Pete? Any insight?" 

"Quite possibly, lads. I'm no expert in the English language-" Peter started.

"That's an understatement." Remus interrupted. James, Lily, Mel and Sirius laughed and Peter threw a grape at Remus, who caught it with one hand and chucked it back. "But I mean it, Sirius. I want them to know you as my boyfriend rather than just a friend." 

"I was your best friend a minute ago!" 

"That was before you baited the others to make fun of me. You'll be demoted to 'acquaintance' if the next thing out of your mouth isn't an enthusiastic yes." Remus said. 

"Yes, Moony, you complete nutter. I'll meet your parents." Sirius laughed. 

~

The first three weeks of the summer holidays had been tough without the Marauders. Remus loved spending time with his parents, going on hikes and playing board games, reading and watching crap Muggle TV in the evenings. 

"Remus, there's mail here for you!" Hope called. Remus threw himself out of bed, almost falling in the process as he raced down the stairs and picked up the letters on the kitchen table.

He slid into a seat and read through James' letter.

_Hiya Moony,_

_Hope you're doing okay. Padfoot is going off the rails thinking about meeting your parents. He's insane! I mean, he usually is, but even more so recently._

_I'm bored already. I was making genuine leeway with Evans and now we've got six weeks apart! She's gonna forget all the nice shit by the time we go back. I'll never marry her at this point._

_We're sending a lot of letters to each other at the minute, but nothing major is happening on that front, just gentle teasing and jokes and shit like that._

_Wormtail is doing okay. He popped round a few days ago. He passed his Apparition exam and hasn't been able to stop doing it since. He's so happy that he's the first one to get his license. His parents have had to ban him from Apparating in the house because he was doing it too much and they were worried he'd lose his concentration in excitement and splinch himself._

_Everything's been pretty boring apart from that. Well, as boring as life with Sirius Black can be._

_Can't wait to see you and Wormtail when the new year starts again._

_See you soon, Moony,_

_Prongs._

The other letter was from Sirius. Remus had told his parents via letter than he wanted them to meet Sirius, that they were dating and that he was sorry for the secrecy, but he hadn't wanted to make them disappointed by having another part of him that wasn't accepted by society. His parents had seemed incredibly positive in their response, but Remus still dreaded being in the same house as them when the summer came. 

When he'd arrived back at his parent's house, he'd felt sick with anxiety.

_"You have no idea how happy we are that you're finally home," Hope said._

_"Thanks, Mum. I've missed you." Remus smiled. He pulled back and hugged his dad, waiting for the proverbial penny to drop and for the happiness of his return to be overshadowed by his coming out._

_"We're very excited to meet this Sirius boy. If he's had this much of an effect on you where you've been blushing at all your letters and keeping him to yourself all this time, he must be pretty special." Lyall said._

_Those two sentences were enough to make tears brim in Remus' eyes._

_"Yeah. Yeah, he's pretty damn special."_

The memory flashed through Remus' mind and he smiled. 

"Everything alright, dear? Good news from your friends?" Hope asked. 

"Yeah ... James is getting a bit frustrated with nothing much to do and nothing exciting happening, but I think Sirius is running crop circles around him worrying about coming here next week, so everything is fine. Peter has his Apparating license, but his parents have banned him from using it in the house. He's finally done something that we haven't yet, so he's making the most of it." 

"Have you got a letter from Sirius?" she asked. Remus grinned and nodded. 

Lyall burst through the door, home from work and greeted Hope with a kiss on the cheek, giving Remus a clap on the shoulder. 

"Evening, my lovely family!" He said brightly. "What's all this mail? More letters from your friends, Remus? They must be costing their poor parents a fortune in parchment for all these letters. I hope they're feeding their owl well for all this flying." 

"He's got a letter from Sirius," Hope said, smiling fondly when Remus went bright red. 

"And from James." Remus reminded her. 

"Go on then, Remus. Tell us what he's saying. Is he excited about coming to visit you?" Lyall asked, hanging his robes over the back of a chair and toeing his shoes off, sliding into the seat opposite Remus. 

"I haven't even had a chance to read it myself, yet!"

"Well, this is the perfect chance, then! I'd like to get a feel for the boy instead of all this word of mouth stuff. Of course, you're going to think he's wonderful. Come on, read it out." 

Remus groaned and felt his face getting even hotter. He picked up the letter from Sirius and unrolled it. 

_My dearest Moony,_

_I'm sure Prongs has already told you that I'm running around like a headless chicken about coming to see you and meeting your parents. That would be a gross exaggeration and quite frankly, a fraudulent claim. I'll have to get him back for it. Maybe stick itching powder in his pyjamas or something._

_I know the exact disapproving glare you'd give me at that, but he deserves it! And besides, how can I be trusted to make decisions in good judgement when my dear boyfriend (that's you, by the way, love), who is half of my impulse control at this point, is hundreds of miles away in the middle of bum fuck nowhere. No offence, of course, I know how much you love Wales._

_I can't wait to see you. I've gotten so used to always being with you, of always being sat beside you or holding your hand, curled up against your side in the Gryffindor Tower while you read, or just simply being close to you that it's driving me mad that I don't have that at the moment._

_Only a few days left to wait, and I'll get to hug you again. And no, I will not be returning your jumpers to you for any longer than necessary for them to smell like you again. They're_ our _jumpers now. Sharing is caring, and I care about you a lot._

_Give my love and thanks to your parents again for letting me stay for the last few weeks of summer. And the Potters' thanks, too. They've not said anything, but I know I can be a handful sometimes. I'm sure they're glad to be rid of me for a few weeks and have James to themselves again._

_I can't wait to see you again, my love._

_With all of my love and affections,_

_Your Padfoot._

When Remus looked up again, he was sure he might faint from the heat in his face. All of his blood had rushed to his brain and was making him feel way too hot for a Welsh summer.

"He seems like a very nice lad, Remus," Lyall said. "I'm looking forward to meeting him."

~

Five days later, Sirius was stood outside the Lupin household. 

More accurately, he was stood about forty feet away. He'd gotten his license to Apparate two days previously. This had been his first long trip since getting it, and the fact that he'd made it in one piece was a relief. 

Remus' father had offered to come and pick him up from London, but Sirius had insisted in his reply to Remus that he would be fine. 

The door to the house opened and Sirius blinked past the initial dizziness that came with getting used to Apparating on his own. 

He saw Remus racing towards him and grinned as he did the same. They collided quickly, arms wrapping tightly around one another. 

They lost their balance, stumbling over the sudden obstruction after running so fast, and before they knew it, Remus was letting out a wheeze as he hit the ground and Sirius landed on top of him. 

And then they were laughing, Sirius burying his face in Remus' shoulder, feeling Remus' arms wrap around him and trying to press him closer, despite the lack of space between them already. 

"God, I missed you." Remus laughed. 

"I missed you too. _So much_." Sirius said. He pulled back to stand, pulling Remus to his feet. Remus linked their hands and began leading Sirius to the house, where Hope and Lyall were watching them fondly. "Hang on a sec, Re. What do you think you're doing?"

Remus stopped and turned to his right slightly to look at Sirius. 

"What are you on about?"

"You're not even going to give me a proper hello? We've not seen each other in almost a month and I don't even get a kiss hello? I see how it is, a month without a good morning and good night kiss and suddenly you think you're above them. I get it."

"Oh, for fucks sake. You're so dramatic." Remus sighed, letting go of Sirius' hand to hook his fingers into the belt loops of Sirius' jeans and pulling him closer by the hips. The grey of Sirius' pupils were almost completely swallowed by his irises as Remus cupped Sirius' face with one hand, his other hand drifting around to Sirius' back, pushing him closer to Remus' body. 

And then they were kissing, and even though they'd only been apart for just under a month, it felt like they'd been apart for so much longer. 

"Come on, lovebirds!" Hope called and Remus and Sirius pulled apart to lean their foreheads together, giggling slightly. 

"I love you," Sirius whispered. 

"I love you too. Now come on, before they start trying to embarrass us even further." Remus replied, relinking their fingers and leading Sirius back towards the house. 


	22. An Introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius meets Remus' parents

"It's nice to finally meet you properly, Sirius, we've heard so much about you!" Hope said, pulling Sirius into a hug. 

Sirius looked almost panicked for a second as his hand left Remus'. He was so unused to anyone other than the Marauders hugging him or showing him affection that this was still new to him.

Remus' heart ached for him, and desperately hoped that spending the last few weeks of summer with another family that showed him affection would help. The Potters were a very loving family, and likely gave Sirius some of the familial attention that Sirius craved so desperately. 

Between the Marauders and their families, Remus wanted Sirius to see what families were supposed to be like, what the Marauders wanted to give him, even when Sirius doubted himself, even on his worst days where everything was too overwhelming. 

Sirius calmed and responded to Hope, and Remus could see the stress and strain, the momentary shock and panic, drain from his shoulders.

"It's nice to meet you properly, too, Mrs Lupin," Sirius said, hugging her back. His aristocratic manners would likely be kicking in, years upon years of forced politeness and learning how to greet people in the appropriate way rearing its head. 

"Now, we'll have none of those formalities, young man," Hope said with mock sternness. She pulled back and smiled kindly at Sirius. "Please, call me Hope. We're a very informal family here." 

Sirius smiled charmingly then, some semblance of himself returning. 

"I'm Lyall, Remus' father. We're very glad to have you here, Sirius. Remus has been beside himself." Lyall said, holding his hand out for Sirius to shake. Sirius did so and there was suddenly tension once again in his posture. 

Remus could understand why. It was always his father that he worried about when it came to things like this. He knew his father blamed himself for Remus being turned into a werewolf. Their relationship had been troubled when Remus was a child, and he had never actually been told the full story of why Greyback had chosen him, of all people, until he was twelve. 

Remus' shock at the time had carried into his second year, leading his friends to grow suspicious of Remus' odd behaviour. They'd begun their research and a few weeks later, had pieced the puzzle together to confront him. The rest was history.

But Remus had spent a lot of time hating that his life would be even more difficult as someone who was also attracted to men, mainly because of the fear of disappointing his father by being even more disliked by society was a constant source of anxiety in the back of his mind. 

"That's an overstatement," Remus said. 

"Now now, Moony, don't be so rude. I know you're always incredibly bored without me." Sirius teased. 

"I have my books." Remus shrugged. He laughed at the look on Sirius' face. "Just kidding, Pads. Right, should we go inside then? It looks like it's ready to rain at any moment."

The four of them made their way through the house and Hope beckoned them upstairs. Sirius had a bag on his back, presumably from Muggle London, and enchanted to have more room in it to fit a few weeks' worths of clothes. 

Remus and Sirius followed. Sirius was looking around at the house and smiled when Hope led them into Remus' room. 

"Make yourself at home, Sirius, I'm sorry about how small it is, but we've done our best with what we have," Hope said. 

Hope had asked Lyall if there were any extensions that he could make on Remus' bed. They didn't have a spare one that Sirius could use, and Remus' bed was too small for two people, so Lyall had used magic to make it a little wider. 

Remus had appreciated the extra space over the last few days. 

Hope was also aware that Sirius was from a very rich and powerful family, and had been panicking for days, trying to make sure that Sirius would feel at home. The Lupins were comfortable in their two-story house in rural Wales, but they were by no means rich. 

_"Sirius ... where have I heard that name before?" Lyall asked. "What's his last name?"_

_Remus faltered. This wasn't a conversation he particularly wanted to be having over dinner, but his father had never had much tact when it came to this sort of thing. He was old fashioned and a little clueless sometimes, but he was kind and protective of his family._

_"Black," Remus said quietly. "His name is Sirius Black."_

_"Black? As in, the pureblood family? The ones that have no reason to be as rich as they are, but has to add more and more space to their family vault every year? The ones with their hooks in the Ministry?"_

_"Yes, but he's not like them, I swear-"_

_"I can imagine! Now I recognise the name. He's the older brother, right? He's the heir?" Remus nodded and Lyall laughed, clapping Remus on the shoulder. "Good on you, Remus! Bloody hell, my son is dating the first Black heir in known history to be sorted into Gryffindor, one that's been defying his family for years and got disowned for standing up against their ideals. My parenting has paid off."_

_"Oh, thanks, Dad!" Remus said. "So straight O's in my exams wasn't a demonstration of good parenting, but me ending up with a Black is?!"_

_"Well, you didn't get your intelligence from me, did you? That was all your mother's doing." Lyall said._

_"Don't be so old fashioned, Lyall. It doesn't matter how rich his family is. Remus isn't shallow like that."_

"You don't have to apologise, Hope. It's beautiful." Sirius breathed, stepping inside and looking around the room in wonder.

Remus' room was nothing much, shelves and cabinets overflowing with books and a piece of string crisscrossing across the room, moving pictures pinned to them with care. It was simplistic, and yet Sirius was looking at it all as if it were more valuable than every antique and piece of art in the Black household. 

Sirius peeked closer at one of the pictures tied to the string and beamed at Remus. 

"You kept that picture of us from our first year at the Black Lake?" Sirius asked. Remus walked close to take a look at it. He hadn't looked at this picture in so long. It made him feel too nostalgic, the beginning of his time at Hogwarts so far away now. It always made him upset, seeing them all so happy and chubby-cheeked, bright-eyed and still growing into their features.

Sirius had been the topic of discussion for his looks even then. Back then, he was 'cute' and 'adorable' rather than 'handsome' and 'gorgeous'. James' glasses had seemed too big for his face, but in retrospect, they'd suited him well. Peter was a lot blonder than he was now, the brightness of it fading as he got older and only returning during the summer months.

Remus had been a lot less confident, still seeming slightly uncomfortable with the attention of his friends, but he was smiling and was without facial scars. They all had their arms around each other and the image kept replaying as they looked at one another, pulling stupid faces before looking at the camera and smiling nicely. 

"Yeah, I did. I try not to look it at too much. I feel old looking at it. This is from the end of our first year and now we're about to go into seventh. We can do magic outside of school now. Back then, we didn't know how to cast much more than an unlocking charm, and now ... we've got a whole arsenal at our fingertips and we still have more to learn. After this next school year ends, that's it. We're not going to be at Hogwarts anymore." Remus said. He hated the crack in his voice as he spoke, the tone of fear under his words. 

Sirius slid an arm around his waist and leant his head against Remus' shoulder.

"Nothing's going to happen to us, Remus. You know that, don't you? Once a Marauder, always a Marauder. I know James and Peter would take an Unbreakable Vow this very second to always be there for each other, to always be best friends. We all would. And as for you and I specifically, you're never getting rid of me. I love you and you love me. Somehow, I don't see us ever giving up on each other just because we're not at school anymore." Sirius said.

Remus rolled his eyes and smirked. "Someone's possessive."

"I'm just truthful. I know you're it for me." Sirius said with a shrug. Remus leant his head against Sirius'. 

"Thanks. I needed that." He said quietly. 

"Your brain is working overtime, I know what you get like," Sirius told him. He pulled away to put his bag at the foot of Remus' bed to rummage through it and pull out a camera. 

"Sirius-"

"We are taking a picture together, Remus, whether you like it or not! This is an important step in our relationship." Sirius exclaimed.

"Let me take it," Hope said. Both of them jumped slightly, suddenly remembering that Remus' mother had been standing in the doorway for the whole conversation. "I imagine it works similar to a Muggle camera?" She asked, holding her hand out. Sirius beamed and nodded, crossing the room to hand it to her. 

Sirius went back to Remus, wrapping an arm around his waist and leaning up to kiss Remus' cheek just as Remus' arm came around his shoulder and the flash of a camera spread around the room. Remus and Sirius were grinning at each other and Hope handed them the developing film and the camera. 

Sirius kissing Remus' cheek and Remus going red was clear as the image replayed itself over and over again. 

"Dinner's almost ready, you three!" Lyall called from downstairs. 

"You must be hungry from the journey, Sirius. Lyall offered to cook tonight, so I hope you like steak." 

"Oh, I _love_ steak." Sirius gasped. "Remus, I love your family already. Your parents got my favourite meal right without even trying."

"I may have mentioned how impartial you were to it." Remus shrugged as the three of them headed towards the kitchen. 

"Best boyfriend _ever,_ " Sirius said softly. Remus couldn't help but grin. 

~

Dinner was filled with idle chatter, just laughing and making light conversation out of what had happened over the summer so far. 

The screech of Queenie, the Lupin family owl, disturbed them as she flew through the kitchen window and landed on her perch above the table. 

"Bloody hell, no matter how many years I've known about your world, I always get startled by owls," Hope said. Remus gave her an apologetic smile as he stood to untie the letter from Queenie's leg, going to the kitchen counter behind him to root around in a drawer for some food for her. 

She chirped happily as Remus fed her and Remus began to untie the note. 

"Remus, what have we said about reading letters during meals?" Hope chided. 

"It's from Uncle David. He's used the parchment from our letter to him the other week to write back. Chloe's going to Hogwarts." Remus said, skimming through the important parts of the note. "He hasn't known how to get in contact since we saw him at Christmas, we don't have a landline anymore after it broke a few weeks ago, but he didn't know that." 

"Wait, is this the same Chloe you were telling us about? The one from the attack at Christmas?" Sirius asked. Remus nodded.

"You told your friends about the attack?" Lyall asked. 

"I had to. It was all over the Prophet, they already knew that it had happened, they were worried that it had been my family, so I told them the truth." Remus said. He handed the letter to his father and sat back down. 

"I'll have to write back. We'll arrange to meet him, Ella, and Chloe in London, take them through Diagon Alley, get them ready for the new year. They'll be clueless." 

"When?" Hope asked. "You're so busy at work, Lyall, you won't have the time."

"It'll have to be a few days before term starts in three weeks. I have some time off."

"Dad, the full moon-" Remus said softly. 

"Remus, perhaps we should discuss this later-" Lyall's eyes were sharp, flicking to Sirius briefly before going back to Remus. 

"I know about Remus' lycanthropy," Sirius said. "I've known for four years, so have Peter and James. It doesn't change anything. In fact ... I can help with it."

"Sirius-" Remus said sharply. It was a warning. Lyall worked in the Ministry and Sirius' name was not on the Animagus Registry. 

"What do you mean, you can help?" Hope asked, and there was something in her voice that betrayed the sheer desperation of relief for her son that she was searching for. 

It wasn't easy for her to deal with, to be thrust into a world of magic, to have a son with such extraordinary gifts and such power at his fingertips suddenly have his life changed and snatched away from him at such a young age and inevitably plunged into terrible living conditions regardless of how well he did in his exams.

Sirius swallowed, looking between Remus' parents and Remus, who was begging Sirius with his eyes not to say anything, to protect the secret, to keep them all safe. 

"I'm an Animagus," Sirius said finally, and Remus' jaw clenched, eyes leaving Sirius and focusing on the table in front of him instead. 

"At such a young age? How - how did you manage it without the teachers knowing? There have been no updates from students becoming Animagi on the Registry." Lyall said. 

"That's because I didn't become one through the Ministry," Sirius said quietly. "I did it in our fifth year, about halfway through the year. I thought that maybe if I could shift and be with Remus during the full moon, it would help. Moony would have an animal companion, someone to keep him company, someone he wouldn't lash out against that often, only maybe in the initial hour or so after he first emerges, or just before the moon subsides and Remus comes back to us. But it would calm him and stop him from hurting himself." 

"And has it helped?" Hope inquired. 

"Yeah. A lot. For the last year and a half, the injuries have been getting better. I've not had to spend a night in the Infirmary for months, only a few hours while Madame Pomfrey patches me up. The end of my fifth year was the only time an overnight stay was necessary." Remus said, gesturing to his face. 

"What happened?" Lyall demanded. 

"It doesn't matter, Dad. It was just a stressful night. Emotions were running high and Sirius was late, Prongs and Wormtail were calming Moony on their own, but Moony smelt Sirius in his human form as he approached the Shack and went a little crazy. Moony got frustrated at Prongs and Wormtail trying to distract him and from what James and Peter said, he just happened to scratch at his face instead of somewhere else." Remus lied. 

"Your other friends are Animagi, too?" Lyall asked. Remus nodded. "Are they on the Registry?" Remus shook his head. Lyall sighed. "You're inadvertently asking me to do a very big thing by telling me this. You're asking me to lie to the Ministry, to keep three unregistered, illegal Animagi from them. This is very serious." 

For once, Remus knew that there was no smirk from Sirius at the pun, and both of them were looking as guilty as they felt, almost ashamed for the first time at the choice the others had made.

"However," Lyall said, and this time when he spoke, his voice was softer. "That's a very brave and noble thing for the three of you to do for my boy. Putting yourself in the line of fire every month is a very dangerous thing to choose to do, but as Remus' father, the fact that his friends and significant other are willing to do that for him is a weight off my shoulders. If I didn't already have a modicum of respect for you for defying your family and their toxic ideas, you'd have earned at this moment for keeping these secrets to protect Remus and his safety." 

"I'll always protect him. Till the day I die." Sirius said firmly. Remus glanced at him, feeling the beginnings of a smile tugging at his lips as he reached for Sirius' hand. 

~

Sirius descended the stairs of the bunker with Remus. It was wide and long, the same space as the entirety of the decent-sized shed in the Lupin's back garden. It was easily the same size as the common room in the Gryffindor Tower, with plenty of space for Remus to roam.

"Until morning, love," Sirius said once they reached the bottom. He kissed Remus deeply, as he always had before they changed for the full moon since they'd begun dating. 

'Until morning' was the Marauders' way of reminding each other that this was only temporary.

Their change would only be until the morning, where things would be okay again.

It was one night a month. The sunrise would bring a new day and fresh injuries, but it would also bring the sight of all of them alive and well, tired and battered and bruised.

Some nights were harder than others, sometimes they couldn't always escape Moony's claws, sometimes his teeth with graze them, and Remus would spend days afterwards beating himself up and sobbing into his friends' shoulders out of guilt. But the morning would bring the happiness of sunrise, of another full moon with all of them safe. 

"Until morning," Remus said, crying out in pain and gripping Sirius in a tight hug as he felt a spasm of pain in his chest. 

He let go of Sirius and Sirius shifted, backing up, his eyes glowing as he gave Remus the space he needed to change when the time came. 

There were only a few minutes left and Remus looked up to the entrance of the bunker, where his parents were smiling anxiously. 

"We'll be okay. It'll be weird doing it with just one of the others instead of all three, but we'll manage. Moony and Padfoot know each other, they won't hurt each other beyond anything than a few playful scratches. We'll see you for breakfast. I love you." Remus said to them, trying to be brave. 

He didn't hear his parents call back their sentiment as another ripple of pain tore through him and he cried out again, collapsing to one knee and feeling the shoulders of his shirt stretch as the change began. He spared one last glance at the entrance of the bunker as it closed, knowing that yellow was beginning to take over his irises as his vision changed and became sharper. 


	23. Diagon Alley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THe aftermath of the full moon, the final trip to Diagon Alley, and the beginning of seventh year

Remus woke with a start, throwing himself onto his side, barely managing to gather his hands and knees beneath him before he was retching, body trying to force up the previous night's dinner that had long since been burned up as fuel for the wolf under Remus' skin. 

Remus coughed violently, eyes streaming, and finally managed to regain control of himself. 

"You alright, Moony?" A familiar voice called groggily. Remus looked over his shoulder and saw Sirius pushing himself into a sitting position. 

There were permanent balls of light that were hanging around the wall, produced by the magic that Moony would never be able to extinguish, ones that only Lyall knew how to remove. The entire bunker was submerged in a very soothing yellow light. Remus and his parents had soon figured out that anything brighter than these floating lights hurt Moony's eyes and often made him angry. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Are you okay?" He asked. Sirius threw the blanket that Remus had managed to throw off him in the rush to get up towards him and Remus wrapped it around his shoulders. It was large enough to cover almost his whole body and Remus turned to face Sirius properly. 

This was common, for there to always be a distance between them in the mornings after the full moon. Even though Remus knew that the danger was contained, he was so scared of lashing out, of there being a residual burst of the wolf still in his system, that he always waited for a while before he could get too close to the Marauders again. 

"I'm all good, just tired." Sirius smiled, eyes still drooping. Remus moved slightly, looking up towards the entrance of the bunker to see it moving and daylight come seeping through. 

"Everything alright, boys?" Lyall called. Remus and Sirius called out their good mornings and stood as Lyall dropped Remus' dressing gown down into the bunker. He wrapped it around himself, tied it at the waist and he and Sirius made the climb back into the world. Hope and Lyall smiled brightly when they saw that Sirius and Remus were safe, fussing over Remus the same way they had ever since he was a small child. 

As they made their way back to the house, Remus spoke again. 

"What happened last night?" Remus asked.

This was common, too. He had virtually no memories of anything that had happened when Moony was free, and the thought scared him. The Marauders had come to accept this, knowing that years upon years of memories gone for one night a month was incredibly disorientating and panicked Remus immensely. 

"Same as usual. He didn't seem too happy to be in there."

"I suppose we're both fairly used to the Shack now. And having Prongs and Wormtail around. A change in locations is bound to set him off." 

"There's more room to roam down there as opposed to the Shack, so I don't know what it is that he hates so much. He seemed a lot more prone to snapping aggressively than normal, more than he ever usually is in the Shack." 

Remus looked to Sirius then, feeling sick once again. 

"Pads ... I - I didn't hurt you, did I? It was a bad idea thinking we could do this with just one of you instead of three-"

"Do I look injured?" Sirius asked.

Remus shook his head and Sirius took his hand, taking on a soft approach.

"Because I'm not. And if I was, it wouldn't have been _you_ that hurt me. It would be Moony. After the first hour or so, he calmed down. He recognised that even though we'd changed locations and Prongs and Wormtail weren't there, he wasn't alone. I think he considers the Animagi as friends. He got annoyed easily, more so than usual, but it went as smoothly as it normally does." 

Remus nodded and took a shaky breath. It was fine, he hadn't hurt Sirius or Padfoot. Everything was fine. They reached the house and Hope pulled out two chairs for Remus and Sirius to sit down in. 

"Mum, we're fine. We can check ourselves." Remus said, a slight whinging tone in his voice. He hated his mother's insistence at cleaning up his wounds. By this point, he was more than capable of doing them on his own, especially if he only had a few scrapes and bites. 

"You can do it here in the kitchen. You aren't getting blood all over your carpet." Hope said. Lyall summoned two bowls of clean water and some rags. 

"Can I at least get some clothes on so that I'm not just stood naked in the kitchen?" Remus asked, indicating to the robe wrapped around him. His parents very rarely let him take clothes with him into the bunker, since there was nowhere to hide them and Moony had occasionally ripped through them out of rage in the past. 

A pile of clothes appeared on the kitchen table and Remus sighed, taking them to the downstairs toilet. His wand was still in his room with all of his clothes. This was so different from being at Hogwarts, where he was used to the routine of taking everything he needed for the night and the following morning and hiding it underneath the bed. 

When he emerged, his whole body was aching and he walked stiffly back to the kitchen. As per usual, his arms were the worst. Moony had long since given up on attacking his chest, noticing how he usually just reopened old wounds. Accidents happened sometimes, and in blind fits of rage, he would forget and tear into any flesh he could find, and it often led to the thicker pieces of scar tissue across Remus' stomach and chest. 

Sirius helped to mop up the dried blood on his hands and arms, revealing the harsh cuts beneath. He yelped in pain as Sirius put pressure on one of them. 

"Sorry, Re, it started bleeding again. It's a deep one." He said, wincing. Sirius never liked to see Remus in pain. None of the Marauders did. This one was a nasty three-inch gash down Remus' forearm. It was bleeding very lighting, aggravated by being cleaned. "Did you see any other ones when you were getting dressed?" 

"No, I think it's just the arms this time." 

"Easy job for us, then. Maybe Moony is starting to be a bit more considerate of the effort we put into keeping you both alive." 

"Somehow, I don't think so. He doesn't like me all that much. And he doesn't like any of you as humans." Remus said.

"What makes you think that?" Sirius asked. Remus hesitated for only a second. 

"Last summer," He started, watching as Sirius stiffened and averted his eyes, trying to busy himself with cleaning the other cuts and scrapes on Remus' arm. "He smelt you when you were approaching the Shack. He smelt Snape as well-"

"Well, it's not hard to smell Snape as a human even when we're not all animals. The smell of all that greasy hair gives him away." Sirius joked. 

"Sirius," Remus warned. He hated Sirius and James' insistence at bullying Snape. He didn't particularly _like_ Snape. He was gloomy and possessive and downright rude at times. "I remember it ... vaguely. Just the familiar smell of you both. Moony hated it. If it hadn't been for Prongs and Wormtail ... he would've gone mad. He almost did when James dragged Snape off and forbid you from joining us that night. We're all very lucky we're still alive." 

"Remus, I-"

"I know, Sirius. I know you're sorry, and I know it wasn't intentional. You were just trying to protect me. You were scared of Snape finding out and getting me expelled. I don't hold it against you. When I told you I forgave you last year, I meant it. I still do." Remus interrupted. 

Sirius' eyes betrayed gave away the gratitude he felt, how desperate he had seemed to need to hear those words from Remus. 

"Thank you, Re." 

~

Sirius and Remus were leant against the wall of the Leaky Cauldron and smoking. Sirius was in his usual trademark leather jacket and skinny jeans, lace-up boots and a black t-shirt, with Remus dressed in his favourite jumper that he had managed to convince Sirius to part with, with casual blue jeans, worn-out trainers and a beanie to hide the rat's nest that was his hair. It had been flyaway and uncooperative all morning, leaving him to resort to hiding it completely. 

It was early, with another three hours before they had to catch the train. They were both tired and just wanted to be sat in their usual compartment with James and Peter. But they'd agreed to give Chloe, Remus' cousin, some pointers on where to get her stuff for her first year, before going to Kings Cross. 

"Remus!" A familiar voice called. Remus and Sirius looked towards the sound of the voice and Remus broke into a grin as he saw Chloe and David. He took one final drag of his cigarette before he flicked it to one side, stubbing it with his shoe as he blew the smoke out of his mouth. 

"Hiya, you two! How was the journey?" Remus asked as his uncle and cousin approached, hugging them both briefly. 

"Not too bad. We've been staying in a little BnB not too far away, exploring London for a few days, so we're nice and rested ready for today. Who's your friend?" David asked. 

Remus went red and suddenly remembered Sirius was still stood against the brick wall next to the Cauldron, smoking quietly. 

"Oh - uh - Uncle David, Chloe, this is my best friend, Sirius Black. He's been staying with Mum, Dad and I for the past few weeks. He's coming with us to give Chloe a hand. Merlin knows he's the better shopper." He said. Sirius pushed off from the wall, sticking his cigarette in his mouth and smirking, sticking his hand out for David to shake, which David obliged him. 

"Nice to meet you, Mr Howell. You too, Chloe. Moony's told us a lot about you." 

"Moony? Us?" Chloe asked nervously. 

"It's alright, Chlo. Moony's just a silly nickname that my friends have for me. When Sirius says 'us', he means himself and our other two best friends, James and Peter. We all have funny nicknames," Remus told her, gently and affectionately tugging on her ponytail.

"Right, well, where's this Diagon Alley everyone's banging on about?" David asked. Remus beckoned them into the Leaky Cauldron. 

"Remus-"

"We're just passing through, don't worry about it. The Leaky Cauldron is a good way to hide the join between Muggle and wizard London." Remus assured over his shoulder. 

"Alright, Remus?!" 

"Oi, Black, what's the plan for Halloween?!" 

Various people from the seventh year called out to them as they passed through the pub until they reached the back. Sirius pulled out his wand and tapped on the bricks along the wall outside and Chloe and David gaped as Diagon Alley revealed itself. 

"Welcome to Diagon Alley," Remus said, smiling at them and stepping through. He turned to face them. "You're in the wizarding world now."

~

"Right, last stop is Ollivanders. We've saved the best until last." Remus said, directing the group into the famed wand shop. "This is where you get your wand, Chloe." 

"Really?! My own wand?!" She gasped. Remus smiled and nodded at her. 

Ollivander turned to look at them as they entered. 

"Oh, I remember you two." He said to Remus and Sirius. "Remus Lupin ... 10¼", Cypress, unicorn hair."

"You remember!" Remus said in surprise, beaming brightly. 

"Of course! I'm always honoured to give a witch or wizard a Cypress wood wand. Especially ones with unicorn hair cores. The Cypress wood is made for those who would lay down their lives for others. They are selfless, unafraid to confront the shadows that lurk in us all. The find their soulmates in the brave and bold. It tells me that you have great potential. Your core makes your wand even stronger than it already is. It's the hardest core to be convinced towards the Dark Arts and is extremely loyal to its first owner. It's a very impressive wand. I expect to hear great things about you." Ollivander told him. 

"I believe all of that more than I'll believe in anything from Divination." Sirius laughed. 

"Now ... Sirius Black." Ollivander mused. "10¾", Ebony, dragon heartstring. Good for combative magic and Transfiguration, designed for the non-conformists and those who dare to be true to themselves. Not easily swayed from your purpose and you hold onto your beliefs tightly. Your core tells me that you can produce the most flamboyant spells, and very powerfully as well. Yes ... the two of you are a very good team." 

Sirius and Remus cast glances at each other, smiling softly. Turning back to Ollivander, he gave them a knowing smile. 

"What about me?" Chloe asked timidly. Ollivander's eyes flicked to her and he came closer, moving around from behind his desk to crouch down to her height. 

"What's your name, little one?" He asked softly 

"Chloe. I'm Remus' cousin." 

"So you are! I can see the likeness now. Can I do a bit of measuring so that I can find your wand for you?" Ollivander asked. Chloe nodded and Ollivander pulled out a measuring tape, beginning his work. 

~

Ten minutes later, Chloe was looking in wonder at her wand, a 9¾" Firwood wand with a unicorn hair core, as they walked out of Ollivander's. 

Chloe had been given one of Lyall's old trunks, stuffed to the brim with Chloe's necessities, and they'd stopped after each purchase to gently pack her new robes and textbooks into it. 

"Where to now?" David asked. 

"Off to King's Cross," Remus said. "Hold onto each other tightly." 

David frowned but took Chloe's hand, Remus taking the other, using his free hand to link his and Sirius' fingers. He had taken his Apparition exam and gotten his license two weeks previously, passing it with flying colours. James had been the last one to get it, only a few days after Remus had.

Remus focused on a street closeby to Kings Cross and waited as Chloe and David took a few seconds to get over the wave of nausea. 

"What was that?" David gasped. 

"Apparating. It's a form of wizard travel. It's like our version of learning to drive. We can learn once we're seventeen. My friends and I all got our licenses over the summer. You get used to it after a while."

"We won't be doing that to get to school, will we?" Chloe asked. 

"No, it's too far away. We'd have to make several jumps first, it's too much of a hassle and there's too much risk of splinching."

"What's splinching?" David asked, the colour beginning to return to his cheeks slowly. 

"If you don't Apparate properly, you can sometimes end up leaving a body part in the location you tried to Disapparate from. You have to train hard to pass. The test refuses to pass anyone who leaves any body part behind, so I wouldn't worry about ever travelling with someone who passed their test." Sirius explained. 

"Come on, we should hurry. The train leaves in half an hour, but the crowds are usually manic." Remus said. He summoned his trunk and Sirius did the same as the four of them walked across to Kings Cross and walked straight for Platform 9. 

Remus guided Chloe in between the columns between platforms 9 and 10, with all of their trunks loaded into trolleys. 

"Okay, Chloe, I know this is going to sound crazy, but I'm going to do it with you. We're going to run straight for that wall in front of us. Don't slow down, just trust me. You won't crash, this is the entrance to our platform." Remus said. 

"Remus, I think it would be best if I went with her. Not that I don't trust you, but I don't feel so good about letting my daughter run headfirst into a brick wall. She might feel better with her dad by her side." David said, a twinge of anxiety in his voice. 

"Of course. We'll show you how to do it." Remus said, gesturing to himself and Sirius. Chloe moved away as Sirius took his place beside Remus. "After you, Padfoot." 

"See you on the other side, handsome." Sirius flirted, winking and sprinting at the wall, disappearing instead of crashing. 

Remus could feel the warmth of his blush in his cheeks and hoped that David and Chloe wouldn't ask too many questions. He didn't give them the chance as he took off almost immediately after Sirius had disappeared, feeling the wall shift around him as he emerged onto Platform 9¾. 

"Hey, beautiful. You come here often?" Sirius was leaning next to the brick wall, waiting for him, his trolley and trunk with the piles of other luggage. 

"God, you're so cheesy, you know that?" Remus said, rolling his eyes and hurrying to put his luggage to one side, hoping to be there as Chloe and David emerged onto the platform. Sirius pulled him close and stood flat against the bricks, making sure that Remus was pressed against him fully as he pressed their lips together. Here, they would be out of sight from Chloe and David until they had rounded the corner, but there were still other students surrounding them. 

"You've barely kissed me all day, and I miss it," Sirius mumbled into the kiss. 

"Then shut that massive gob of yours so we can do it properly." Remus laughed, leaning back to rest his forehead against Sirius so he could breathe for a moment. 

There was a surprised noise and Remus immediately leapt back from Sirius, heart pounding. Chloe and David had come through the entrance with little issue, silent and sure. 

Once again, his blush was back and he desperately hoped that there would be no awkwardness, hoping that they hadn't seen anything. 

"Right, well ... uh ... let's drop your luggage off and we'll go and meet the others." Sirius said. 

"You go ahead. Go find Prongs and Wormtail, I'll be with you in a moment." Remus said. 

"Moony-"

"Not now, Padfoot," Remus said. "Chloe, why don't you go with Sirius and he can introduce you to our friends." He suggested, sending a pleading glance towards his boyfriend. Sirius caught the look and beckoned Chloe over to the luggage queue, smiling reassuringly at Remus. Chloe hugged her father tightly and she and Sirius disappeared into the crowd with Sirius' hand on Chloe's shoulder firm and gentle so he didn't lose her.

"A-are you ... dating him?" David asked stiffly. "We only saw you with your foreheads together, but it seemed like you'd been kissing."

"Yeah, we are," Remus said. "I didn't say anything because I didn't think it was any of your business. Mum and Dad know, but I didn't know how to bring it up to anyone else, and I don't see any of you often enough, I'm so busy in this world that I don't get a lot of time, especially with my N.E.W.T exams coming up, they're kind of the equivalent of A-Levels but for magic-"

"It doesn't matter to me, Remus," David said. "As long as you're happy, and you help Chloe this year, which you've already been doing a fantastic job of before the term even starts, then I'm happy. How long have you been together?" 

"Almost a year. Our anniversary is the seventh of November, a few days after Sirius' birthday." Remus said. David smiled slightly. 

"Well ... good luck with it all. Keep an eye on my Chloe for me, will you?" 

"Thanks. I'll protect her, don't worry." 

They hugged briefly and Remus went in search of his friends. 

~

"Moony!" James yelled, waving his arms wildly to catch Remus' attention. Remus spotted him and headed towards the Marauders. 

"You'll never guess what's happened, mate!" Peter said. 

"Evans and I are dating!" James blurted out. 

"You realise she has a first name, right?" Remus said. 

"I'm still getting used to calling her Lily." James shrugged. Remus grinned.

"Good for you, Prongs." He chuckled. He and James embraced and then so did Peter and Remus. "What about you, Wormtail? Anything on Mel?" 

"We've been dating for six months." Peter winced. 

"We noticed," Sirius said. "We've been waiting for you to admit it."

"Well ... that's it then. The Marauders are officially all tied down by someone. We're all whipped!" James exclaimed excitedly. 

"What does whipped mean?" Chloe asked. 

"Don't listen to James, Chloe. He's a bit of a tosser sometimes and he says silly things that he shouldn't." Remus said. 

"Yeah, you shouldn't listen to Peter either, he's thicker than Kneazle dung," Sirius added. Remus smirked and carried on. 

"And you _certainly_ shouldn't _ever_ , under any circumstances listen to Sirius. He's the village idiot." 

" _Hey_!" Sirius exclaimed, elbowing Remus gently. Peter and James laughed, Remus' smirk growing wider as he looked at his boyfriend and Chloe giggled softly, almost nervous to be included in their jokes. 

"This is domestic bliss, lads. Hope you're looking forward to it." Remus joked, slinging an arm around Sirius' shoulders, pulling him close and pressing a chaste kiss to his temple. 

~

Remus hadn't seen Chloe since boarding the train. She'd been watching two fellow first years on the platform say goodbye to their parents and stand waiting for the train on their own, huddled together. 

She had told Remus that she was going to talk to them, and within fifteen minutes, the three of them had befriended one another. 

_"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" He'd asked her as her and her friends had chosen the first empty compartment they'd come across._

_"Of course!"_

_"Come and find me if you need me. The four of us have called dibs on a specific compartment since we started Hogwarts, just a few doors down from here, so-"_

_"I know, Remus," Chloe had assured._

_"Come on, Re, let's leave her to it," Sirius said, holding out his hand._

_"See you at the Sorting Ceremony, Chlo."_

_"Bye!"_

Remus was now waiting impatiently for the Ceremony to begin, sat a few spaces away from the front of the Gryffindor table. He'd never felt so nervous for someone else in his life.

Chloe would be a Ravenclaw, surely. He'd been sure that he would be a Ravenclaw once upon a time but had somehow ended up with a scarlet and gold tie under his collar. It was useless trying to predict the Sorting Hat's predictions, except in the case of ancient and pureblood families with their mania. They would almost always be Slytherin, with Sirius being the only exception to the rule that Remus could think of. 

When the doors to the Great Hall opened, Remus only got more anxious. 

"Jeez, love, you're shaking like a shitting dog, are you alright?" Sirius asked quietly. 

"Just nervous for Chloe, I just hope to God _and_ Merlin that she's anything _but_ a Slytherin. I'd hate to see the shit she'd get from them."   
  
"She wouldn't get Slytherin. Hufflepuff, I bet." James murmured. They'd been granted luck in finding four seats available together on the same bench and were watching the first years follow McGonnagall down the aisle to the dais. As the first years passed by their table, Remus saw Chloe and the two locked eyes. 

"Remus!" She said happily, the anxiety written in her features disappearing and she walked faster to greet him. He hugged her tightly when she reached him and Remus heard the soft coos from a few Gryffindors around him. "I'm scared." She whispered. 

"It's alright! It's nothing to be frightened of." Remus reassured softly, pulling back. "Go on, big smile, you've got this! I'm proud of you no matter what House you get Sorted into." He ushered her back towards the group and looked up towards McGonnagall, who smiled kindly at Chloe, and then looked at Remus in pride as their eyes locked. 

Remus barely listened to the other students as their names were called out until, finally, when there was only Chloe left waiting, McGonnagall called her up. 

"Finally ... Howell, Chloe." She called, rolling her parchment of names back up and lifting the Sorting Hat. 

Chloe stepped up onto the dais, turned around and sat on the stool. McGonnagall gently let it settle on her head. 

There was time passing by that felt like hours, but couldn't have been any longer than maybe ten seconds, before the Sorting Hat made its decision.

" _GRYFFINDOR_!"


	24. The Final Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The seventh-year begins

" _GRYFFINDOR_!" 

Remus was on his feet clapping immediately, manoeuvring out of his seat to hold his arms out for Chloe to run into. 

Her face was bright and happy as she ran to Remus and they hugged tightly. 

"I'm with you, aren't I, Remus?! We're in the same House?" She asked. 

"Yeah, Chlo, we're in the same House. I can look out for you so much easier now. Oh my god, I'm so proud of you!" Remus said, grinning. He pulled back saw a matching grin on Chloe's face. Sirius, James and Peter were stood around them and they all gave Chloe hair ruffles and gentle pats on the shoulder, offering their congratulations. 

"You're officially one of the Marauders now. We trust that you learn from us this year and carry on our legacy when we've left school." Sirius smirked.

"Merlin, I hope she doesn't. I don't want her getting into half as much trouble as we have. Come on, grab a seat." Remus said. Some of the other Gryffindors had moved along slightly to allow for Chloe to be able to sit with the Marauders. 

Things settled around the Great Hall and Dumbledore stood, beginning his usual start of the year announcement. 

"Congratulations to all first-years joining us this year. As we do at the beginning of every year, let me introduce to you your House Prefects, who will be in charge of helping the younger students to settle in, as well as providing support between both students and members of staff. We'll do this the same as last year; if the Prefects will stand when I call their names." Dumbledore listed Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw's Prefects first.

"There has been a slight change to Gryffindor's Prefects this year, with Marlene McKinnon taking over from Annalise Michaels. Marlene will be working alongside the same male Prefect from last year, Mr Remus Lupin." Remus stood on his bench and waved over to the first years, echoing last year's feast, and Chloe gaped at him as he sat back down a few seconds later. 

"You're a Prefect?!" She asked in wonder. Remus nodded, smiling at the awe that she showed everything. 

"Maybe you'll be one someday. I'm only a Prefect because McGonnagall knows that James, Peter and Sirius won't listen to anyone else." Remus joked. 

"And they don't even listen to _you_ most days," Lily teased from across the table. 

"You're not wrong." Remus sighed, casting a glance at his friends as they nudged and prodded each other, pulling stupid faces. 

~

When the feast had ended, Remus and Marlene showed the first years up to the common room. In between commentary about different aspects of the castle, about how things would be working now that they'd been Sorted, Marlene and Remus caught up with recent news.

"Did you hear what happened to Anna?" Marlene asked. 

"No. How come Dumbledore replaced her with you?"

"She went a little nutty over the summer, got in with the wrong crowd. Dumbledore found out and didn't want her to be a bad example to the younger years. Her family has ties to Sirius', did you know that?" Marlene said. 

"Yeah ... I vaguely remember Sirius saying something last year about how his parents had tried to marry him off to her a while back before he went to live with James. I don't know why I didn't ever connect the dots that she might've gotten in with the Blacks in a bad way." Remus said. 

"Well, if anyone knows how to get involved with the Blacks in a _good_ way, it's you. I can never tell what's going on in his head, whether he's mischievous or just adventurous. Either way, he's just a different kind of mad from his parents and his cousins." Marlene said.

"You know he's not like them, Marlene. He's different. He's ... _nice_." Remus told her, blushing slightly. "We've already known each other for six years and he's a bit of a handful sometimes, but none of us would have him any other way." 

"I don't think Anna liked the whole situation with you two." Marlene broached carefully. 

"Oh, trust me, I'm aware." Remus chuckled. "She cornered me in the Prefect bathrooms last year about it." 

"Really?! Like, fully covered up or-"

"If you count being surrounded by bubbles as covered up, then yes." Remus winced. Marlene made a gagging noise. 

"Eugh, that's disgusting." Marlene cringed. 

"Tell me about it. Sirius wasn't too happy when I told him." 

"I'm surprised he didn't rip her head off. Merlin's beard, that boy is so protective over you, it's unreal."

"What can I say? He's my guard dog." Remus laughed, referring to Sirius' Animagus form. It was common amongst the four of them to slide as many animal-related jokes and comments into everyday life, knowing that there was a thrill and sense of camaraderie between them for what they did every month and the reason why they'd taken on the responsibility in the first place. 

When they reached the common room, they uttered the password to the Fat Lady, hurried through the tunnel and showed the first years the common room, watching their faces light up in delight and wonder. There was so much for them to learn and love about the castle. And this would only be the beginning for them. 

"The boys' dormitories are on the right and the girls' are on the left. The rest of the night is yours to do with as you please." Marlene said. She looked over towards the fireplace at the sound of laughter and her face soured. "OI, Black! Stop hogging the sofa!"

"Make me, McKinnon! I'm saving it for Remus. Speaking of which, stop hogging my boyfriend!" Sirius called back. Remus rolled his eyes. 

"Sirius, stop being a nightmare!" Remus chastised fondly. "Enjoy the rest of your evening, first years. Marlene and I are here to help, so come to find us if you need us." He looked over at the sofa that Sirius was sprawled on and saw James and Peter smirking, holding a pack of Every Flavoured Beans in their hands. "Whatever you three are up to with those sweets, stop it this instant!" 

He walked over and lifted Sirius' legs so that he could sit down. When Sirius decided to start fidgeting, Remus moved so that his legs were laid out on the cushions, taking over the rest of the sofa and letting his head lean against the armrest. Sirius crawled in between his legs and laid on top of his chest with their legs intertwined and his head nestled into Remus' neck.

"Remus?" A voice asked timidly. It was Chloe. She stood in front of the sofa where Sirius and Remus were laid out and was fiddling with her fingers nervously. 

"What's up, Chlo?" Remus asked. 

"Can I come and sit with you?" She asked. "I don't want to go up to the dormitory just yet, but I don't know anyone else down here."

"Here, have this seat," James said, standing up from the armchair he was sitting on and sitting on the floor beside the fireplace instead. 

"Thanks, James. There you go, Chloe, you're always welcome to sit with us." 

Chloe took a seat, looking incredibly small in comparison to the Marauders. 

Remus took a deep breath, the comforting weight of Sirius on top of him and the warmth of the fireplace bringing him peace. Hogwarts was his home, and he knew that he couldn't take any of it for granted anymore.

He had one year left and had to make every second count.

He knew that life would be harder for him every second that he was out in the real world. But at Hogwarts, so long as he had the sofa, and his cosy little dormitory, and the people around him in the Gryffindor Tower, he knew that he would be safe.

He would be wanted and loved and appreciated, seen as a person, as a troublemaker, as the brains behind the pranks and someone people wanted to turn to for help. 

Remus' life would likely be marked by his condition in the world, he would struggle and he would be disliked for nothing more than the thing that shared his soul, but when he had everything he'd ever wanted within five feet of him, somehow that didn't seem too bad. 

The reflection of the fire against James' glasses, Peter's odd laugh, Sirius' bony elbows and hair that smelt like the strawberry scented shampoo he used were his shining light, his saviours. 

Deep down, he knew that whatever was going on with the Order of the Pheonix would not be over when the end of the year came, and they would all likely be joining full time. If Annalise had gotten involved with them, if Snape and Lestrange and the Blacks had had all this time since the Marauders' initial report to Dumbledore to prepare and gain power and followers, then this would likely be an all-out war by the time their recruitment came. 

To say that Remus was scared would be an understatement, but he felt ready. They would fight. And they would survive, and they would be happy. Maybe one day, he and Sirius would be married and living in Wales, or London. They would have dinner with James and Lily and Peter and Mel a few nights a week, have their own families. They were young and had all the time in the world.

"What are you thinking about, love?" Sirius asked softly, lifting his head to look at Remus. 

"Just the future," Remus said. 

"What about it?" 

"What it'll be like when we've left school, the kind of life I'd like to have, that kind of thing," Remus told him. 

"Enlighten us, Moony," James said.

"We'll all be living within travelling distance to each other. We'll be having gatherings and fun little dinner parties together, with our own homes and doing all the boring adult shit we swore we'd never do. We'll all be married, with families and everything will be so pleasantly _boring_. And we'll wonder how we were ever mischievous teenagers, telling our kids stories and telling them to learn from us. Life will just happen, and we'll take it as it comes, just enjoying it because we all still have each other." 

"You're a poetic bastard," Peter commented, and the group laughed. 

"Who do you see us all marrying and having kids with, Moony?" Sirius asked. There was curiosity mixed with insecurity in his eyes and Remus knew that Sirius was hoping for an answer that included him. 

"James and Lily will have a baby Prongs, Peter and Mel will probably end up with animals rather than kids. And us?" Remus said. He smiled and dragged his fingers through Sirius' hair. "We'll be together, of course. Maybe in London, maybe in Wales, or maybe somewhere else entirely. I know how much you love adventures. We'll do a lot of travelling. Maybe we'll adopt a kid or two, raise them better than your parents raised you and your brother. But we'll be married, I hope. I'd like that. We'd be so happy, Sirius, I know it." 

"Do you promise?" Sirius asked. Remus nodded.

"I swear it on my life." Sirius sat up then and Remus followed suit. Sirius pulled off the signet ring on his right ring finger and held it up. 

"My Uncle Alphard left this to me. It's the family signet ring. My mum, him and my Uncle Cygnus all have them, they're passed down between each generation. Alphard knew that Mum would never pass hers down to me. He knew that I'd get disowned eventually, and he never had any kids of his own, so he wanted to make sure I was provided for. He left me all of his assets and a note with this ring, saying that he wanted me to keep ahold of it until the day I found the person I wanted to marry, and to only part with it when I had a yes." Sirius admitted. "I won't ask you to marry me now. I don't want you to feel pressured to get married too young. But I do want you to have this as a promise that I'll ask one day."

"I wouldn't say no if you asked now. I'd say yes wholeheartedly," Remus said slowly. "But if you did ask now, we'd either have a very long engagement or a very rushed wedding, and I want us to be able to take it at our own pace. It all depends on how things go at the end of the year with all that stuff Dumbledore wants our help with. But I can wait until things are more stable and you ask me properly." 

Sirius smiled and handed Remus the ring. "I'll ask you again one day. I hope that your answer is still the same when the time comes." 

Remus slipped the ring onto his right ring finger and tugged Sirius closer by his tie, pressing a kiss to his mouth. "My answer will always be the same." 

~

 _"I'll ask you again one day. I hope that your answer is still the same when the time comes."_ Sirius said out of nowhere.

He was laid on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, which was now covered in dust and grime. Remus was stood above him, twenty years older than he had been when those words had first been spoken and pointing his wand at Sirius' chest. 

"What?" Remus paled. 

"You heard me," Sirius said. "That was what I said to you when we were seventeen, at the start of our seventh year. We were in the Gryffindor common room. James was sat on the floor by the fireplace. Peter and your cousin, Chloe, who had just been Sorted into Gryffindor that day, were sitting nearby. I was laid on you. We were on the sofa. When you went quiet, I asked you what you were thinking about, you told me that you were thinking of what the future held. You knew that James and Lily would have kids of their own, you thought Peter and Mel would end up getting married and have pets instead of kids. And us ... you thought we'd end up getting married and starting a family of our own."

"Sirius-" Remus' voice cracked, but Sirius continued, having to get these words out and make Remus remember, make him trust that he was still that same Sirius from so long ago, the one that had hexed Marie Cavanaugh for calling Remus, 'Moony', who had slept by Remus' side for two years in cramped dormitory beds, but never cared because Remus was in his arms and that was all that mattered.

"I gave you my family's signet ring. And I told you that my Uncle Alphard had told me to part with it when I had a yes from the person I wanted to marry. I didn't ask you then and there, but I told you it was a promise that I _would_ ask one day. I never got the chance. The war broke out at the end of the year and we had to fight. Do you remember what you told me?" 

" _I wouldn't say no if you asked me now, I would say yes wholeheartedly. But I can wait until things are more stable and you ask me properly. My answer will always be the same._ " Remus said quietly, eyes suddenly looking more moist and misty than they had previously. He lowered his wand and moved his hand to his neck, pulling out a familiar ring on a chain. 

"You kept it." 

"Always on my person. I kept it on my finger until your birthday came around just a few days after Lily and James died and I ... I couldn't bear to see it there anymore." Remus said.

He offered Sirius a hand and Sirius let Remus pull him to his feet, throwing himself into Remus' arms and hugging him tightly.

"I missed you, Padfoot," Remus said, his voice sounding small and vulnerable and Sirius almost burst into tears.

If he closed his eyes and wished hard enough, he thought he might be able to see this room as it had been so many years ago, filled with their laughter as they tried to cheer Remus up around the time of the full moon.

Back then, the piano had been in tune, and Sirius remembered the time he'd played for Remus in the sixth year after a full moon. McGonnagall had come down with Madame Pomfrey and they had been forced to lie about why they were there with Remus, and Sirius had insisted on being recognised as an amazing housewife. 

So many years ago. So many mistakes and lies and heartbreak and loss. 

"Bloody hell, I haven't heard that name in a long time," Sirius said, pulling away to take Remus in.

The years hadn't been kind to either of them. They were both greying, despite being in their thirties, and both of them looked tired and like they'd lived through a war every day for the last twelve years. Sirius leant their foreheads together and Remus gripped his waist tighter as he was scared he'd never be able to again; like Sirius would disappear if they let go of one another.

"I missed you too, Moony. More than you'll ever know."

"You're Moony and Padfoot?!" Harry asked. "Those are two of the names on the Map. That's how you knew we were down here and what to look for. You know the password because you made it." 

"You have the Map?!" Sirius asked. "How?! Filch dug through our things on the last day of our seventh year and took it from Remus' trunk. It's been in his office collecting dust for the last twenty years."

Remus flicked his wand and summoned the Map, handing it to Sirius and letting him play around with it to see the welcoming words of Prongs. 

"Your father, Peter, Sirius and I are the Marauders. We made the Map to help us keep an eye on patrols when we were sneaking around the castle grounds and causing trouble. I did the research and helped James and Sirius cast the spells that make the map work. We all plotted out the corridors during free periods. I'm Moony, Peter is Wormtail, Sirius is Padfoot and James is Prongs. They were the nicknames we had for each other at school." Remus explained. "We have lots to discuss and not a lot of time. We have to hurry before someone notices our absence." 

~

"Professor Lupin, who's that picture of on your desk?" A student asked.

Remus Lupin, now in his fifties and once again teaching at Hogwarts, greying even more but somehow looking younger thanks to the happiness that he had experienced since that reunion in the Shrieking Shack, looked over to his desk and smiled at the frame from where he was standing beside the chalkboard.

He had fought and survived in the Second Wizarding War twenty years ago, was awarded a First Class Order of Merlin and had managed to get married. Professor McGonngall had defied sour parents and reinstated him as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. 

_Life had simply happened._ Just as he’d predicted on his first night of seventh year, curled up on the sofa in the Gryffindor common room.

The dog curled up by the side of his desk that now lived with him in his office just up the stairs of this classroom, who served as a therapy dog to students who had a rough time, looked up at Remus.

There were grey strands of fur speckled throughout his black coat, and the steely grey eyes almost gave away his human counterpart as he stood and brushed his head against Remus' hand.

Many people knew that he was an Animagus, knew that he was Sirius Black and that he lived alongside Professor Lupin.

Many had also noticed the matching rings on their fingers and the fact that Sirius, whenever he was seen as a human and addressed by other teachers, it was never by 'Black', but by 'Lupin'. 

Remus smiled down at the dog, scratching behind his ears and picked up the picture. Here, he was twelve years old, at the end of his first year and standing with his friends at the Black Lake, their arms around each other. They looked at one another, pulled silly faces, and then looked at the camera and smiled nicely.

"This is a picture of myself and my three best friends at the end of our first year. I have many, many pictures of us all. But this was the beginning of an era. During those days at school, I made the best friends I could ever have. One of them died in the first war, another in the second. I married the third one and am living my happily ever after every day. In short, these are the people I spent the best days of my life with."


End file.
